


stickers

by sincerelyseo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: AU, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - High School, Athlete Lee Jeno, Basketball Player Lee Jeno, Child Abuse, High School, Homophobia, I say it’s angst but it ends up pretty fluffy um, Implied Sexual Content, Jaemin is a precious baby :(, Lee Jeno is Whipped, M/M, Mention of abuse, NCT Dream - Freeform, Romance, Sad Na Jaemin, Soft Na Jaemin, Strangers to Lovers, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Sweet Lee Jeno, mention of bullying, nct - Freeform, slow burn but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:48:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 34
Words: 85,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23747116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincerelyseo/pseuds/sincerelyseo
Summary: " . . . can I have a sticker ? "In which Na Jaemin has a shameful reputation for his sticker-covered skin.-EDITED
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 138
Kudos: 656





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you or someone you know is experiencing any form of abuse please seek out help and do not be afraid to reach out to someone! Your life is precious and deserves to be treated as such.
> 
> With that said, enjoy

INTRODUCTION;;

(only intro will be written in all lower case)

"the prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets"

everyone had secrets.

everyone knew that everyone had secrets

but what those secrets were? nobody had a clue

it was common for people to push down things they didn't like and cover them up with whatever they could find. on a rare occasion, these people would open their wounds for someone they love, hoping to be fixed. in other instances, the metaphorical bandaids were ripped off as the attacker seethes venom, trying to only worsen one's condition. 

the world was interesting, and way too complex for the likes of lee jeno.

"the prettiest eyes have cried the most tears"

jeno would often find himself searching within people's eyes, trying to unravel them with just his gaze, but that was often proven to be too difficult for a high school junior who had trouble even passing trigonometry. 

'my eyes must not be pretty at all,' jeno muses to himself, twirling a yellow pencil in between his middle and index fingers. his gaze lingers towards the large window across the classroom, where his thoughts continue to wander. suddenly, getting too caught up in his own fantasy land, the pencil flings from his grip as his face runs pale and a chorus of hushed giggles spreads throughout the classroom. 

jeno's cheeks become a bright, cherry red when he feels the attention shift from his teacher to him, and he quickly mutters a small apology, allowing the slight uproar to fizzle back down into near silence. he internally hits himself over the head, but is soon snapped into a state of surprise when a slim finger pokes into his shoulder.

"the kindest hearts have felt the most pain"

the head of light brown hair turns to the source of the feeling to be met with sticker boy staring at him, jeno's pencil in hand— the same one he had catapulted off the desk only moments previously. sticker boy, that's what everyone called him. he hadn't always worn the title— because he hadn't always worn the little colorful figures all over his pale skin. he was actually relatively normal up until the start of sophomore year. 

they were positioned randomly on his neck and arms, and they'd change nearly every day, which everyone assumed was because he had to shower, thus wash the stickers off. today, jeno secretly found himself staring at the small kitty on the back of the hand that was extended towards him, the neon colors seemed to directly correspond with the various rainbows, hearts, smiley faces, and various other objects all over his body.

jeno offers him a slight nod and accepts the pencil, which would hopefully remain unnoticed by the rest of their peers. the last thing he wanted was for everyone to assume that he was hanging around with na jaemin. hell, if the basketball team caught wind of it he'd be dead meat. he inwardly gulps upon remembrance of just last week, when he had privately tried to defend jaemin.

but jaemin ended up being slammed against the lockers anyways. jeno could very well still visualize the fragile form shaking afterwards as he sat on the ground in the hallway— seemingly alone— as he didn't know jeno was watching from around the corner. his heart was weighted down with guilt and so were the downturned corners of his lips. 

he wasn't a bad guy, and he didn't want anyone to get hurt, but hey, what can you do?

jaemin grins at the boy slightly before leaning back in his chair and staring at the teacher, his head shifting up and down between the board at the front and his notebook, which he filled out with an array of multicolored gel pens. it was strange sitting so close to jaemin, he smelled of both flowers and cigarettes somehow, but he didn't seem like the smoking type. jeno couldn't stand the odd combination. despite his friends lighting up every time they hung out, he never grew used to the smoke, and would often excuse himself outside.

the younger boy was oddly joyful for someone with all three of the earlier-mentioned qualities, and jeno couldn't help but wonder both how and why? what meaning was hidden under the stickers? and, more importantly, what was hidden underneath na jaemin?

perhaps jeno would never know.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> high school students are dicks

Jaemin hated being at school. Almost as much as he hated being at home. Almost.

Being a junior already, he wasn't exactly at the bottom of the food chain, but he was damn well near it— or at least that's how it felt. High school was hard in general, but subtract the generic number of friends from the equation, and it became a living hell. Jaemin was all too familiar with this concept, sitting alone at lunch, doing group projects by himself, and even avoiding a large portion of the students out of fear of being shoved around like he usually was. 

A lot of kids his age would have grown upset about the situation he was in, letting tears sting their eyes— blinding the subject from any ability to smile. Jaemin was a little different, he didn't care at this point, he was never popular growing up, so the transition from having two or three friends to none at all wasn't exactly drastic. In a sense, he was popular now— but not in a good way. They say that any publicity is good publicity, and to this Jaemin would argue. He didn't like being rammed into the lockers, he didn't like the stares and whispers every time he walked to class, and he certainly didn't like the spit that sprayed across his features when the basketball team was screaming in his face and letting names slip past their lips.

Nonetheless, he was passive, and would sit there enduring whatever torture he was to be put through. He hated the basketball team— as they seemed to target him the most. He didn't take it out on the younger members though, since the senior players controlled the underclassmen, forcing them to do their bidding— even if that meant stealing Jaemin's backpack and planting it in a random trash can around the school (which was apparently their favorite gimmick these days.)

It was nearly every day that he was mistreated by fellow students. It had been a year already, and it only seemed to get worse as time passed on. Many people would stare at Jaemin, but it was rare that someone would speak in a tone that wasn't hateful. That was— except for Yeri and her friends. Jaemin's mom and Yeri's had grown up together and were friends into adulthood— so it was common for the two children to have play dates growing up (despite the girl being a whole year older.) They continued to interact throughout their school years, and eventually grew apart as most friends do. Now and then, however, the small group of senior girls would come over to Jaemin at lunch or in class to briefly catch up. 

Now was one of those times.

"Why don't you come eat with us?" Sunhee offers as she looks down at the boy nibbling quietly on his meal. "It's not like you have anyone else to hang out with at the moment." She receives a small pinch on the elbow from Hana, who scolds her in a rough whisper only moments later. Jaemin watches as Sunhee rolls her eyes and Yeri steps forward with a small, welcoming smile. 

"You know you can join our table, Jaemin."

But Jaemin didn't want to. Ever since Yeri started dating the mvp of the basketball team, Park Daeshim, his life was made miserable every time he tried to speak to her. Daeshim despised Jaemin, and was always sitting with the senior girls at lunch, dragging along other members of his team like Mark Lee and Lee Jeno— who were both considered to be his minions despite Mark being the same age. 'What a pussy.' He would laugh to himself.

The light haired boy shakes his head with a grateful half-smile before waving as if to dismiss the idea, if it were a tangible object. "I'm fine guys, thank you though. Maybe another time?"

"Well, whatever you say, man. Stay safe, okay?" Yeri shrugs before gathering her other friends and pulling them back to their table, which was now filled with basketball players. Including who Jaemin liked to consider satan himself— Daeshim. The older boy watches Yeri walk over to him with a glint in his eye, and slips an arm around her waist when she sits down beside him. 

"Babe, why are you talking to that freak over there?" He frowns, turning his head to pout at his girlfriend. "You know what I've told you about him— he's weird— you can't trust weird. Did he say anything today?"

"He's not weird, Dae." Yeri sighs as she shimmies a bit, trying to loosen his grasp on her. She hated how critical he was of others, and it annoyed her to no end. "No, he didn't say anything. Can we just talk about something else?"

Jeno watches the couple argue for the nth time this week. Upon the brief mentioning of the boy, his eyes flicker up to rest upon Jaemin sitting alone at his lunch table, picking apart a turkey sandwich. The boy was strange to say the least— but Jeno didn't think that justified the treatment he received— he was still a human after all. He seemed to constantly catch himself staring at the younger boy, but he couldn't be blamed when there was so much to look at.

Today, Jaemin was wearing a rather large sticker on his neck— which didn't go over well with the rest of the student body. Many assumed that he was covering some kind of small hickey, and Jeno hung his head low to avoid making eye contact when he heard Jaemin being pushed in the hallway on the way to first period. They were shouting disgusting things at him, and calling him shameful slurs, telling him that he must have been crazy to show up to school like that. However, Jeno didn't believe that Jaemin had done anything dirty— because that means someone would have had to do it with him, and nobody their age was going to be willing. 

It was most likely just a coincidence, and he felt like putting a sticker there. But instead of saying this, Jeno chickened out and scurried away. Later that hour, he asked his teacher to be excused to the bathroom, and upon arriving, heard small sniffles from within one of the stalls closest to the back wall. He immediately recognized the troubled sobs as Jaemin's, but yet again, he didn't dare interact. 

Later that school-day, right after the last bell, Jeno stands behind a set of lockers, listening closely as his friends conspire next to him in reference to their target. When the thin boy walks around the corner, he's grabbed by the collar and swung to the other side of the hallway. Jaemin tumbles to the ground, landing on his backside as Daeshim stands over him with a roar of laughter. Mark and Jisung stand right behind him, but Jeno remains still. Just like he always did.

"Who do you think you are talking to my girlfriend? And even worse, making her defend your ass?" The tallest spits hatefully, crossing his arms over his broad chest with a sneer. "How many times do I have to remind you to stay the fuck away? I guess the last time we bruised you up wasn't enough, huh? I expect nothing less from a psychopath like you, sticker boy." He taunts.

Jaemin wanted to yell. Jaemin wanted to get up and run away. Jaemin wanted to cry for help and make them stop, but his fear prevented him from doing so. His life nearly flashes before his eyes when he sees one of the expensive sneakers jolt forward and jab him right in the ribs. The senior then crouches down, watching as tears well up in Jaemin's eyes and smirks as he then slaps his hand on to one of the few stickers on the smaller's neck, causing him to wince and whimper in pain. 

"Don't make any noise you dumbass!" This time, he pinches one of the stickers on Jaemin's forearm while the latter bites his lip, attempting to stay quiet. "You're lucky I have to meet Yeri outside, or I'd really get at you. Just remember what'll happen if you keep this up, got it?" Jaemin nods, trying his hardest not to cry. "Good." Daeshim stands up and turns back to his friends. "Let's go."

And just like that, they're gone. Except for one boy of course, and you could probably guess who that is. He stares at the weak figure as Jaemin gathers himself and slips his backpack over his shoulders. Jaemin walks past Jeno, shooting him a glare and looking at him with ice-cold eyes before he takes off towards the entrance of the school, slightly bent over as if his side ached. 

—

Jaemin walks into the dark apartment and his eyes travel around the room until he finally spots his mother passed out on the sofa, burnt up cigarette in hand. It was, unfortunately, a familiar sight, but at least she wasn't awake. Lord knows what happens when she's awake. 

Jaemin tiptoes into the kitchen, grabbing an apple for dinner before quickly retreating to his bedroom. It was rather small, but it had his bed, a closet, and a rickety old desk that used to belong to his grandfather. On top of it, laid a variety pack of multicolored gel pens, a fragile notebook, an old cup of water, and about five or six sticker sheets. 

He puts his backpack in the desk chair and rummages through a pile of clothes at the end of his bed, grabbing a t-shirt and sweatpants along with a pair of clean boxers and makes his way to the bathroom in the hallway. The boy stares at his lanky frame and begins undressing, stripping down until he's completely naked. He scrunches his face up into disgust upon seeing the skinny state of his body, and the purple bruise that was already starting to form under his ribs. He hated how he looked, it was repulsive— at least that's how he found it.

Jaemin turns on the shower water and lets it steam up a little before raising a hand to one of his collarbones, grabbing the corner of a pink smiley face and peeling it away, his lip curling up into a grimace when the dark circular burn is revealed underneath, still relatively fresh from the destructive argument that took place only last night. 

"Fuck," He curses under his breath against the sound of the dripping water in the shower as he rips off each of the colorful decorations, watching as his body is revealed to be decorated with the spots. He eyes the newest one on his neck in particular, growing aggravated at the memory of Daeshim slapping it harshly. It was now irritated, and hurting like hell. However, there was nothing Jaemin could do now, so he simply spins on his heels and enters the shower.

When he gets out, he clothes his body and shivers as he hugs his shirt and pants to his chest, shutting himself back into his bedroom and locking the door behind him. He hated how lonely it was here, it was so quiet and dreadful, only making him feel even worse. Jaemin puts his dirty clothes in their pile and moves his backpack to take a seat in front of his desk, letting out a sigh when his tired legs practically give out underneath him. 

Turning on his lamp, Jaemin reaches for the sticker sheets and peels them off one by one, displaying the tiny objects over the marks on his arms, and using the mirror in front of him to cover the ones on his neck. It was always a struggle when he'd get one on the back of his neck, because it was relatively difficult to cover them up, not being able to see the back of your own head. He was starting to run out, which meant that he'd have to walk down to the local gas station and purchase more within the next week or two.

When he's fully concealed, he reaches down to his bag and pulls out his homework, deciding to take the rest of his evening to complete it. That was one of the perks of being left alone most of the time, he'd grow so bored that he had no choice but to do his work. Because of this, he kept fairly good grades, and had high scores in many of his classes. 

In about an hour or two as Jaemin lies on his bed, staring up at the ceiling, nearly dozing off to sleep, he hears a faint knock on his door. He hums in response, signaling for her to speak.

"Jaemin," His mom calls out, sounding borderline wasted even though she had just woken up. "I'm going out, and I'll be back later." Of course she was leaving. 

"Okay."

He didn't care, this was nothing new. In fact, it was surprising that she even bothered to tell him this time, she rarely did anyways. Jaemin would usually just walk in to the living room early in the morning to start his daily journey to school, and be struck with the overbearing smell of alcohol. His mom would usually be slumped over the couch, or even somewhere on the floor. It was truthfully shameful for someone her age.

Jaemin scoffs, turning on to his side and facing the window on his left, staring at the setting sun just over the horizon outside. He didn't like this at all, but part of him couldn't bring himself to believe he deserved any better. Exhaling, he grabs his stuffed animal in front of him and pulls it into his stomach, nuzzling against the plush as he falls asleep despite the never-ending pain— both on the outside and the inside.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what better to bond over than cats with mustaches?

"And no more running around with your little friends when your mother and I specifically tell you 'no'!" Mr.Lee groans in annoyance at his son sitting alone at the table in the dining room with his report card in front of him. He recognized that Jeno seemed to be struggling more in school, but he didn't know that it had gotten this bad. And now, the teenager only had a month to raise his grades or else he'd be forced to quit the basketball team, which was truthfully his main entrance ticket to university. "You're a fucking junior now, Jeno, you'll be leaving in a year. You need to display some responsibility before you end up throwing away any chance you have at a career!"

Jeno twiddles his fingers in his lap shyly as his father glares down at him. Jeno didn't like having low grades in most of his classes, but trying to balance his school and social life was a difficult task that left one or the other to become neglected— and Jeno always chose his friends, which his parents assumed was because he's young and naive. He wanted to prove them wrong, but he didn't dare speak, or even make eye contact for that matter. That was equivalent to asking for sudden death in a boxing match. 

However, Jeno would have surely been more confident if it was a physical boxing match. 

"And you know what else? You're getting a job." He adds with his arms crossed over his chest. Jeno parts mouth slightly to protest the idea but is shut down when his dad begins walking towards the door. "No objections, find a job by this time next week or else you will be grounded and tied to this house like a prisoner, got it?" Mr.Lee doesn't even give the boy time to answer before he walks outside and slams the door behind him. 

Jeno sighs heavily and lays his head down on the kitchen table, staring at the wall across the room, he gets lost in thought. How was he supposed to find a job, and that fast too? He was still young, so there weren't even many places he could apply for. Besides, it didn't change the fact that he still had no interest whatsoever in working. Jeno had the rest of his life to do that, why start now? But alas, he had no other choice. So, Jeno stands up groggily and grabs his car keys from his room, deciding to go on a job hunt. Not exactly how he wanted to spend his Saturday, but oh well. 

Luckily, he ends up finding a gas station looking for cashiers, the only requirement being that the applicant is sixteen years or older, which Jeno was. It wouldn't be as cool as being able to work in restaurants or at the skating rink like his friends, but he felt like it would be laid back and easier in a way. It was a job nonetheless, and that was good enough for him. 

—

"Okay class, for the upcoming project, you'll be paired up with a partner to build a model of an invention from the late 1800's, together, you will have to write an informative essay about your invention and how it has influenced the world we live in today. I'll be assigning your partners now." Mrs.Choi explains, clapping her hands together excitedly as the rest of the class rolls their eyes at her enthusiasm. "Okay first off, we'll have..." Her eyes scan down the roster. "Hana and Jiwoo, remember, you can collaborate to decide what your invention will be as long as you tell me what it is afterwards."

Jeno dozes off quietly in his seat as he waits for his name to be called. The teacher takes her time making her matches and it only makes the class feel even more dreadful than usual. Instead of focusing on who's with who, Jeno gets distracted thinking about the job he'd be starting this weekend. He applied to be the gas station cashier a few days ago, and much to his surprise, they contacted him within a day to tell him he got the job. The only downside was that it was on the more dangerous side of town, but he figured he'd be fine. 

Jaemin, who was seated a bit to Jeno's left, was also tuned out. The teacher's words became nonsense in his mind as he leaned over his desk to doodle in a notebook with his pens, outlining the petals of what he decided was a daisy, though the type of flower could be left up to interpretation. This week was passing by just as any other, except for the fact that he'd now have to talk in class if he got a partner— that was somewhat frightening. He hates interacting, especially with the kids in this class. 

However, both boys are dragged viciously back into reality when their heads snap upwards at the sound of their names leaving Mrs.Choi's mouth near the middle of her selection.

"Jaemin and Jeno, you will also be working together. I hope this won't be a problem for either of you." She smiles at the two and then turns back to the other students. The kids who already had their partners were already beginning to discuss what they would do, so Jeno sighs, coming to the quick conclusion that he should do the same. It wasn't that he disliked Jaemin or thought he was weird, but befriending him was certainly something that would not work towards the favor of Jeno's fragile social life as it stood. 

Jaemin fights the urge to clasp his heart that seemed to be spiraling into his stomach and instead of moving closer to the boy, he continues drawing absentmindedly. His muscles seemed to tense with each time Jeno inches closer, and he couldn't help but remember last Friday when the older watched him get harassed, and then dared to stay and observe his exit. It was humiliating, and he hated the fact that the other was around to see it. 

"Hi Jaemin." The soft voice rings through his ears and jolts into the younger's throat where it's then swallowed as a forming lump of nervousness. Jeno sits still, waiting for a response. He had pulled his chair up to the side of Jaemin's desk and was now staring down at the sketches on his paper. One in particular catches his eye as he raises a singular finger to poke at it questionably. "Is that a kitty? I mean—a cat?" Jeno corrects himself and internally slaps himself across the face for saying something as dumb as 'kitty' within the first twenty seconds of their conversation. 

Jaemin doesn't look up and slowly nods his head, the ice cream sticker on the back of his wrist moving along with his hand as the pen flies across the sheet to create a perfectly rounded line.

Jeno grows stiff in his seat from the awkward tension surrounding the two. Maybe Jaemin was a little strange— but at least it was that bad. And hey, he was good at drawing, that's cool right? His own hand returns to his lap where two thumbs then twiddle in slight anxiousness. What was he supposed to do if Jaemin didn't want to talk? Could he just request a new partner? 

"So, what do you want to do for our project?" Jeno questions, hoping to gain some insight from the quiet boy. Spoiler alert— he doesn't— at all.

Jaemin shrugs carelessly, letting his slender shoulders fall back into place as his elbows remain on the desk. Jeno whines— internally— and realizes that he needed to take more initiative measures in order to gain Jaemin's attention, so he does. His gaze darts to a black pen resting by the front of the table and he reaches for it, smirking a little to himself when he sees Jaemin's eyes follow his arm. In a single motion, Jeno presses the tip to the paper and draws a tiny mustache on the cat he had drawn attention to earlier.

The sticker-covered boy tilts the notebook to get a clearer view, and upon seeing the mustache-d kitten, he can't help but giggle a little. Then he decides that it's his turn, and he puts a monocle on the same figure confidently, causing Jeno to share a similar reaction. 

"He looks great." Jaemin comments, putting a small, faux signature near the cat's paw before watching Jeno do the same as if on cue.

"What's his name?" Jeno asks, pressing the small discussion further as he tries to gain Jaemin's interest in an effort to get started on their work. He really didn't need his grade in this class dropping any further or else his dad would surely murder him— job or not.

"How about," Jaemin sits up, tapping the end of his pen to his chin, looking up at the ceiling as if in a deep train of thought, "Jellybean? Is that okay?" He asks, finally making eye contact with the smiling boy next to him to find confirmation. Jeno's eyes flick down to the kitten on the paper and he thinks about the name for a moment. 

Finally, Jeno nods, beaming. "I think that'll work. Do you often draw in class?" He inquires, leaning forward and pressing his elbows into his thighs and resting his head on the palms of his hands, staring at the younger with a thoughtful expression upon his features. Jaemin is taken slightly aback by the question, not expecting at all to be asked about himself— but he doesn't necessarily mind— unless this was another way for Daeshim to tease him later— which could always be a possibility.

He disregards his worry appointed towards the basketball team and chooses to carry on talking to Jeno like a normal person, trying to act like he's not afraid of the outcome. "Yes! I really like drawing." He grins, his thin pink lips parting happily to reveal two rows of white, shiny teeth that seemed to be smiling themselves as he answered the older. "I do it outside of class too though, but like— more than just doodles. I'm not the best at it, but—" He keeps speaking while Jeno watches intently. He had never seen Jaemin act this talkative, and it was rather interesting to see him so passionate and absorbed about a subject. 

Too bad the bell rings before he can say too much. Jeno decides that finalizing the topic of their project would have to wait for another day.

—

"So I heard from Hana that you and Jaemin are partners for your history project this semester." Yeri eyes Jeno as she shoves a hand of not-so healthy potato chips into her mouth. Jeno nods slowly, his pepperoni pizza in hand. He knew that the two of them were somewhat close, but he could never tell to what extent really, so what she says next leaves him speechless. "Just do me a favor and don't be a bitch to him. Jaemin's really sweet, so the least you can do is not get in his way or discourage him when he's working. Got it?"

Jeno simply blinks and stares at the senior, nodding once again when he sees she's genuinely awaiting a response. He wanted to open his mouth and say more— specifically about how much of a 'bitch' her boyfriend is, but he follows the usual 'Jeno trend' and bites his tongue back from becoming too sharp. 

"Good." She replies, sighing under her breath when she sees Daeshim approaching the table from behind the junior with not one— but two trays of food in his hands. He sits down next to her and begins eating from both of them. Her eyes then transfer over to Mark, who is talking to Sunhee with no food at all. "Hey Mark," she calls out, to which he turns his head in her direction. Yeri tosses the boy the rest of her chips and an apple, and utters a small 'your welcome' when he gives her a thumbs up and a smile. 

A forceful arm makes its way around her waist yet again, and she's pulled closer to the boy next to her. "How has your day been?" He asks, as sweet as possible, his fork twirling the spaghetti— or at least what was supposed to be spaghetti— on one of his trays. "Excited for the party this weekend? It's going to be hella fun." He assures her for the millionth time since her invitation.

"I'm not going."

"What?" Daeshim quirks an eyebrow, pulling away from the girl and looking at her as if she's crazy. "Why not? We literally talked about this yesterday, you have to go."

"I don't have to do anything." She spits, remembering how she promised her childhood friend, Jaemin to hang out this weekend. It had been a while since the two did anything together, and hanging out with Jaemin helped her feel refreshed, almost like he was her little brother. "I'm taking Nana to the mall. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to dump my tray." Yeri gets up and quickly makes her way away from the table.

Daeshim rolls his eyes and then locks them with Jeno's, sneering quietly as he leans forward to release a harsh whisper. "I guess that means we have to pay sticker boy another visit, huh?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lee jeno best boy

"Hey punk," Daeshim approaches the young boy slowly, smirking at the fact that his figure is found to be at least double the size of the shorter's, "you got plans this weekend?" He asks, invading Jaemin's personal space as the latter feels his back press up against the locker behind him. Nearly every day after school— probably because there's less staff.

"No." Jaemin spits, feeling like it would spare him pain, instead, he's met with a set of knuckles being slammed into the right side of his jaw. His eyes tear up at the pain, and he hunches over, hurdling towards the ground as the lights seem to blur overhead— along with the other boys' faces.

"Don't fucking lie to me." Another punch soars through the air and lands on Jaemin's arm, to which he clutches it firmly and winces, starting to cry solely because it hurt so much. He didn't dare fight back— he'd never fight back. Fighting back for him only translated into worsening the condition and potentially getting in trouble.

Something unexplainable begins to bubble up in the pit of Jeno's stomach. He was never one to speak out when this was happening, but seeing it today made his teeth clench. He feels Mark pat him on the arm and whisper that they should leave, but he doesn't budge.

Daeshim continues to laugh and taunt the weak form on the floor, kicking and punching as he pleases, hoping to inflict enough pain to keep Jaemin away from Yeri for a long time— but nothing seemed to work. His friends stand awkwardly in the background and occasionally cheer him on— knowing that they'd be toast if they didn't. Jaemin feels as if it's routine at this point, getting assaulted after doing nothing wrong. He didn't find his friendship with Yeri to be a problem.

Jaemin feels himself begin to black out— the room spinning and growing dark— when suddenly a rough hand from behind grabs the back of Daeshim's head and jolts it forward with as much force as it could, shoving the senior's face into the metal lockers. Daeshim's body bounces off with a heavy clang, and he groans upon impact, his adrenaline rushing as the new cut on his forehead starts leaking the familiar, crimson liquid. Jaemin could have sworn his heart stopped beating when he saw the oldest boy turn around with a snarl.

Jeno stands still, his fists balled against his sides, with a stern expression. In contrary, Mark and Jisung are seen not too far away with wide eyes and silent mouths. 

Daeshim lunges forward and places a hand around Jeno's neck as he growls, his merciless nature seething from his tone with each syllable. "What the hell, Jeno? Did your hand happen to slip? Because the last time I checked, you were on my side. Not the freak's."

"There are no sides when it's just you being a little bitch who doesn't know how to keep his girlfriend interested." Jeno shoots back with a devilish glint in his eyes, dismissing the pressure around his throat, which tightens— slightly raising his anxiety. "How does it feel, by the way? Surrounding yourself with people who can't fucking stand your ass." He chokes out, knowing exactly where to hit Daeshim's emotions and make it hurt.

With that, a strike is aimed at Jeno's face this time, and before long, all three of the boys against the lockers are partaking in a ruthless fistfight, which was really just two juniors against a bratty upperclassman. Jisung and Mark flee from the scene, one of the school's math teachers taking their place and gasping upon the scene of a trio of high school boys beating each other on the ground like a group of dogs. 

When she interjects and breaks up the fight, Jeno's lip is busted, and he'd probably have a black eye in the morning, Daeshim still has blood running down his face and his jaw appears to be dislocated, and Jaemin suffers from merely a bloody nose. In the span of a few minutes, they transfer from the tile floor to sitting shoulder to shoulder in the principal's office— awaiting to hear their punishment with shame dragging their shoulders down into a slump.

Jeno sits, holding a tissue to his bottom lip, and feels a ping of regret strike through his entire being as his mom is called on the phone. Yeah, she was less likely to crucify him for the situation, but it would certainly be relayed to his father before he got home that night— and that was enough to make him want to piss himself. He had just recently been scolded for not doing well in school, so what would happen now that he was set to be suspended? Sudden death, perhaps? Anything was possible.

The light brunette leans over in his chair and buries his face in his hands, sighing and rubbing his temples while the three wait for their parents to arrive. Momentarily, his eyes flick in the direction of the other boys, Jaemin, who was sitting next to him, and Daeshim, who was seated on the end of the row, closest to the door. He sees sympathy mixed into Jaemin's eyes, whereas Daeshim looked exhausted and fed up more than anything.

Jaemin felt bad. Maybe if he were quicker with leaving after school this would have never happened. However, part of him was still confused— did Jeno really feel bad for him? One of Daeshim's goons, fighting back on his behalf? Maybe he wasn't as bad as the rest of them, but it was still too soon to tell. That didn't change the fact that he was the reason Jeno got hurt in the first place— and the guilt was strong. 

Their parents all arrive and hear out the penalties for their sons in a reflection of their behavior. It's revealed that Daeshim would be suspended for two weeks— having started the fight— and both Jeno and Jaemin would be suspended for one— being seen as participants. Jeno catches a small hint of the disappointment splashed across his mother's features as she stares down at him and shakes her head slowly. She had been called in from work for this? Just to hear that her son was being reckless?

When everyone exits the small office, they all walk to their respective cars, and Jaemin feels as if someone stapled a dreadful cloud of humiliation over his head— as it was that obvious. He's ready to just go home and sleep for this entire suspension when he hears Jeno call for him a few cars away.

"Hey Jaemin." He starts, stepping over to Ms.Na and Jaemin (with his own mother's permission.) "We may not be in school, but I'm hoping to work on our project while I'm at home. Do you have a number I can have to call you so we both know what's going on?" He asks, rubbing the nape of his neck with one of his hands under the bright, early evening sun. Jeno proceeds to hand Jaemin his phone and watches as the younger boy nods and enters his digits into the device, waving and offering a small goodbye before getting in the car.

"Jaemin—" His mom starts when they're alone in the vehicle. Quite frankly, he didn't want to hear it, he was already surprised that she was sober enough to come pick him up, nonetheless lecture him for something he didn't even start. Jaemin thought that it was ridiculous he got into trouble anyways, considering he was the victim here. Despite Jaemin's annoyance, she continues anyways. "What am I going to do with you?"

Jaemin doesn't reply, he stares out the window and watches the other cars pass by, wishing that he was one of the small children within them instead. His mother continues talking, but he tunes her out, just like he usually did.

Their relationship was far from stable— it had been that way for as long as Jaemin can remember. Apparently, there was a short period of time in which they lived happily with his father, but when that ended, the woman substituted the lost laughter and smiles with drugs and wild nights, wishing to return to her youth rather than drown out old memories with new ones of her son. To an extent, Jaemin understood, but she always took it further than what would be generally accepted. 

Jaemin picks mindlessly at the heart sticker on the back of his left arm, flipping the corner that had been left upturned from his fight. He starts thinking about what he's going to do over his week-long break, figuring in advance that it would prove to be rather boring, but at least he didn't have to deal with the people at school.

Maybe it wouldn't be that bad.

—

"You better have a damn good explanation." Mr.Lee slams his fist down on the dinner table, causing the plates of food to clatter slightly upon impact. His eyes were narrowed and he appeared as if he was ready to leap over the table and strangle Jeno any second. The sight of his father mad made Jeno want to ball up in his chair and ignore the world for as long as he could, but he couldn't do that. "Are you out of your mind? Do you know what this will do to me if this travels around?" He asks.

Jeno hadn't thought of that, actually. His dad was the owner of a (relatively successful) local business, and had many workers underneath him who looked up to the man. If they heard about the fight, it would most likely tarnish Mr.Lee's reputation around the building and ultimately make him look like a failed father— when he really wasn't.

The boy compresses his lips into a thin line and looks away in embarrassment, gathering his words as both of his parents gape at him curiously. 

"Daeshim was picking on this boy that we go to school with— he was hurting him— and he wouldn't stand up for himself, so I stepped in—" Jeno admits, wiping his sweaty palms against the fabric of his pants. They continue staring at him, unsatisfied with his answer, so he continues. "I've seen him pick on this kid day after day and none of the teachers ever see what goes on. I wasn't doing it because I felt like fighting, Dad. I did it because I was defending him and the other kids Daeshim loves to poke at."

"Well aren't you a modern-day hero?" His father snorts sarcastically and leans back in his chair at last, making the decision to focus back on dinner rather than his headache-inducing child. "It's not your place to step in on the behalf of someone else, because look at you now, you got in trouble. If you wanted it to stop, you should've left and came back with a faculty member."

Jeno keeps his eyes fixated on the ground as the words travel in one ear and out the other. He knew that he should have felt sorry for hurting anyone, but he didn't. He didn't feel a single ounce of remorse to the boy whose face he slammed into the school's lockers, he only felt bad about getting caught for it. He'd do it again if the two were in private, because Daeshim deserved it. 

He didn't know what came over him, but the moment he saw the older boy taking his anger out on someone who was helpless and wouldn't hurt a fly, something within him sparked, and his head wasn't in control of his actions anymore. Jeno wasn't ever known to be a violent person, or even irritable at that, but it was almost as if a switch was flipped after all this time of being a witness for so long. 

"We're still upset," His mom jumps in, "but just try to be more careful the next time, okay? We don't want to see you get hurt, or get anyone else hurt— no matter how much you think they deserve it. Also, we expect you to be working during your time off, got it?" She asks, to which the boy nods slowly. He had temporarily lost any and all recollection that he'd be starting his job soon, and the reminder was not appreciated to say the least.

After a long talk about 'containing your urges' and a hot shower, Jeno retreats to his room for the night and slips under his bed sheets, feeling oddly accomplished for someone who had just been prohibited from physically attending school for the next week. 

Part of him questions what the rest of the school would think about the ordeal. Would his reputation change for the better? Maybe people would begin to gawk at him with awe and question how one person could be so cool. He chuckles to himself when he pictures himself finally being viewed as someone who wasn't to be messed with. He didn't want to be scary— just not a pushover. 

His mind travels throughout his day as he wondered how Jaemin was feeling about the situation. Was he grateful? Or rather just embarrassed that it escalated to become so out of hand compared to usual. Another question Jeno asks himself if what would have happened if he didn't interrupt? Would Daeshim only have pushed his buttons? Or would something worse have happened? It was getting too late to ask all these, so with a low sigh, Jeno turns on his side, facing the wall to try and sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short trips to your local gas stations at night is surely a good idea... but only when a handsome cashier is involved

Jaemin sets foot into the evening breeze with his jacket hood pulled up to conceal his face. The bruise above his top lip was only slightly faded, and the little purple patch remained rather noticeable. It was cold— and the blonde-haired boy wished he had a coat, but the thin jacket would have to work for now. He had grown to be too tall for the one he owned, so his only other option was to either freeze or make do with what he had. 

He trails away from the apartment complex quietly and sighs as his eyes drift upwards at the darkening sky. The sun was setting, and it wouldn't be long before it would be considered 'dangerous' to be out and about. However, Jaemin didn't care, he just wanted to get away from his mom. She was having one of her episodes again, and he really wasn't trying to stick around and be hurt. 

It seems that Jaemin's feet subconsciously drag him along the side of the road until he finds himself at the local gas station. It had been a while since he showed up to purchase anything— or even look around— but here he was, getting ready to enter and rummage through the isles in search of his sticker packets. He ran out yesterday, so he hadn't been able to shower since and it was bothering him. Thanks to the fact that he liked to shower and be hygienic, he was in desperate need for the item.

The small head pokes into the front entrance and the bell above welcomes him with a small 'ding!' The boy's gaze shifts discreetly to view the cashier— which he expected to be the usual older woman who he liked to converse with, but he instead found a handsome, chiseled face and light hair to cascade down the sides. Unfortunately, he recognizes the teenager right away and dives into the nearest isle before the brunette can see him (or, so he thought.) Jaemin's breathing paces itself as he looks for something to distract himself with, not wishing to interact.

The other boy watches, amused.

"Jaemin?" A deep voice calls out from behind the register. The tone sends a slight shiver and a sense of embarrassment down the younger's spine as he moves away from the row of chips beside him in order to reveal himself in all of his glory— which consisted of a black jacket, some gray sweatpants, and a white tshirt. "What are you doing here?" The employee asks, raising an eyebrow as he scans Jaemin's shaky form up and down.

"Um, I just came to get—" Jaemin grabs a pack of stickers off one of the isles and steps up to the counter, placing them down and refusing to make eye contact with the boy, "—these."

He didn't know that Lee Jeno had gotten a job here, and if he did, he would've waited until later that night to come get what he needed. Alas, he was now all alone with the older, probably on the brink of making himself look like a fool. One wrong move and Jaemin wouldn't have the courage to face Jeno for weeks. 

"Oh." Jeno replies, picking up the stickers and scanning them to calculate the price. "Will that be all?"

"Yes." Jaemin nods and pulls his bottom lip in between his teeth, chewing on it quietly to help ease his nerves. Jeno watches as the younger boy's eyes dart towards a row of iced coffees off to the side and display a sense of yearning. He takes note of Jaemin's uncertainty and finds the gesture somewhat enchanting, as ironic as it sounded.

"That'll be two dollars." The older concludes and turns his head slightly to where he wasn't facing the screen anymore, and was instead staring into Jaemin's soul with his dark, slender eyes. Jaemin feels himself grow uneasy— and pressured— as he rummages through his pockets for the change as if his life depended on it. His knees were weak, and he could practically feel the older's gaze boring into him and chilling him, only making his anxiety even worse. 

Jeno stands silently and watches Jaemin fumble to find his money. He tries to keep his expression neutral by restraining an expanding grin. 

Finally, Jaemin retrieves two dollars and slaps them on the counter with a prideful expression. Jeno offers him a small smile and puts the money in the register, he then grabs a plastic bag and walks over to the coffees, putting one in the bag along with the stickers. He hands the bag to Jaemin, to which the latter's lips part in surprise.

"I didn't pay for—"

"It's on me." Jeno shrugs and grabs his own wallet out of his pocket, taking out enough to cover the beverage. He puts the cash into the register and leans over the counter, pressing his chin into the palm of his hand. "Take care, Jaemin, it's getting dark out there." He muses, his charming features pulled up into a smirk. "I'll call you soon to work on our project."

Jaemin nods once again, his knuckles turning white while his pretty fingers lock firmly around the plastic handles. He waves a short goodbye to Jeno with his free hand and then parts, stepping out into the parking lot with nothing over him except the lights that were in place to illuminate the sidewalk. He shivers a bit, feeling the cold air smack his face and travel through his bloodstream. The only difference between now and when he had arrived was the flustered red color that had splashed on his cheeks.

When he gets home, he pushes the front door open and clouds of smoke intrude on him and his personal space, shoving mercilessly into his young lungs like they had done for years now. His eyes transfer over to his mother, who was slouched over a chair at the table, appearing dazed and half-asleep. Her frame was running slim, and she was rather skeleton-like, all bony and lifeless-looking.

It was strange comparing their current state to old family photos, such as the ones that hung on their bleak walls in the apartment. The small family was once so nurtured and healthy. Everyone wore bright smiles and nice clothes. Their hair was groomed and brushed to perfection, and little Jaemin had a face that could have ruled the entire world someday. 

His eyes were always his face's focal point, shimmering with a glint of curiosity and wonder that others found enticing. Those eyes were often considered dangerous as he was growing up, relatives would stare in awe and make silly remarks about how just making eye contact with the bubbly boy made you want to give him everything you had as long as he was happy. 

Jaemin himself wasn't sure when, but over time, those eyes morphed to reflect a dark and careless attitude, almost as if all the crying he had done on a nightly basis washed out any sense of life that was rooted in them previously. 

The boy approaches her from behind and taps the woman on the shoulder, to which she surprisingly jolts upwards and straightens her back, turning around to face him with an annoyed glare. The cigarette in her hand is nearly burnt-up, and there are ashes scattered across the wooden table below. 

"You didn't go out tonight?" He asks, genuinely confused. It was the weekend, and this meant that according to the usual schedule, she should be out right now, doing lord knows what— probably doing the first guy she happened to see that night.

As of recent, Jaemin found himself unable to restrain his sharp tongue towards his mother, and it usually came back to bite him in the ass. He blamed it mostly on the fact that he was pushed around at school, so going through similar treatment at home was enough to push him over the edge and spit out whatever came to him first.

"Shut the fuck up, brat. Who do you think you are talking to me like that?!" She shoots back, looking both taken aback and offended. In a single motion, she extends her arm and presses the end of her cigarette to Jaemin's hand, causing him to wince and stumble backwards, nearly tripping over his own feet. 

Jaemin scoffs in response and dashes towards his room, bag in hand, before she can further the conflict. When the door is shut and locked behind him, he throws himself on the dusty bed, trying his best to ignore the burning sensation on his skin. It seemed like everything burned these days, both externally and internally. It all burned so much. Whether it was his mom's addictions, the kids at school, or even his discontent with himself, Jaemin couldn't bear the sting— but he had to. He had to because part of him still held hope somehow.

He wasn't going to give in, because that would mean that those who had wronged him would have won. Sure, being oppressed and shoved was a bit of a hassle, and he didn't appreciate it at all, but he wanted to be spiteful and hold on simply because nobody expected him to. Part of him believed that his treatment was wrong, and he wanted to resist what they were leading him towards. 

He sits up on the end of the mattress and grabs the coffee out of his bag, gripping the cold container and twisting the cap off before setting it aside on the nightstand and pressing the rim of the bottle to the entrance of his mouth. Jaemin throws his head back quickly and lets the sweet, chilly liquid run down his throat, numbing the clogged and dry feeling from before and replacing it with something refreshing.

The memory of Jeno's smile from that night replays itself in Jaemin's mind, and he sees the boy beam at him yet again. His heart grows heavy at the remembrance of the sight and his chest tightens, nearly exploding into a swarm of butterflies that would inhabit his entire body with another passing second. 

The moon in the sky outside seems to pity him as it looks through his window and frowns, a little more dim than usual. It reminded Jaemin of Jeno's own face, pale and full of concern. He thought it was funny, the fact that Jaemin was supposed to be seen as the sticker-wearing weirdo, but here he was, baffled as he tries to decide why the athlete remains consistently devoted on the idea of helping him. 

Why was Jeno choosing to stand out from the rest of the student body and aid Jaemin in particular? He had no idea.

It was probably sympathy, but Jaemin didn't want sympathy. He wanted someone to care for him because he truly meant something to them, not because they felt obligated to show affection. That's something Jaemin always liked about Yeri, they knew each other even before everything started happening, so she felt like a real friend rather than someone who wanted to make him out to be a charity case.

It was always pretty obvious, who was being nice because they felt sorry and who was being nice because they meant it. 

However, Jaemin couldn't seem to put Lee Jeno in one of those categories. Yet, at least.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for delayed update,, also kind of unedited sorry for that too

"Hello— oh, hi Jaemin! Come inside and make yourself at home, I'm just going to go grab what we'll need real quick." Jeno flashes a welcoming smile.

Jaemin nods slowly, watching Jeno turn on his heels and ascend up the staircase. He hesitates for a moment, but ultimately takes off his shoes and makes his way deeper into the living room, where he sits timidly on the edge of the Lee's expensive-looking couch. He fights the strong temptation to chew his fingernails in response to the anxiety that dawned on him when Jeno left the room only seconds previously. 

The light-haired boy looks around to take his mind off of things, gnawing at his lip subconsciously— hoping that it doesn't swell upon realizing his actions. The Lee's were very well off. You could see that simply by the state of the modern home. The stairs, which Jeno had taken, spiraled up a long way until they finally connect with the second floor. The house itself was spotless, much cleaner than Jaemin's own when he mentally compared the two.

He felt out of place, like a pebble drowning in an ocean of sparkling diamonds. Jaemin didn't belong here among this expensive decor, hell, he barely belonged in his own apartment (or at least that's what his mom made it feel like most days.) 

The large, family picture on the wall across from him shoots down a taunting series of snobbish smiles and help to remind him that he's inferior. The scrawny teen can feel himself sinking into the cushions and growing smaller with each second. Jaemin often struggled with the fear of sticking out in new places, which he thought was rather ironic, considering his whole sticker ordeal seemed to equate to something attention-seeking to most strangers. 

Jaemin can tell it will be a long night. 

When Jeno comes back, he has two notebooks and a few pens in his arms along with his laptop. He balances everything down the stairs slowly, not wanting to drop things, and takes a seat on the other end of the couch away from the younger. To Jaemin, it looked like the taller didn't want to get to close because he was resistant to befriending him, but Jeno is truthfully keeping his distance so he doesn't scare him away or get too close for comfort.

Jeno tried to be as considerate as possible. He wasn't good at this type of thing, considering that he led a pretty average life up until this point. He never had many complaints growing up, and none of his childhood friends did either. However, he could tell that Jaemin had been through some shit, so he'd try his best to understand if it meant that the younger would feel comfortable.

"You good?" Jeno takes note of the smaller's stiff exterior and leans against a decorative pillow with a growing frown. "You look a little tense." He adds upon earning a confused glance from Jaemin, who was minding his own business with his hands folded over his lap.

"I'm fine. I just never really go to anyone's house, I'm sorry if I'm a little awkward." Jaemin coughs a bit, trying to reposition himself so that he didn't look like a statue seated on Jeno's sofa. It only ended up looking forced though, and it made him appear even more questionable than before.

Jeno leans over a bit and places a firm hand on the round of Jaemin's shoulder, his eyes becoming flooded with somehow both concern and understanding at the same time. Jaemin's—in contrary—become wide as a sudden sense of fear pumps through him and his brain starts seeing red sirens everywhere in his head. The sirens grow louder and louder and the distance between them shrivels. "Would you like something to drink?" Jeno asks, hoping that a refreshment would soothe him.

Jaemin rolls his shoulders into a straighter position with a polite nod, saying that he'd like one only if it wasn't an issue, to which Jeno says it's not and departs to the kitchen. He returns after what is probably all of thirty seconds, his hand extended towards Jaemin— and in it, one of the iced coffees Jaemin loved from the gas station.

"I didn't know you liked these too." Jaemin comments, accepting the beverage with a gracious smirk.

"I don't, but you do, so I brought one home with me last night." The other shrugs, grabbing his laptop off of the table in front of them, bringing it into his thighs and snapping the lid open to fire up their main research document again.

Jaemin's fingers tighten around the glass bottle in his hands, and he eyes it suspiciously, wondering why Jeno would go out of his way like that. Nonetheless, he appreciates it and sips down the entire thing within the next fifteen minutes. It was somewhat embarrassing— how fast he chugged it down— but Jaemin loves coffee, what could he say?

Jeno has to hold himself back from giggling as he lets his eyes wander shamelessly over the boy sitting prettily— right there on his couch. Of course, he'd never admit the 'pretty' part to even himself, but at this point it was an established fact that Jaemin was— quite frankly— rather adorable. Jeno couldn't quite wrap his head around why everyone didn't think so. Even a blind person ought to be able to recognize and appreciate Jaemin's strange charms. 

The afternoon drags by slowly, which is dreadful when you're doing a school project the entire time, but the extended circumstance also gives the two a chance to sink in and grow comfortable with one another. Instead of being seated at the edge of the cushion, Jaemin is now propped up against the couch with his legs in a crisscross position in front of him, sweater paws curled up in his lap while he grips on to each and every word that leaves Jeno's lips. 

Jeno was completely engulfed in his own thoughts. He had been rambling for a good ten minutes now about something that was barely even related to their research, but Jaemin found himself staring regardless. 

His outer shell would suggest that he was fully engrossed in the words themselves and what they meant, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Quite honestly, Jaemin was busy distancing himself with his own thoughts as he holds up an attentive facade to fool his partner— which works, surprisingly. Jeno seemed sharp, but I suppose even the brightest lights in the harbor can appear dim at times. 

Jaemin was intrigued to say the least. The entire time he'd been seated, he focused himself on finding the answer to solely one question. A question that seemed too irrelevant to anyone else, but it could potentially make a world's difference to him. 'Why was Lee Jeno so friendly?"

The one boy— the one person— who was nice to him was somebody he'd least expect kindness from. Up until a few days ago, Jaemin would have avoided Jeno like the plague, labeling him as one of Daeshim's puppets that the senior oh-so loved to use when harassing underclassmen. It didn't logically make sense that Jeno would just start protecting him one day, unless...

That's when Jaemin's eyes widen for the second time that afternoon, and he steals another glance at the boy typing away on his laptop with a small smile plastered across his face. He carefully watches the light hair bounce up and down as Jeno rocks back and forth on the couch in a smooth rhythm. He was so focused, yet seemed careless as well. Jaemin wished he could be like that, but that's not the point.

The point is that this was all a trap. A scheme. Some kind of sick prank. It had to be.

Jeno was going to turn on him. That's why he was doing this after all. His goal was to reel Jaemin in so that he could eventually cut the line, and it was working all because Jaemin didn't notice at first. 

Jaemin was fully aware that no one had ever gone out of their way to accept him before unless it was to stab him in the back afterwards. The only person who seemed to stay on his side no matter what was Yeri, at least before she started dating that dick. 

The room starts to spin on a central axis, and Jaemin is knocked off the ground, feeling winded despite never moving. He couldn't move with the metaphorical superglue latching his pants to the sofa. It feels as if someone is pressing a dull rock into his chest with superhuman strength, and he can't take it anymore. He starts to tear up and quicken his breathing, starting to freak out.

"Are you alright?" A chilling voice cuts in, and it's only then that Jaemin realizes he's being stared at as well now. The two pairs of eyes lock into place and the smaller feels his fast breaths get caught up in his throat. He parts his lips but no words come out, so he's left to satisfy his classmate with a shy hum of assurance. 

However, it's not true. Out of nowhere, the walls feel as if they're closing in on Jaemin, and the familiar rush of worried thoughts start to poke at his eyes, letting them well up— but not with sadness, with fear. It's almost like he's suffocating in himself, and it's happening faster than usual. Soon, he can barely breathe at all and the nonexistent grasp around his throat tightens, also causing him to break out in a sweat.

Jeno has no idea what's happening, all he knows is that the boy in front of him has started crying at this point, and he looked like he needed help, but Jeno didn't know what to do. He himself begins to panic upon the scene.

"Jaemin?! What's wrong?!" He asks, nearly yelling. 

Jaemin shakes his head as he tries to choke out an audible response. He'd surely be embarrassed about this later, but there was no time to think properly now. He was terrified. 

"Jeno— please hug me." He cries, his form shaking violently in place. The tears stream down Jaemin's face and drip onto Jeno's heart— which had sank below his chest and was now seeping through the floorboards. Jeno doesn't move at first, so Jaemin just keeps repeating the same line over and over again under his breath. 

He looks like he's in a tremendous amount of pain, so Jeno doesn't give a second thought before coming up to him from the side and wrapping his arms around Jaemin lightly once the message finally clicks, he was afraid of putting too much pressure on him. 

Jaemin flinches a bit at first, which startles Jeno, but he soon closes his eyes in an attempt to sink into the warmth of the larger boy's body. Jeno's arms were strong and firm. They felt protective, which is exactly what Jaemin had hoped for when he requested a hug. Usually when this happened, he didn't have anyone to comfort him, but this seemed to be helping automatically. 

Jeno assumed that this was what was usually considered an anxiety attack. He had no way in hell of knowing how to deal with this kind of thing, but he remembered reading somewhere online that giving the person words of assurance would help— so that's what he does. 

"You're doing great, Nana, just focus on where you are now. You're here, with me. There's nothing to hurt you here." He leans in and allows his words to fan warmly over Jaemin's ear, praying to himself that it would work. Lucky for him, it does, and Jaemin starts trying to control his breathing pattern in his arms. "That's right, keep taking deep breaths, I'm proud of you. You can do this. In... and out... just like that." He raises a finger and wipes a steak of tears off the junior's damp cheek. 

They continue to sit in that position for a long time. It felt like hours, when in reality, it takes Jaemin about twenty minutes to return to a placid state once again. Jeno finds himself dozing off in the process, only listening to the pattern of Jaemin's breathing and observing how it seems to slow down over time. It was funny considering he was supposed to be calming Jaemin, not the other way around.

"I'm going to go home." The soft voice in his grasp croaks. "Thank you for today."

Jeno's eyes snap open, and he's now wide awake. Jaemin stands up, freeing himself as he continues to grab his few things and scurries towards the door, his face red in embarrassment.

He couldn't believe that he allowed Jeno to witness that, and he was now greatly disappointed in himself for letting it happen.

'I should have been able to control myself.' Is all that's running through his head like a broken record that he couldn't stop playing. It was out of his own control.

"Jaemin wait—" Jeno calls out. Jaemin turns around shyly, expecting questions.

"Please stay safe. I'll talk to you again soon."

To his surprise, that's all Jeno says before waving him goodbye with a bright smile, the same one he'd seen when he first arrived. Jaemin hopes he can reciprocate such happiness someday. He wonders if he'll ever get to that point, and what it will take.

Perhaps everything.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> your boy’s back, should boy’s back  
> (basically Jeno and Jaem return to school)

"Glad to see you back." Yeri smiles fondly at Jaemin, who's currently placed under the weight of her right arm (despite Jaemin being much taller.) Being the older-sister type of friend she was, Yeri was overjoyed to see the slender male back in her presence this early in the morning.

"I'm glad to be back, I think?" Jaemin states, sounding more like a question at the end of his sentence. Mainly because that was a complete lie, being here was absolute misery. Every second felt like another closer to insanity as various taunts and insults were thrown his way over the course of a single day. 

"I'm serious, Nana. You know that I worry about you and you didn't even try to contact me over the period of your entire suspension. A whole week and not a single word." Her eyes grow firm, and she stares up at the junior, looking both aggravated and upset. 

Jaemin understood her concern, but at the same time— he didn't. If she cared so much then why didn't she call him? That was something that had always irked at Jaemin, the way that others would claim they cared about you and then not even ask how you're doing. Of course, he knew Yeri loved him, but even just sending a quick text message would have made him a little more sure. 

He decides it'd be best to keep his mouth shut however, and simply nods while continuing to walk towards some of Yeri's other friends.

Upon arrival, Sunhee gets off the table she was sitting on top of and approaches the two, smiling brightly. "Hey Jaemin," she waves, taking a bite out of the green apple in her palm, "you must feel relieved knowing you get a whole week without that dick here to stomp on you." A small laugh leaves the girl's lips and swirl into the air, only to be choked down by Yeri clearing her throat and sending a glare in the blonde's direction. 

"I don't think he wants to talk about it, Sunny." 

Sunhee's face morphs instantly into one of regret, and she wishes that she could slap a piece of duct tape over her mouth. She lowers her head slightly in embarrassment and apologizes. "You're probably right, I'm sorry."

Yeri finally lets go of Jaemin and gestures for him to join her at their table. The first bell hadn't rung yet, which often meant that Jaemin would be cooped up somewhere in order to hide from the other students, but here he was, now in the middle of what he considered the shark tank while sitting next to these girls. 

He liked the idea of having people to talk with, but no matter how hard he tried he never really fit in with any specific group— even Yeri's friends who were more than welcoming of him. Jaemin couldn't pinpoint whether it was his blatant awkwardness or his strange appearance, but something always felt off when he was with one of the most popular cliques in their school. Hell, they were the golden group of girls from the senior class. He would forever be thankful of how kind they were to him, but he just couldn't bear the tension when they hung out together. 

It was especially beneficial whenever they'd stick up for him, but nobody seemed to want to stand between him and Daeshim— which was truthfully the main concern. Being around Yeri only made him a bigger target to some, but then she'd defend him. Their entire situation was awfully contradictory. It gave Jaemin a headache just briefing upon it. 

"You should let me do your makeup sometime." A voice suddenly cuts in from across the table, starting Jaemin and making him jump slightly in his seat. He turns his head at the source of the sound to see Jiwoo leaning towards him with a grin.

"What?" 

"Your eyes are so big and you have really nice eyelashes." She responds, fluttering her own lashes as if wanting to persuade him and let her apply the cosmetic products all over his skin. "Oh my god you're so handsome! Why doesn't anyone talk about this? Probably one of the best faces I've seen in this school."

Jaemin feels his face flush over a bright shade of red at the sudden compliment. His heart speeds up a bit, not being accustomed to the praising. Someone calling Na Jaemin good-looking was unheard-of within the school walls. He was known as the sticker boy, not as someone who could capture hearts. 

"Thank you, Jiwoo." He offers her a tiny smile to which the bubbly recipient nods with sparkling eyes and a coo. 

On the other side of the cafeteria, Jeno is being greeted by his own friends with smiles that are a little less warm and expressions a bit duller. The basketball team were rather boring other than Yukhei, who was quite the interesting character to say the least.

Yukhei, known at school as Lucas, was one of the tallest kids in school, and looked more like a man than a high school student. His hands were especially large, and the team would often joke about how they were confused at how he didn't deflate the ball when merely catching it. 

Despite towering over every other member and striking fear into at least half of them, he definitely had the biggest heart— but Jeno couldn't tell whether it was due to ignorance or genuine understanding. His grades weren't the highest by any means, and were often just barely hovering over the minimum grade requirement to continue playing basketball, but he was smart when it came to emphasizing with others. 

Whenever they lost a game or when one of the teammates was feeling double the amount of stress than usual, Lucas would be the first one behind them patting their backs and saying that it would be alright. Somehow, with his lopsided smiles and deep voice, they'd believe him. 

"Jeno! We missed you!" Lucas comes up to said boy from the side and hugs him tightly, pressing the shorter into his chest excitedly.

"We hung out while I was gone, Xuxi." Jeno chuckles, accepting the embrace and letting himself be squeezed half to death. He knew that the older meant well, but he was just— so strong— it made it difficult to breathe with Lucas wrapped around him.

"But I still wanted to see you back at school." He replies, turning away and sitting down with the rest of the team, who was currently half-asleep and trying to study for their upcoming tests that day. Jeno couldn't help but notice Mark looked like the grim reaper with his black hoodie pulled up to his chin and the circles underneath his eyes almost the same shade. 

"Are you okay, Mark?"

The latter doesn't react for a concerning amount of time before his head jolts up in a lazy fashion and he blinks a few times, humming in response. 

"Dude you look terrible." Jeno grabs the milk carton off of Jisung's breakfast tray and slides it to the senior, hoping that it would refresh him a little bit to drink something. "Here."

"I was drinking that!" Jisung whines, snapping his book shut and shooting daggers with his eyes at his newly-returned friend. "Mark is fine! Look at him!" He gestures towards the hooded frame with his arm, voice nearing a yell. 

Jeno shifts his vision back over to Mark, who is now laying with his head on his backpack, a small trail of drool leaving the corner of his mouth and threatening to spill onto the fabric below.

"See? Just fine." Jisung muses. 

Suddenly, Lucas approaches Mark from the side and smirks before clapping his hands together right over Mark's right ear, scaring him awake and causing the younger to react by freaking out and pushing his textbook forward, knocking over and spilling the milk in front of him.

"Lucas!" Mark snarls while standing up, moving his things to prevent them from getting soaked while everyone else does the same and stifles a chorus of laughs. 

"Oops!"

—

Jeno walks into history class that afternoon and slips into the desk next to Jaemin's, observing as the pale student pays no mind to him and instead continues to draw in his notebook. This time, he was drawing a rose rather than a cat and was in the process of outlining the soft-looking petals when Jeno sat beside him. 

Once again, providing Jeno with a sense of déjà vu, his gaze trails over the sticker-covered arm extended over the desk and gapes curiously while the hand attached makes all kinds of strokes on the paper. 

Jaemin can feel the eyes searing into him, but he can't help but ignore it. The humiliation from this past weekend was still fresh in his mind, and he had truthfully considered skipping school this morning— just so he didn't have to face Jeno. So rather than making eye contact or saying hello, he keeps drawing.

Suddenly, a set of fingers creeps up on to his sheet if paper. Jaemin passes, grimacing a little as he lifts his head to stare at the owner. A pair of dark eyes is smiling back at him and causes Jaemin to feel a flower bloom in his tight chest. 

Jeno looked better than usual. It wasn't that anything changed about his appearance— Jaemin searched, and he couldn't find anything— but yet he appeared so different and it was making Jaemin uncomfortable. 

"Hey Jaem." Jeno speaks, the rounds of his cheeks glowing under the fluorescent lights dangling above the two. "How are you feeling?" 

Jaemin sets down his pencil and sits back in the chair, stretching a bit. "Jeno— about what happened at your house the other evening, please don't bring it up. I know that you mean well, but it was pretty embarrassing for me and I'd rather just move past it. But before we do that, I would like to say thank you."

He didn't even know it was possible, but Jeno's expression softens. His eyebrows furrow, and he reaches out, softly tapping Jaemin's hand. "It's no problem, I just wanted to know if you were feeling better."

Before Jaemin can answer, the bell rings and the teacher motions for everyone to take their seats. Jaemin of course, is very thankful for this considering he's now blushing once again beyond his control. Quickly, he discards of Jeno's hand and puts his arms in his lap, facing the front of the room while listening to directions.

What he doesn't see is Jeno side eyeing him the entire time.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaemin almost has as much anxiety as me istg

"What the fuck?" Mark leans forward, nearly pressing his spectacle-covered face against the chilled surface of Jeno's metal locker. "Jeno what is this?" He asks, stepping away and turning to face his friend off to the side who was waiting patiently to get his things out.

"What are you talking about?" Jeno questions, squinting his eyes and coming closer to observe what Mark was paying so much attention to. When he sees it, time comes to a stop and something inside him drops to the pit of his stomach, swirling around and creating a nauseous wave of dread. 

Taped to the front of Jeno's locker is what appears to be a baby pink love letter with beautiful handwriting scribbled all over the front in a bright, blue pen. The corners at the bottom slightly curl up like a smile to greet the boys happily on this fresh Tuesday morning. Reading over it, Jeno couldn't get over how disgustingly cute the words sounded.

Dear Nono <3

hello! you looked handsome yesterday (like always haha), and I just wanted to let you know how much I like you. I had a lot of fun this past weekend and I definitely think we should do it again sometime :) I know that you don't want people to know about us, but just remember that you mean so much to me~

\- sincerely, your love

Jeno's mouth is run dry by the time he's finished. Of course, he had received confessions before, but he wasn't sure if this could even be placed in the same category with those. This made it sound like he and whoever left the note were already dating. For everyone else, there was almost no way of knowing who left it here for sure, but there was one major clue.

Which are the multicolored stickers all over the paper, much like the ones Na Jaemin was known to wear on the daily. 

He steps away from his locker, confused. Mark cocks an eyebrow before ripping the note off and quickly scrunching it up, warning Jeno that he didn't know what would happen if anyone else saw. In all honesty, it was probably too late at this point. Jeno got to school relatively late compared to everyone else so the chances of another student passing by were likely— inevitable even. 

However, something wasn't adding up. Jaemin came off as very reserved and private so it didn't make sense for him to suddenly leave something like this out in the open. The whole act was somewhat fishy, but of course, nobody else would acknowledge that if it meant starting rumors. 

"Is sticker kid in love with you or something?" Mark asks, slipping his hands into his pocket with the paper still in his scrunched palms. He looks at the ground and shakes his own head slightly, speaking low. "I swear, you defend him one time... I know you want to be his friend and all but I told you something was strange about him."

"I don't think it was him." Jeno looks up to lock eyes with Mark, slouched up against a stranger's locker. When seeing the perplexed expression that dawns over Mark only moments later in the form of squinted eyes and a tilted head, he continues. "It looks like he sent it, but Jaemin isn't bold enough for this. Someone else did it with him in mind."

Mark stares at Jeno and blinks for a few seconds, trying to absorb what Jeno took out of the situation. It had to be Jaemin, it couldn't be anyone else. "But it was definitely him, I mean-"

"He was framed, Mark." Jeno steps up and opens his locker to get his first period textbook out. "I know it wasn't Jaemin, so please don't tell anyone that it was, or he'll be really embarrassed."

"They probably know already! Why are you so in denial? People who are shy do this kind of thing all the time in order to take the easy way out. Hell, I've found a few in my locker this year. I think it's pretty obvious that this guy has a thing for you but you don't want to admit it since you're so protective of him and his little feelings. Almost like you just don't want to have to let him down easy or something." The senior steps closer, his words feeling a bit too harsh for the normal Mark. "Well guess what? Covering it up isn't going to change anything."

It was at this moment that Jeno was thankful he was about the same height as Mark, because it allowed him to stand in front of the older and look as intimidating as he could without appearing short.

Now Jeno was getting annoyed, not with Jaemin, but at Mark for assuming things when he had already clarified that it wasn't true. Unfortunately for Mark, Jeno was scary when he got mad. 

"It wasn't Jaemin, now drop it. I'm going to class, bye."

With that, he walks away, leaving Mark to fume silently in the background.

—

Jaemin is sitting in his first class of the day, dozing off with his palm against his chin, when the news reaches him. Considering he didn't have many friends, he was nearly the last person to catch wind of what the whispers in the hallway were actually talking about that morning.

He had received an odd number of looks that morning, but he shook it off since he was so used to everyone staring at him as if he were a walking fish. 

"Jaemin... was it really you?" A slight whisper tickles his ear while the class takes notes over their current unit. He shifts his eyes to his left to find Hana leaning in close to him, her eyes wide like a doe's.

Was what him? He stops writing, trying to think back to what he'd done in the past twenty-four hours that would suddenly raise suspicion. He tried and tried to come up with something, anything, but nothing was coming to him. Perhaps it was still too early in the day and his brain just wasn't awake yet. 

"What?" He asks, giving up.

"The note, Jaemin." She continues, looking forward at the teacher to make sure they don't get caught. "The anonymous love letter on Lee Jeno's locker this morning that the whole school is talking about? Are you guys secretly dating or something? I won't judge if you are, just—"

The familiar knot in his chest from yesterday pops upon her words. He had no idea what she was referring to, but he assumed that it wouldn't be anything good for his already tarnished reputation as the school's freak. Somebody had left a sappy note on the front of Jeno's locker and people saw it, but more importantly, they accused Jaemin of writing it. If what Hana was saying was true, he was screwed. 

"I didn't write a note." Jaemin speaks, his mouth feeling as if it's soon to be sewn shut by the anxiety of what would happen now that there were falsehoods flying around him. The taunts he received now were bad enough, lord knows what would happen as a result of this. 

Even worse, what did Jeno think? He was quite popular and had been known to be dragged around by whatever his friends spit up. With Jaemin's luck, he probably believed everything. He hoped that under some kind of miracle, Jeno would be smart enough to not jump to conclusions like everyone else, but there was only one way to find out at this point. 

He knew that he'd shut down while facing Jeno if things went south, but he had to find out— even if it meant skipping lunch today to avoid harassment from everyone else. 

Another thing he couldn't understand is why someone would want to set him up to this. Obviously there had to be some kind of connection to Jaemin on the note itself in order to make him such a key suspect, but why? Was there someone out there who really just wanted to see him suffer for their own pleasure? Did it make them happy to see Jaemin on the verge of tears when something like this came up? Jaemin hated being a target. 

"But you were with Jeno this weekend, right?" Hana asks, growing quite confused herself. She didn't know what to believe, the only thing she knew was what she had heard— which was rather dangerous if you ask Jaemin.

"Yes, but we're nothing like that." Jaemin spurts, growing hot at just the thought of their relationship being anything more than class partners. Yeah, Jeno was attractive and would probably make an amazing boyfriend, but he was straight, and Jaemin didn't have the time or motivation to like anyone like that— especially when there was no way in hell it'd be reciprocated. 

It was almost like Jaemin had given up on the possibility of him experiencing things that most teenagers do these days. Having friends— he had a few but definitely not as many as the average kid his age. Going to parties— who would invite him? Being in love— now that was just out of the question. Most would consider it sad, but it was completely normal in his mind. 

"If you say so, I'll believe you." Hana shrugs, turning back to her own notebook. "But I can't promise that everyone else will. Be careful out there, Jaemin."

Yeah... be careful. Like that was possible when it seemed like every living thing was out for his neck these days. 

—

Jaemin wasn't kidding when he said he'd skip lunch.

Rather than sitting isolated in the large room in which he'd get sandwich wrappers thrown at him here and there, he sits curled up in the corner of the library with his knees pulled up to his torso, body folded in half. There was a lot of space in front of him, but he didn't want to be sprawled out, he wanted to be as tiny as possible. He wanted to be invisible— to disappear. 

He was supposed to talk to Jeno in their history class this morning before lunch, but unexpectedly, he chickened out and spent the whole period on the bathroom floor. Naturally, knowing that he and Jeno shared a lunch period as well, he couldn't go there either. The library now felt like his only option, a haven if you will. 

The antique-like smell of the pages and the occasional soft close of a front cover radiated a comforting sense of tranquility to the young boy. It was always quiet, and there was no one here to ridicule him. It didn't even matter if he liked reading or not, the library was always open for shelter. 

Jaemin swears he could nearly shut his eyes and fall asleep right there if it wasn't for the sudden entrance of a figure on the farthest end of the room. He recognizes them immediately when they begin storming over to him and his heart threatens to jump into his throat, frightened.

It doesn't take long before a pair of feet are merely inches away from him.

"Jaemin," The boy in front of him crouches down, looking neutral instead of angry, and presses his lips into a thin line, "we need to talk about what's going around."

Jaemin's life flashes before his eyes, but he swallows and nods anyways, deciding to tough it out rather than get up and run away like he usually would have. "Okay."

The brunette repositions himself so that he's now sitting crisscross facing Jaemin. Much to the younger's surprise, he wasn't worked up— or at least he was doing an amazing job at not showing how stressed he really was. His eyes were as bright as always, not a single ounce of resentment within them. Amazing.

Jeno clears his throat before speaking in a quiet voice so that the librarian doesn't scold them. "I'm sure you know about the whole note situation at this point, and I'm really sorry if it's caused you any trouble. I'm just going to get straight to the point and say that I don't think you did it. However, if you did, you can tell me and I won't be upset by any means. Just be honest, was it you?"

Jaemin intends to respond, but he suddenly can't find the right words. Jeno would really believe him regardless of everything being said? He would never be able to wrap his mind around how different Jeno was from the others on the basketball team. If it were anyone else, they would have laughed at Jaemin's situation, and probably even join in on the constant launch of slander, but Jeno didn't do any of that. He was as open and understanding as he could be. Jaemin appreciated it, despite the behavior feeling foreign. 

"No, I didn't have anything to do with that letter. I was just sitting in class this morning and Hana brought it up to me— I had no idea. I still barely even know what's going on but I would never— I wouldn't do that to you. I'm sure you've been made fun of for it as well, and I'm sorry." Jaemin allows everything to spill out, staring directly at the older.

Jeno bites down on his bottom lip and nods. "Well I guess that means we have a bigger problem. Someone must be trying to make you out as a laughingstock."

"I'm not surprised." Jaemin lets out a small, dry chuckle. Laughs are supposed to be careless and light, but his sounds the exact opposite in that moment, and it weighs down on Jeno's heart for some reason. 

He places a comforting grip on Jaemin's knee. "Well don't worry too much about it, we'll find them— I'll help you so that things will clear up for the both of us."

Jaemin is appalled. It would be so much easier for Jeno to take the attention off of himself by distancing from Jaemin and blaming everything on the latter— but he doesn't. He was truly concerned about both of them, and it was the first time in a long time that Jaemin felt like someone was trying to reach out to him.

Jeno was constantly defending him these days and making sure he was okay. He was so gentle and warmhearted, Jaemin didn't exactly know how to react. A ray of light was now shining through a hole in the darkness of his life, and its name was Lee Jeno. 

Of course, after spending time in the dark and moving into something bright, it takes time for the eyes to adjust. It's because of this that Jaemin freezes up, which makes him afraid that it'll make Jeno regret befriending him. It does the exact opposite, and Jeno comes forward to catch the weak boy in a hug, reassuring him that it'd all be okay.

Jaemin inhales into the student's shoulder as a small, yet visible smile paints across his lips.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically mark is a dick

Unfortunately, not everything will be alright just because you claim it will.

"I'm pretty sure Jaemin just has an obsessive crush, he's always seemed like that type to me." One girl whispers to her best friend on their way out of the ladies' restroom. 

"You're right. We all know Jeno only likes girls, and even if he was secretly gay or something, he'd never go for Na Jaemin of all people." The second one assures with a subtle nod and a small cackle, resembling that of a nasty witch from those stories you'd read as a kid. 

Together, the two of them laugh and turn a corner, coming to a halt when they're met with the familiar pair of dark eyes darting into them once they reach the other side. 

Not only was it the boy they were talking about moments previously, but he looked angry. His brown hair was parted down the middle today and it made the expressions on his face clearly visible. It didn't take more than a second's glance to see that Jeno was troubled by their gossip. Regret shoots through their veins at once upon the sight of a vein in his neck making itself visible.

He doesn't move, and neither do they. It turns into a mutual staring contest as the two parties gape at each other, trying to see who would break and threaten to move first. Jeno was firm and stood still. That was another thing that gained him so much attention. He was the generic combination of sweet and cute, but when it was time to be serious he would turn stone cold. It was attractive— but scary when you were the one his glares were aimed at. 

At this point, Jeno was constantly on edge with everyone who tried to bring up what had happened. He didn't want to talk about it, but there didn't seem to be anyone who could respect that. They all lacked their own lives and apparently the only way to make up for it was meddling in Jeno's own. It was ridiculous, and quickly getting out of hand.

He was actually surprised that none of the staff stepped in yet. Then again, there would be no way of knowing if they had caught on since the counselors never interact when it comes to drama occurring between the students at their school. What were they even getting paid for at this point? Taking up space?

One of the girls, the taller one, is the first to open her mouth and crack through the unbearable tension. "Jen-"

"Do me a favor and keep Jaemin's name and mine out of your mouths and spend more time looking at where you're going." Jeno interrupts, scarily calm. Both girls can feel their blood run cold at the unexpected appearance and tone from the male.

"I'm— we're sorry." The other rushes to apologize before grabbing her friend's arm, pulling her past the boy and down the hallway to their class. 

Jeno scoffs, listening to the sound of their quick footsteps getting further and further away. It annoyed him that everyone around this school thought that everything was their business. The love letter situation quickly became the hottest topic around the school since the other morning, even though Jeno would have expected it to blow over by now. People just wouldn't let go of the idea of the weird pairing potentially being together.

Hypothetically speaking, Jeno didn't think it would be that strange if something were really going on between them. He wasn't even attracted to guys, but he didn't like the fact that stereotypes like 'jocks going out with cheerleaders' were being directly applied to his own life. He couldn't believe that people were still labeling others in today's day in age. In his opinion, he could do whatever he wanted— or date whoever he wanted. 

Yes, he defended Jaemin quite often, but it was because the younger truly didn't deserve the treatment he received. Jaemin was a kind figure who needed to be protected and cherished. Nobody else was going to do it, and Jeno found it painful to just sit back and watch disaster strike, so what other choice did he have than to take matters into his own hands?

Being with Jaemin felt like being with a puppy. Not exactly helpless, but rather innocent. How he'd crumble into your arms when you hug him or his large, round eyes that would plead to you with when he wanted you to do something for him. It was somewhat... cute. A hidden part of the basketball player wanted nothing more than to wrap Jaemin up and huddle around him forever like some kind of fragile butterfly.

Something about Jaemin's smile reeled him in. The way his thin lips would curl up to reveal his bunny-like white teeth. The little giggles that would leave him only moments later. The entire atmosphere would change when Jaemin was happy, and it was contagious. He didn't grin as often as Jeno would like to see, but at least every once in a while was better than never. Honestly, Jeno liked being the one to cause that beauty in this world. The beauty of a bright, bubbly young man with sandy blonde hair and a melodious voice. 

Jeno chuckles to himself just thinking about it while he steps back through the door frame at the end of the hallway and into his class. He couldn't wait until history in a couple hours.

In fact, he looked forward to it more every day.

—

"Hey guys." Jeno slips into his seat at the lunch table with his tray, nodding slightly at Mark, Jisung, and their other teammates in the area. A bit to his surprise, nobody acknowledges him like they usually did.

Jeno shifts his eyes around the table silently. It was way too quiet for his liking, and he was suddenly uncomfortable among the people he should be able to trust the most. His teammates were, without a doubt, his closest friends and the fact that they seemed to be ignoring him was disheartening to say the least. 

The rest of the boys indulge in their phone screens while keeping to themselves as they munch down on whatever the cafeteria happened to be serving today. Mark, for one, was in the middle of sipping on a box of apple juice and scrolling through social media when the dark-haired boy in front of him snatches the drink away.

For the first time since lunch started, Mark lifts his head and allows his mouth to drop into a circular shape, surprised at the disappearance of his beverage. As if it were natural instinct, Mark reaches over the table and tries to grab on to Jeno's arm, only to fail and protest the younger's playfulness with a whine.

"That's mine." Mark sets his phone down on the table and watches Jeno smile triumphantly, daring to hold the juice hostage for the entire lunch period. 

"I know." Jeno chuckles, bringing the straw to his lips, but before he's able to drink, the box is taken from his hand with force by an angry-looking Mark.

"I don't want you drinking after me when lord knows what else has been up against your mouth— or should I say who else? I'm not stupid, Jeno." He snaps, sitting back in his seat and readjusting his tray as if nothing happened. Jeno, however, is taken aback at the unexpected outrage while his face starts to burn. 

A flame ignites within the junior for the second time that day, but this time, he's unable to bite his tongue. Hearing Mark say such things made him see red, and to be frank, Jeno was surprised with himself that he was able to go this long without lashing out on somebody.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Jeno curses, his brows slipping into a furrow. "Is that why you're not talking to me? I already told you it's not true, you dimwit. Stop being like this." 

Now, even the youngest at the table is focused on the two. "Mark, with all due respect... I think that was a little harsh, don't you?" Jisung asks shyly, trying to make the latter calm down. Something buried in his eyes perceived a sense of pain, almost signaling that he was also directly targeted by Mark's childish behavior. "We just have to trust Jeno. Besides, it's not our business whether anything's true or not." He says. 

"Stay out of this, Jisung, I wasn't even talking to you. Jeno's the one going around kissing on weirdos, not you." Mark rolls his head over to the side in order to shoot a scary look at the freshman, threatening him to stop talking. "Unless you're one of them of course."

With that, Jisung decides it's probably best to keep his lips zipped.

"Don't talk to him like that, Mark. You know he's sensitive when you take that tone with him." Jeno scolds, sitting up to take a defensive stance. At this point, he was livid with the older's disgusted and disrespectful attitude. They were friends, but Mark had no right to act like this. "I don't know what the hell has gotten into you or why you don't trust me, but it's pretty shameful. I've been nothing but honest with you and you still mouth off to not only me but Jisung too? Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine." Mark grumbles, sitting back and not wanting to continue this conversation any further. We wanted to believe his friend, he really did, but there were just too many connections drawn to dismiss everything. 

Jeno's eyes widen as he stares at Mark in disbelief. One thing was for sure, he was definitely holding up his title as the densest person in their friend group. Mark was always the most subjected to falling for things like this. Then he would proceed to talk your ear off about it unless you upright told him to shut up— and even then it was a gamble on whether he'd listen or not. 

As for the Jaemin situation, Jeno was growing old of hearing about it very fast. It had only been a couple days since everything exploded, but he already had the urge to avoid Jaemin just so that people didn't have room to fill in their own gaps. He didn't want to, but it had reached the point where every hour of the school day, he'd hear something concerning their supposed 'relationship.'

Some whispers he caught wind of made him blush a vibrant red, while others were just outrageous. In his math class, someone revealed to Jeno that they overheard a theory that the two were gay lovers who lived together in an apartment downtown. Jeno had absolutely no idea where that might have originated from in the first place, but it was amusing.

Then of course, there were also the girls who would giggle and debate over who they thought was the... top? Jeno wasn't certain on what it meant, but something about the context of the discussion made him not want to ask his parents for clarification like he normally would. 

Nonetheless, every time somebody brought it back up, Jeno could feel himself being pushed closer to his breaking point. 

Of course Mark Lee would be the one to test the limit. 

"I just can't believe that we have someone like you in the locker room with us." Mark adds with a breathy sigh as he looks away and picks up his phone.

The next thing you know, Mark's tray is shoved into his lap and the boy who was once in front of him is now walking away.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> haha

Jeno, Jeno, Jeno.

Na Jaemin is on the brink of madness.

The messy-haired athlete was all he seemed to be focused on these days. It hadn't even been a week since the speculation arose around them, and things were already becoming a living hell. In the hallways, there were pointing fingers and choruses of laughter. In class, there unnoticed kicks to the back of his chair of spit wads. At home, everything was running as per usual. 

He had more stickers spread across his skin than usual. Unfortunately for him, his mother recently got a new boyfriend who was just as much of a heavy drinker as her. It wasn't anything new for Jaemin to be confined to his room after school, but now it was nearly impossible to even get up and get a drink of water without the sleazy man trying to make conversation. 

Over the past night, Jaemin had fallen ill. Did that mean he was going to spend the day resting in bed? No. He had to go to school anyways. Nobody was forcing him pursue an education, but he would rather be anywhere during the day than at his mother's side, holding her hair while she vomits into the toilet and the smell of cheap alcohol teases his nose. 

Not to mention their apartment only had heating or air-conditioning half of the time anyways thanks to the fact that nobody paid the bills unless it had been an especially-profitable month. Profitable meaning that they would receive aid from one of Jaemin's mom's various boyfriends that seemed to filter in and out of their lives when it was convenient for themselves. It was a shameful lifestyle, and Jaemin hated it, but what could he do?

Nothing, that's what.

Resisting his body's desire to lay down and recover, Jaemin gets up and dressed himself in his usual attire before darting outside as rushed as he could with a throbbing headache. On the way out, he nearly trips over a bottle on the ground, but catches himself on the handle of the front door.

A dark silhouette on the couch shuffles a bit, spinning around to glance at Jaemin with squinted eyes. Jaemin hears a low groan, and then a rough whisper.

"Who are you?"

Jaemin has to fight his instinct to scoff at the question. Who was he? He could have asked the same thing in that moment for crying out loud! He was sure that any normal kid his age would have shot back instantly with some kind of perfectly-calculated smartass response, but he was used to dealing with men like this by now. 

"I'm Ms.Na's son, Jaemin. Don't worry, I was just leaving for school." He announces quietly, not wanting to wake up his mother. His voice came out cracked like an antique vase being dropped down the stairs. He sounded stuffy as well, his nose clogged yet runny all at the same time. He hated being sick, it made him even weaker than usual.

"You don't sound very well." He comments before observing the boy closer. "Also are you wearing— stickers?"

The student standing by the door inwardly rolls his eyes and doesn't answer before walking out, needing to get to school on time today.

Slowly, he braces himself for the day while walking through the soft breeze. At least it was a beautiful day outside. The sun hadn't been up for very long, but it was already radiating an unfamiliar sense of happiness into the bright, blue sky. 

It doesn't take Jaemin long at all to reach his destination— or at least it doesn't feel like it— because he's so absorbed in his own head. His feet begin to move on their own upon entering the school doors and pushing his way carefully through the abundance of students. Everyone was chattery like always. Today seemed especially loud, but Jaemin couldn't tell if it was because of his headache. 

It wasn't. 

All at once, it dawns upon the blonde that it was Monday. It had officially been two weeks since he and Jeno had returned from suspension, meaning that today was the day the third boy would be coming back. Jaemin feels sick, but it's not because of his cold, and scans the cafeteria only to find Daeshim standing next to the basketball team. 

Everyone in the group was laughing and beaming— and something about it felt off. Jeno looked especially joyful surrounded by his friends. Jaemin had seen the commotion that occurred between Jeno and Mark near the end of last week, but he wasn't surprised that the two were on good terms again. It was probably just a misunderstanding. 

Jaemin is drawn out of his observing state when a rough shoulder lodges itself into him, causing the boy to break out into a fit of coughs and nearly stumble to the ground. His legs felt like jelly, but he was determined to make it through the day. Jaemin takes a second to collect himself before looking up at the force that shoved him. 

"You're disgusting." The boy laughs. "Even 'your love' thinks so." He continues to taunt the dazed junior, making a series of kissing noises that make Jaemin scrunch his face in disgust. 

What a wonderful way to say good morning. 

It takes a few moments to sink in what had just been said. Jeno didn't really think that of him... right? The other had spent so much time reassuring him that he wanted to be friends, he wouldn't eat his words now when Jaemin needed them most, right?

Wrong.

Confused, Jaemin drags his feet towards the large group of kids, approaching from behind. He receives a few glances from members of the basketball team, and those same glances soon transfer into snickers and pats on Jeno's shoulder. Jeno turns around to see who's there, and for a moment, Jaemin feels oh-so tiny. 

Jeno looked different. He didn't appear to be the sweetheart that Jaemin was warming up to. instead he came off as cocky in the letterman jacket and shit-eating smirk he was wearing. His eyes were rough around the edges, and he had dark bags placed underneath them. His aura seemed— dark. It made Jaemin gulp down the lump in the back of his throat. 

"What?" Is all he says. 

"I just— I just wanted to stop by and say good morning." Jaemin chokes out underneath the pressure, not sure if this was some kind of joke or if he was still asleep. A strong fever really does that to a person sometimes. "You don't look like you slept very well." He adds, purposefully lacing a traceable amount of concern into his tone. 

The older's face softens, but his words do not. 

"Why do you care? I already told you to leave me alone, it's getting creepy." Jeno chuckles.

Jaemin's heart shatters. 

A million thoughts run through his mind at the same time. He said he wouldn't do this. He said we'd work together. He said he wasn't embarrassed by me. He said, he said, he said. 

He was teary to begin with due to being under the weather, but now it was actual tears preparing to streak down Jaemin's face. He can't answer, it hurts. The thought of having to speak to Jeno suddenly hurts, and he wants to leave, but his legs prevent him from doing so. 

Behind the noise of his friends laughing and joining in on the joke, Jeno screams at himself in his own mind. Tons of apologies and synonyms for 'I'm sorry' sit on the edge of his mouth, but the weight of Daeshim's muscular arm around his shoulders compresses them into mere thoughts. 

"Well, what are you still doing here?" Jeno asks, pained at his own resistance to reach out and hug Jaemin. "Go. Get lost." He commands, and for a moment, Jaemin can swear that he hears that last word feel strained. Jeno released it so forcefully as if wanting to discard of his response as quickly as possible. 

"Fine. I'll let you be." Jaemin nods, clutching his bottom lip in between his teeth. "Sorry for bothering you, Jeno." He turns away and takes heavy steps, feeling devastated at only eight in the morning. 

Jeno fixates his eyes on the smaller's back, his own lip slightly trembling before he's pulled back into reality by the comments of his teammates being thrown around.

"About time, damn creep."

"You won't have to worry about him anymore, Jen."

Oh but Jeno was worried, in fact, he was terrified. 

—

Jeno can't seem to keep his mind in one place that evening at work. No matter how hard he tries, he continues to think back to that morning when he— he didn't even want to admit it to himself.

He never had any intentions of putting Jaemin through pain, in fact he wanted so desperately for the two to become close. It really put a damper on him to treat his classmate that way, but he couldn't begin to think about how Jaemin was feeling as a result of all of this. 

History class was dreadful today. It was much like this morning, forcing himself to keep replies short and hasty. He wanted to give an explanation and spare Jaemin tears, but he couldn't. 

"I heard you missed me." Daeshim laughs from his position on Jeno's front porch. "Well you're in luck, I'll be back Monday."

"Why are you here?" Jeno asks, trying to wipe the crust from the corners of his eyes first thing in the morning. 

"I came here to check on you. I heard you've been having kind of a tough week at school, huh? Some rumor going around about you and sticker kid?" Daeshim tilts his head innocently. "Mark told me that it's had you all kinds of worked up. He even mentioned that you guys have a disagreement over it the other day."

"I guess so. He just wouldn't listen to me." Jeno raises an arm and rubs the back of his neck, feeling weary. He hasn't spoken to Daeshim since their fight, so it was a bit of a shock to see him at his house. "But— aren't you mad at me?"

"Oh I'm furious, but I'm also the captain of the basketball team." Daeshim suddenly begins walking over to Jeno, getting way too close for comfort. "Therefore it's my job to make sure all the players are staying out of trouble. That being said—" he places a hand on Jeno's shoulder and smiles, "I'm going to tell you to stay away from him, got it?" 

"What do you mean? We're not even—"

"It doesn't matter." He gets cut off. "If you're involved in something like this it'll distract you on the court, and then we'll all look bad. I know you want to be nice to him, but you can't. If you do, I'll tell coach, and then we'll see what he has to say about it."

"But I don't—"

He's interrupted again. "I'll stop targeting Jaemin if you distance yourself from him. He's lucky I don't go find him and snap his neck right now for getting me suspended."

It didn't make sense at all, considering that Daeshim was the one to start the fight anyways, but Jeno didn't have the time to bring that up now. How was he supposed to stay away from Jaemin? They were project partners and they had to get the work done somehow. Then again, he didn't want Jaemin hurt.

He nods, to which the brunette receives a strong pat on the back.

"Good."

Jeno points his chin up at the ding of the bell above the entrance door to be met with the view of a skinny boy who had red, puffy eyes and a large hoodie pulled over his slouched frame.

The employee doesn't speak, in fact it feels risky to even move. He simply watches as the male dashes into the usual section of the store he went to, the stickers. He never got a chance to ask what those were for. Jeno had always wondered, but he was afraid that maybe it'd end up being something too personal to share. 

A few minutes later, Jaemin approaches the counter and slaps down a small bottle of medicine along with his usual sheet of stickers. He looks terrible. Jaemin never looked gross or anything, but something about his current appearance made Jeno sick. Not because his state was unattractive, but because Jeno knew he was the one to blame.

Jeno starts to bag the items, slipping in what Jaemin had bought in silence while the latter looks in every direction except in front of him.

Jaemin grabs his bag after handing over cash and hurries out of the gas station. On his way back to the apartment, the plastic sack feels heavier than it should, and that's when his eyes dart down and spot the iced coffee sitting at the bottom. 

What the fuck.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I won’t say much but major trigger warning

Jaemin didn't know how long it had been since the last time he talked to Jeno properly as anything closer than classmates. He lost track after so long. They only dared to glance at each other in history class, and even then, words were kept short. Jeno was a lot quieter in general these days. At lunch, he'd sit with his friends, but he appeared to only listen to their conversations rather than join in.

Things were quickly going back to their usual routine. Jaemin would sit alone in the cafeteria and drag himself miserably through the endless days that eventually piled up on top of each other and merged into what seemed to him like a mess of one. However, despite being secluded from everybody except for Yeri once again, Daeshim and the basketball team seemingly gave up on harassing him at last.

He didn't know what it meant, but the silence made him uncomfortable. Jaemin spent so many months being pushed around that he didn't know what to do with it stopping all at once. Maybe they were plotting something big, and this was just a trope to fake him out, but he told himself that he'd enjoy the 'break' anyways for the time being.

The blonde hated to admit it, but he was a complete pushover. Ever since Jeno told him to leave him alone, Jaemin did exactly that. Like a turtle, he snapped back into his shell in an instant and proceeded to shut down whenever the older was near. He considered it protection. Protection from any further heartbreak. 

Jaemin was never really the best at putting up different facades, but something about this situation was entirely different. He undoubtedly grew attached to the basketball player in a small amount of time and the thought of further angering him haunted Jaemin late at night when he was supposed to be sleeping. The amount of sleep he lost was not only surprising, but also concerning. The dark circles under his eyes alone helped to reveal his late-night thinking tendencies that would often leave him a balled up mess of emotions at three in the morning. 

He hated that there was now some kind of invisible wall between them, but there was nothing he could do about it— just like his position in most of his day-to-day affairs. 

Talking to Jeno was out of the question, but still incredibly tempting. He hurt Jaemin, and the latter was fully aware of that, but he didn't care anymore. The whole thing was ironic really, as most of the student body had predicted it. It drove Jaemin crazy to imagine that he really was just some obsessed weirdo, but thoughts of Lee Jeno flooding his mind convinced him that maybe they were right— but it was Jeno's fault for pretending to care in the first place. 

He could almost be mad at the brunette for charming his way into Jaemin's life, only to ripped out without notice. Almost, only because he cared so much. He didn't think it was possible to genuinely hate Jeno. He changed overnight and the shift in attitude ripped Jaemin in half that fateful morning in the cafeteria, but something in him desired companionship anyways. 

He was so vulnerable.

So gullible.

So stupid. 

Jaemin thought that he was beyond foolish for letting someone take such a toll on him for once. He didn't like growing on people, and for the exact reason that Jeno demonstrated as of late. People leave, they change and then they abandon you. It was a common pattern in his life.

In this cruel world, people either harm you from first impression or they'll end up turning against you eventually. Either way, it was best to avoid human connections, so he did for the most part.

That was part of the reason Jaemin felt so deeply for animals. They were loyal and unchanging— of course a pet dog didn't live as long as a best friend, but at least a dog would stay by your side at all times. He didn't have any pets at the moment, but he'd never forget his childhood best friend, and cat, Jellybean. The same cat he happened to be sketching when he and Jeno were first partnered up. 

The little mustache and the monocle the two added out of fun, those formerly silly features seemed so bittersweet now. That was probably the moment Jeno and Jaemin started to bond, and as much as it would make sense wishing to erase that from ever happening, Jaemin wouldn't take it back for the world. 

Jeno crushed him, and even though Jaemin knew that it would be healthiest to move on and stop letting himself dwell on it, every look he stole of the older would leave him longing for more. Jeno was still beautiful. When he smiled, the whole universe did too— including Jaemin. He wasn't the one making Jeno laugh like that anymore, but part of him hoped that he could be if he held on tight for just a little while longer. 

But the inevitable was that he couldn't. He knew that. He could never have Jeno the way he wanted to. 

Jaemin didn't know what romantic feelings were like anymore— it had been forever since he was even slightly attracted to someone— but his ever-growing infatuation for the basketball player surely meant one thing and nothing else.

Jaemin liked Jeno— in a 'let me be your boyfriend' type of way— and that was the most devastating part of this entire scenario. 

The thumping hearts, fiery cheeks, and tight stomach all slowly started to piece together an upsetting picture for Jaemin. He developed a crush, nonetheless on someone who could never reciprocate how he felt. Jeno didn't feel the same way, and he never would. Jaemin despised that. 

He wanted to run up to Jeno at every chance he got and hold him— or more likely, be held by him. However, this was becoming less likely by every minute that passed.

There was nothing he could do except live with it.

Unless...

He didn't. 

Jaemin stops in his tracks on his way home from school and turns his head to look out over the water flowing beneath the bridge. The air today was cold yet heavy as if carrying the burdens of all the other distressed souls in this world— which would amount to quite a few.

The view was pretty, but somehow contained a sense of dread. The sky was bleak, looking drained and lifeless— much like Jaemin himself. He felt so hopeless, aimlessly wandering around without any sense of support. Jaemin had no one, he was all alone, and that was what scared him the most— having to be alone with himself. 

The exhausted boy takes a few steps up to the ledge, noticing how far of a drop it was to the liquid surface underneath. What would happen if he fell? Would anyone even notice? He was doubtful. With a few bottles of vodka, his own mother would probably forget that he ever existed.

Letting out a sigh, Jaemin reflects. The world was merciless, and only ever seemed to push him away instead of pull him closer like it did to everyone else. At this point, he would have believed you if you told him that he didn't belong here on earth with the other kids his age. 

All of the others had a spot, they had people who loved them and warm homes to come back to after long days— but Jaemin didn't. Nobody wanted him either, so why should he continue to stick around when it would only annoy everybody else?

A few cars pass by a few dozen feet behind his back, but nobody spares a second to acknowledge the boy inching closer and closer to the edge of the bridge, staring down at the rocks hidden under a continuous series of crashing blue waves. The sound of the water splashing against the posts below the structure called to him, almost therapeutically. It sounded like home, but not the home he knew. A home in which Jaemin could finally rest rather than fight for every stinging breath.

He drops his backpack to the ground with a thud and swings a leg over the top of the railing, subconsciously drawn in by the promise of somewhere more peaceful. No more need to muster strength in order to endure another day sounded like literal paradise. The idea tasted sweet on the tip of his tongue, and there was a strong urge to swallow it up whole, ridding everything else he knew now.

Sitting on top of the bar, Jaemin lifts his head and closes his eyes tight like a child wishing upon a star. His thin lips somewhat melt into a subtle smile and the air swirling above tousles his hair gently. He leans forward, ignoring the faint pitter-patter of feet padding against the concrete in the background. 

He lets go, nearly beaming as he awaits his own arrival to someplace bright.

As soon as he feels himself beginning to fall, the fist of an unknown boy clutches into the fabric on his back, holding him in place with a strong arm.

"Get down."

Jaemin's heart stops beating in his chest as he turns around slowly, frozen in shock when he identifies the voice of Huang Renjun, a male student in the same year as him. The two had never spoken before, but Jaemin still knew who he was thanks to their shared Geometry class in freshman year. 

Renjun had hair as dark as night and a resting face that could scare away small children if needed. He was small and thin, but people knew not to mess with him regardless. He was one of those people Jaemin had mentioned earlier— those who belong. The Chinese boy was witty and outspoken enough to be able to stand up for himself. Jaemin was envious of people like that because it could never be him. 

The taller gapes at Renjun in awe, still not quite processing what's happening. Before he's able to mentally catch up and make sense, the fellow junior wraps his arms around Jaemin's torso and forcefully pulls him back on to the ground, not letting go once Jaemin is standing on his own two feet again.

Renjun holds on tight to the shaking boy in his arms, digging his head into Jaemin's shoulder. Upon the embrace, Jaemin starts to cry. He doesn't expect himself to get so emotional, but in the span of half a second he goes from absolutely stoic to sobbing like a newborn baby who had just taken its first breaths. It's hard to believe Jaemin almost took his last just now. 

Renjun begins to rub small circles into Jaemin's back in response to the crying and shushes him in hushed whispers, trying to bring him back down to earth.

For the next fifteen minutes, the pair stands on the bridge hugging with no sound except for Jaemin's tiny sniffles. When he finally calms down, Renjun picks up Jaemin's bag off of the ground and leads him down the street to a local park.

It was an interesting sight for everyone else who happened to be out. Jaemin was certain that he looked stupid with his irritated eyes and jelly-like legs as he trailed behind the student. It was as if the last half hour was some kind of fever dream. None of it felt real anymore despite him being so sure of his choice before.

When they're seated side by side on a bench, that's when Renjun decides to speak.

"Jaemin." He starts, sounding dry. "I don't know a lot about you—of course I've heard things here and there but I can't trust our peers, especially when it comes to my perception of someone— but I know that you must be having a really tough time. I'm not sure of the exact details, but I will tell you that making a huge decision like that is never the answer to anything. I'm not going to pry and ask you what that was all about back there, but things will get better. I promise."

Renjun's words ping Jaemin's heart and the tears start building up again. He wants to answer and thank the older, but his lips won't move. His face feels numb, just like the rest of him. 

"Can I walk you home?" Renjun asks quietly, feeling shy at his own offer, afraid that something would happen to Jaemin if he didn't.

Jaemin hated the chance of someone seeing where he lived, but he also didn't want to be left alone that evening.

Therefore, he nods— and the clouds above the set of heads part slightly to reveal a blinding sun.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renjun best boy? Renjun best boy.

Renjun started walking Jaemin home every day after school. Jaemin protested the idea at first, claiming that he didn't want to be a bother, but the shorter simply shook his head and continuously insisted until the blonde was forced to give in. 

That wasn't the end of it however, he also started sitting with Jaemin at lunch and approaching him in the mornings to ask how he was feeling. It was less lonely, that was for sure, but the friendship felt somewhat strained as if Renjun was only doing everything out of pity— which he probably was. 

Despite the lingering chance of faux concern, Jaemin found himself opening up to Renjun. After all, Renjun was the one who had caught him in one of his weakest moments— that alone established a slight sense of trust. Especially since nobody else at school found out about Jaemin's little episode on the bridge. Renjun promised to keep it a secret, to which Jaemin was more than appreciative.

Along with Renjun came his friend, Donghyuck, who was happy to switch spots in the cafeteria and eat with Jaemin. Apparently there was a third person in Renjun's circle of friends, but he didn't have the same lunch period. Jaemin was secretly thankful. He had no idea what he would do if an extra person he was unfamiliar with was added.

One thing was for sure, Donghyuck wasn't as quiet as Renjun, in fact he was quite the contrary at times. He always said whatever was running through his mind. Jaemin could never imagine living life so freely. He could only imagine what it would be like to remain on this earth and do what you want without worrying about the consequences. 

"Hey Jaem, you were close with Jeno for a bit right?" Donghyuck suddenly asks while cutting up the cinnamon roll on his breakfast tray. "Do you think you could get me his teammate's phone number? He's so hot." He breaks off a piece of the roll with a fork and pokes it into his mouth, nearly drooling as he stares at the basketball team several feet behind them. He did this every day, and it was always in reference to the same boy. 

"Hyuck, shut up and eat." Renjun scoffs and proceeds to rolls his eyes, sketching mindlessly into his notebook and ignoring the younger male. "He likes girls, even he told you this."

"I was just wondering..." Donghyuck lowers his voice in disappointment before turning back to his food and moping into a carton of strange-tasting, strawberry milk. 

Jaemin found himself chuckling quietly at their 'fire and ice' dynamic. The two spent most of their time around one another bickering, and Jaemin was rather entertained by it. Often times, their little disputes would end in Donghyuck pouting or huffing about how things were unfair, but it was funny and still lighthearted.

He had to admit that things were feeling more bearable with these two by his side. Even if it was just because they felt bad for him, Jaemin appreciated the company. They were truly nice people.

Then again, he had thought the exact same with many people before. 

Things weren't getting much better other than that. At home, his mother's new boyfriend was beginning to spend every night at their apartment, meaning that Jaemin had to pretty much live within the floorboards if he wanted to avoid him. Ms.Na was still under some kind of influence a majority of the time, and she would still lunge at the small boy with the burning cigarettes in her grasp, but at least it was declining a bit thanks to the constant intrusion of the equally-delirious man who claimed to be a bartender— although Jaemin was convinced that he was actually unemployed. 

There were several red flags pointing out of the guy, but Jaemin ignored them. Even if he dared to say anything to his mother in suspicion, he'd be scolded or told that he needs to respect those older than him. He had learned this from various experiences— all playing out the same way.

As for Jeno, that department of his life was still experiencing a drought. However, the older had tried to talk to him in class, speaking as if nothing had ever happened between them. When Jaemin would sit down and get ready to work on their project, Jeno would begin smiling and pop out with some kind of generic 'how are you doing?' greeting that made the blonde want to yell in frustration and call him stupid. 

To say that Lee Jeno was confusing was a massive understatement, he was absolutely fucking with Jaemin's head. One second, he was cold and turned a harsh shoulder towards the younger, and the next, he would pretend that everything was fine— even when it clearly wasn't. 

So Jaemin had no choice but to ignore him. Anytime Jeno would open his mouth, Jaemin would shut down and tune his senses into somewhere else— anywhere else. After a while, Jeno would stop trying to get his attention and work on his own half of their invention.

He didn't want to erase the brunette from his life forever, but he also didn't want to surround himself with people who wouldn't be honest with him. He deserved better than that— or at least that's what Donghyuck and Renjun told him whenever he came to them to rant about the situation a few days ago. 

It was somewhat refreshing actually, being able to share how you felt with other people, people who could listen and answer with their best advice. Jaemin didn't let himself get too comfortable with them out of fear of losing more friends, but he discarded just enough of the burden to be able to stand things as they were currently. 

He wasn't ready to trust them, but he'd definitely try to keep them close for a bit longer.

—

Jaemin stands near the entrance of the school and checks the time on his phone as he waits for Donghyuck and Renjun to catch up so that the three of them could walk together on their way to get ice cream. It felt foreign, the act of hanging out with friends, but Jaemin didn't necessarily mind it one bit. He smiled upon the thought of being included in something for once. 

When he looks back up away from the screen at the sound of someone approaching, he's met with the sight of a familiar boy walking closer, a sad and lost expression cast over his sharp features. He looks somewhat nervous as well, but Jaemin dismisses that part— it was probably just anxiety that his teammates would catch him over here next to the notorious sticker boy and then proceed to tease the hell out of him. He couldn't blame Jeno for stepping back in public. 

Jeno appeared awfully distraught these days. He would come to school in a hoodie and jeans, pulling the hood over his face for as long as he could without a teacher getting onto him. His dark circles were getting even worse than they had been two weeks ago, and his skin looked terrible for what was probably the first time in his entire life.

"Jaemin." He calls out, staring at said boy with deep pools of sincerity swimming within his eyes. "I really need to talk to you, do you have time?" He asks, fiddling with his thumbs inside the big pocket on the front of the red hoodie. 

Jaemin heels his heart sink deeper back into the cavity of his chest upon having to directly face the boy. His knees buckle as he stays silent, unsure of what to say. He wanted to shout out a resounding 'yes', grabbing Jeno's hand and pulling him away to where they could speak peacefully without interference of the outside world. 

He doesn't get the chance.

"Jaemin! Are you ready to go?" Donghyuck smiles from ear to ear as he practically skips over to the two, slinging an arm around Jaemin's shoulders when he's close enough, leaning on him gently. "I tried to get Renjun to hurry but you know how slow he can be sometimes. He's like— a sloth or something." He laughs. 

A fuming Renjun approaches the trio from behind, drastically weighed down by both his bag and Donghyuck's own. "Hey," he huffs, trying to simultaneously catch his breath, "carry your own shit. You forgot it back there in our last class."

Donghyuck looks the smaller boy up and down, stifling a laugh. "I didn't forget, I just wanted you to carry it for me— and you did. I knew I could trust my little goon." He cheers, reaching out to pat Renjun's head.

Renjun's lips slip into a thin, unamused line. He stands in place gaping at the younger male before throwing the heavy backpack on top of Hyuck's feet, to which the latter nearly drops to the ground, whining and moaning dramatically at the 'pain' from the impact. Renjun snickers happily.

Jaemin stands awkwardly amongst the exchange with Jeno's gaze drilling into him. He felt like he was nailed to the floor under the tension that enclosed the two ever so tightly. He would have expected Jeno to leave by now, but he doesn't, and instead only tries to get closer.

"Can you come with me for just a second? I promise it won't take long." Jeno pleads. "I can't seem to get a moment alone with you in class, but this is important." He continues to urge, seething desperation. 

When Jaemin still doesn't answer, Jeno clutches on to his arm, preparing to pull him off to the side when Renjun interjects, prying Jeno's fingers off of his friend. Jeno is taken slightly aback, his arm falling to his side when the shortest of the four begins to grow aggravated with him.

"Don't touch him." Renjun snaps, his eyebrows furrowing as his voice drops to be as intimidating as possible for a soft-sounding guy like himself. "Obviously Jaemin doesn't want to talk to you, so it'd be much appreciated if you could just move along, yeah?"

"Renjun I-"

"No." Renjun interrupts, rather frustrated at his persistence. He had seen Jaemin cry over Jeno far too many times in the limited period they had been friends, he really didn't want that to continue. "We're busy, and you have to get home I assume. That being said, have a nice day, Jeno."

Jeno flicks his vision between each of the three boys, awaiting some kind of input from the other two— but it's never granted. Instead, Donghyuck clears his throat, still attached to Jaemin's hip from the side with a small grin.

"Bye, Jeno." He waves goodbye at last. 

And they walk away. 

Once the friends are gone, Jeno sighs heavily and kicks one of the nearby lockers— upset with himself and his actions. Seeing Jaemin lock down like that made his stomach churn. It was ominous, and he didn't like it one bit. He wanted to see Jaemin smile again, which is why he took up Daeshim's offer in the first place— but it wasn't working like he had intended. If anything, Jaemin seemed more upset now.

It was technically his fault. He had told Jaemin to stay away from him, but it was for good reason. The younger was starting to get bullied less, and Jeno would like to believe that was enough to keep him content— but it wasn't.

He missed the cute dialogue they exchanged or the way they'd sometimes lock eyes only to burst into a chorus of laughter. Jaemin made him happy, and he was certain that the want to salvage their friendship was mutual. 

This made Jeno want to take steps forward in order to apologize and explain why he grew so detached in such a short amount of time, but Na Jaemin wasn't making it any easier for him.

That seemed to be a reoccurring theme these days.

He had to make it up to Jaemin, somehow. He wasn't sure what his plan would consist of, but he would start by first letting him know how sorry he was. 

If only he could get an opportunity to do so, he would take it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes it’s the ones you’d least expect + jeno gets an idea

"Hey Renjun." Jeno stands behind said boy, clutching the straps of his backpack in the center of the musty classroom. The other kids left the room only seconds prior, meaning that he finally got the opening he had been waiting for the entire day. 

The two had just completed their one shared class together for the day, so Jeno took it upon himself to utilize this moment as the perfect chance to ask Renjun for some help regarding the glorious 'apologize-to-Jaemin' agenda he was striving for. Everything was lining up well.

"Hm?" Renjun looks up from his bent over state while putting away his materials into the bag seated beside his desk. "Oh, just a second, Jeno. I'm kind of busy with something right now." He chuckles lightly, seemingly in no hurry at all. It began to annoy Jeno as he stood there, tapping his foot impatiently. The next bell would ring in five minutes, so he didn't have all the time in the world. 

Jeno glances over to the window on the furthest side of the classroom, peering outside while waiting for the small Chinese boy in front of him to stand back up. He was anxious— not because Daeshim would catch on to him deliberately breaking their promise— but because he knew there was only a slim chance Renjun would hear him out. However, it was worth a shot, at least more so than continuing to be ignored by Jaemin.

He tried to gain Jaemin's attention for the past week or so, but to absolutely no avail. He even went as far as to text the blonde for a few mornings in a row, just saying 'good morning' and then asking if they could speak later that day. Jaemin wouldn't respond to him no matter what he sent. Eventually, Jeno stopped texting because he didn't want to be blocked. 

Being fully aware of what would happen if his team caught him trying to contact Jaemin, Jeno was terrified. However, he was also aware that his agreement with them was harming Jaemin— even if he had new friends now— and he felt like at least an explanation was in order so that maybe, just maybe, Jaemin would understand and not take it personally. 

"Okay." Renjun stands up at last, slinging the backpack over one shoulder and gesturing for Jeno to follow him into the hallway. When he does, Renjun continues speaking. "So what did you need? Knowing you, I assume it's about Jaemin." He rolls his eyes off to the side where the younger can't see the action. 

"Yes, actually. I can't get through to Jaemin myself but I really want to talk to him, do you think that you can make that possible?" Jeno asks, sounding somewhat desperate as he stares at the boy next to him. "Please, I miss him." He adds for an extra touch, hoping to gain sympathy. 

"I can't make him talk to you if he doesn't want to." Renjun shrugs before opening his locker and pulling out the books for his next class. "Besides, he may not be the happiest right now but he's starting to get over it. You don't mean as much to him anymore, I'm sorry Jeno. He has friends who actually care about him now, so he doesn't need you."

Renjun's tone however, signaled that he wasn't sorry at all, in fact he sounded like a smartass standing there telling Jeno to knock it off. Jeno was slightly disheartened, but his determination couldn't be crushed that easily. His mom always told him that he gained his strong-will from his father, but also warned that it could be dangerous in some situations, but Jeno didn't see how.

"Look Renjun, I know that I was kind of stupid, but I really regret it and I at least want to make sure he doesn't hate me." Jeno explains, tugging on the strings of his hoodie absentmindedly. "Can't you just talk to him and see if he'd be willing to hear me out? It would mean a lot to me."

"Why should I do that?" Renjun turns to face Jeno with an annoyed expression, a small frown taking place across his features. "You had your chance of getting close to him and you blew it. You're not good for Jaemin, so please, I will ask you respectfully one more time to lay off of it. Donghyuck and I will be by his side, so you don't have to worry. 

Donghyuck... wasn't that the weird kid who kept harassing Mark in gym? Calling his legs 'pasty' and whatnot?

"How do you know what's best for him? You've known him for only a few weeks now and think you're best friends with the guy." Jeno scoffs, wanting time pull out his hair in frustration. 

"You don't know either, so stop acting like some kind of superhero. You fought one guy for him and then act like you're the most important figure in his life. Well guess what? You're not, and neither am I. The only person who Jaemin should have to listen to is himself, and unless he decides to befriend you again, I shouldn't interfere. It's a decision that he has to make on his own." Renjun shoots back, hugging the books to his small chest while taking a defensive stance. "I'm here to support him and be his friend, not his guardian, so I don't understand why you're coming to me in the first place."

Jeno falls silent, knocked speechless when he realizes that Renjun was right. If he wanted to start over with Jaemin, he had to talk to him directly, not through a third party with no say in what Jaemin did. Even if Jaemin was dismissing Jeno's attempts— that wasn't on Renjun to fix.

As if on cue, Jaemin approaches the pair— though, unsurprisingly, choosing not to acknowledge Jeno— and asks Renjun if he's ready to get to class. Renjun nods his head with a smile and begins to walk away from the jock next to his locker, exchanging quiet words with Jaemin on his way out.

"Is that a star sticker on the back of your hand today?" Jeno hears Renjun inquire with a giggle. "It's cute, Jaem." He coos.

And that's when a light bulb flashes over Jeno's head.

—

"Thanks for bringing me here, Yeri." Jaemin smiles halfheartedly, picking up his cup and sipping down the coffee that's color seemed to resemble the endless void. School had just let out, so there was a rush of students in the local mall, but neither cared too much, they wouldn't let it stop them from bonding. "I'm sorry it's been so long since we've been able to do anything together, I've just been kind of busy." He sets the cup back down and looks at the table. 

"It's alright, Nana. As long as you're doing well, that's all I care about." Yeri crosses her arms in her lap and beams at him warmly, sitting back in her seat. "Are you sure you don't want to try a piece of this muffin? It's delicious."

Yeri raises a knife to cut into the chocolate pastry, slicing off a bite and handing it to her friend a couple feet in front of her. Jaemin accepts and gladly eats it, humming in delight when the sweet taste melts within his mouth. He gives a thumbs-up in validation of the taste, to which the girl giggles happily.

"So how have you been? I know things were pretty hectic not too long ago, and I'm sorry I couldn't help you." Yeri leans over the table, offering Jaemin a napkin to wipe the corners of his mouth. "I swear, it seems like my teachers collaborate and put all of my tests within the same week."

"Don't worry about it." Jaemin holds up a palm to display reassurance as he shakes his head. "I'm fine, but how are you? We haven't had the chance to catch up since you told me about your aunt in the hospital. Is she feeling better?"

Jaemin listens intently while Yeri rants and raves about how her life had been over the course of the past month. He loved his little chats with her, especially those shared over coffee and deserts. Sure, he felt somewhat guilty because she was covering the price of everything, but Yeri had told him several times that she was more than happy to pay the bill. 

Despite being unavailable most of the time, Yeri was probably the one person Jaemin knew he could truly talk to about whatever he wanted— and she would listen. Jaemin had a preset rule that everyone in your life would put you through pain, but she was the one exception. Hence why he never understood why she settled as low as to date such douches— but that wasn't his business. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Jaemin catches sight of a tall athlete making his way over to the two. His heart sinks to his stomach when he decodes the face to make it out as Daeshim, who by the way, is somehow still seeing Yeri despite his obvious attitude problems and questionable behavior.

Jaemin clears his throat, wanting to exit the scene as quickly as possible. "Hey Yeri, I'm going to go use the bathroom." He announces, to which she waves off the male without a second thought and tells him to hurry back before his drink gets cold.

The head of blonde hair scurries passed the various department stores, his feet barely skimming the tiles on the floor as he rushes to a nearby bathroom, not wanting to come face to face with Daeshim. When he reaches the restroom, he's lucky enough for it to be empty. Jaemin sighs in relief, leaning against the counter and taking a few moments to just breathe. 

That was awfully close.

He knew that he was punk for avoiding Daeshim like that, but quite frankly, he didn't care about being dubbed a wimp if it meant he'd be able to ensure his own safety. 

With that, Jaemin digs his phone out of his pocket and internally debates on whether it would be an appropriate time to call Renjun or not. He didn't want to leave the bathroom by himself, as he didn't know what would be awaiting him outside, but he also didn't want to bother his friend. 

In the end, he calls Renjun and stands in the corner of the room while waiting for the older to answer the phone. It takes several rings, but after a while, he hears the soft voice resonate through the other end of the line.

"Jaemin? What's up?"

"Hey, do you think you can come to the mall bathroom? I was with Yeri and her boyfriend showed up, I ran off and now I'm kind of stuck in here unless I want to risk it." Jaemin explains, glancing at the tiny flower pot next to the row of sinks which displayed a beautiful, bright daisy smiling at him. "I'm sorry if I called you at a bad time, I just—"

"No, it's okay." Renjun clears his throat. "I'm kind of held up at the moment, but my cousin is actually at the mall right now, would it be okay if I send him? His name is Chenle. He's taller than me, in the year below us, orange hair, and he should be with his boyfriend right now if I'm not mistaken. You'll get along with them well though."

"That's fine." Jaemin replies, curling the fingers of his left hand into his palm, fighting the temptation to chew on his bottom lip or just break down in general.

"Great, I'll call him then. Talk to you in a bit." 

"Thank you, bye." He hangs up the phone before sliding it back into the pocket of his pants. 

Jaemin waits nervously, standing awkwardly in place with his lower half pressed into the counter. He couldn't believe he actually allowed Yeri to take him somewhere and expected everything to turn out okay. By this point, Jaemin expected himself to be smarter than that. He felt foolish for letting himself loose for once.

A few minutes later, two boys enter the bathroom chatting up a storm amongst themselves. One had a deeper voice, but the other's was light and comical in a sense, sounding joyful. They both looked younger than Jaemin, and they were holding hands. Jaemin thought it was rather weird to be that close in a public bathroom, but he wasn't going to judge— hey, as long as they were happy, right?

Jaemin's eyes widen when he realizes that the taller of the two was basketball player, Park Jisung. His faded, purple hair and round specs were unmistakable, and the fact that the other boy was wearing his letterman jacket only made things even more painfully obvious. 

"Is this the right one?" Jisung asks upon entrance into the dimly-lit room, being trailed behind the older. "We've checked three bathrooms already, and we can't find this dude."

"Honey, you can literally see him standing there. I'm pretty sure this is the right one." Chenle squeezes Jisung's hand with a giggle and gestures towards Jaemin standing in the corner.

"Who- O-oh shit." Jisung freezes and lets go of Chenle's hand when he notices Jaemin staring at him. If Jisung were a dog, he would have stuck his tail between his legs in that moment. His relationship and sexuality had been a complete secret for the past two years, and this was the first time Chenle and Jisung had been found out by anyone other than their families. Even worse, by someone he wasn't on good terms with. "Um." He stammers, unsure of what to say.

"Jisung? You know him?" Chenle raises an eyebrow in question, curious as to why his boyfriend shut down all of a sudden. 

As for Jaemin, he was convinced for the longest time that Jisung was as homophobic as his friends— seeing him as Chenle's boyfriend was definitely not what he expected at all. Every time Daeshim stood in the hallway and shouted disgusting slurs at Jaemin, Jisung would always be close by following the senior's word. If he was taking it to heart as well— why didn't he say anything?

"Kind of? I'll explain later." Jisung rubs the back of his neck shyly. "It's not important right now."

"Okay..." Chenle chooses to disregard that can of worms for now, and instead readjusts his focus onto the reason they were brought here in the first place. "Anyways, hello Jaemin. I'm Chenle, Renjun's cousin. This is my boyfriend, Jisung, but I guess you two already know each other somehow..."

"It's nice to meet you, Chenle." Jaemin speaks for the first time since the two appeared in front of him and holds out a hand, offering it to the orange-headed boy.

"Ditto." Chenle smiles, eyes tracing over the broad collection of colorful shapes on Jaemin's arm as he completes the handshake. "Those are so adorable, I love them!"

Jaemin is somewhat surprised by Chenle's sudden exclamation and grows timid. The room falls to silence, and everyone exchanges confused looks.

"So what do you guys want to do?" Jisung suddenly jumps in, attempting to break the ice. "Are we just taking Jaemin home?" He tilts his head slightly, trying to appear less awkward than how he felt on the inside.

"I think it'd be nice to hang out with him for a bit." Chenle comments, turning his head to look at the taller with a hopeful gaze. "Don't you, babe?" He leans in, pressing a swift smooch to the round of Jisung's cheek and then pulling away with a low 'mwah' sound.

"But Lele, we were supposed to catch a movie this evening!" Jisung frowns as he complains, ignoring the rising blush that blooms over his cheeks as a result of his boyfriend's public display of affection. They were never lovey-dovey out in the open, but when they were, Jisung was easily flustered.

"He can come with us!" Chenle proposes, seeming very optimistic and sweet in comparison to Jaemin's own friends. Jaemin enjoyed the shift in energy. 

"I wouldn't want to impose—" Jaemin speaks up, worried, only to be cut off.

"Nonsense! Jisung is just whiny because he hasn't been sleeping well." Chenle laughs and rests a soft hand on his boyfriend's back, treating him as if he were a giant baby. "It'll be a lot of fun, I promise."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> friends? friends. maybe friends will be our always

Jaemin spent the entire evening with Chenle and Jisung that night, bonding with the boys and talking about the movie they had seen. The pair were actually cute together and fun to be around, hence why Jaemin's little heart was warmed the entire time he watched Chenle poke the small pieces of golden popcorn into his boyfriend's lips throughout the entirety of the film.

He didn't want to interfere with what could quite possibly have been a date for them, so Jaemin sat three seats away in the theater. Chenle leaned forward not too long afterwards in his chair and looked down the row to ask if Jaemin was alright being so far away— he nodded of course. After that, they seemed to almost forget that he was there at all.

When Jaemin returned home, he turned on his phone to find various missed calls from Yeri, but being as tired as he was, he simply shrugged it off and made an internal promise to reply later— which he didn't, by the way.

Jaemin chuckled to himself, piecing together that maybe that's why he never had many friends. Friends were so high maintenance and hard to keep up with— what could he do? Not to mention that you actually had to put forth effort to balance out the relationship, and quite frankly, who could be bothered? Of course many other factors played into why Jaemin was relatively lonely, but his lack of motivation was surely one of the key explanations that he often overlooked. 

However, some people were persistent enough to break through his closed-off exterior. Those who would try again and again to be close to him despite Jaemin pulling away. After brief contemplation, he cane to the conclusion that Lee Jeno was definitely one of those types. It was especially evident during times like this—

"—Good morning, Nana!" A strong hand is placed upon Jaemin's thin shoulder with a pat, greeting him first thing into the day. Jaemin discretely rolls his eyes in response, dreading the sudden encounter. It was Monday morning, meaning that he had no interest in being here, and the intrusion of a loud, cheerful voice didn't make anything better. "How did you sleep last night?"

"Fine, thanks."

Jaemin decides to keep things short, somehow formulating that if he didn't interact, the older would leave without much else to say. He still didn't think he was ready to face Jeno, especially since both Renjun and Donghyuck had advised him not too only yesterday. 

Jeno had other plans.

He feels his heart bloom when Jaemin talks to him for the first time in what felt like forever. Today was the day he was going to make up with Jaemin. So far, things looked promising. He thought about it a lot, spending an entire weekend in his head while trying to piece together how to receive forgiveness, and finally came up with a foolproof plan.

The older boy releases a triumphant smile, digging a glass bottle of iced coffee out of his hoodie pocket. "I got you something." He coos, placing it in front of Jaemin, which gains the latter's attention and causes him to perk his head up from the chilled table surface.

Jaemin grabs the bottle and pulls it closer to himself. It was still cold, probably from Jeno's refrigerator, and was also the usual flavor and brand he bought at the gas station on the rare occasion that he had enough money. He didn't know what exactly the whole 'iced coffee' thing was about, but he knew that he had received more of them from Jeno in the past month than he had purchased for himself in the last year.

"Hey, will you come to the bathroom with me for a second?" Jeno suddenly speaks up after things fall silent once again. He wanted to get out of here with Jaemin before his other friends showed up, which would be any minute now. The clock was ticking, and it was either now or never.

"Excuse me?" Jaemin's eyes nearly pop out of their sockets at the suggestive-sounding request. Nonetheless, he starts to blush a deep red, and not out of anger. "Jeno I don't know what you think of me but that's—"

"No!" Jeno exclaims, slapping his palm over his own mouth and wishing that he could eat up his words. He too, grows flustered upon Jaemin's interpretation. "Look, just follow me, it's not anything like that. Bring your backpack too."

"Fine." Jaemin says, standing up and following Jeno out of the cafeteria. 

Together, they shuffle through the small crowd of tired, hunch-backed students. Jaemin finds it somewhat difficult to keep up, as Jeno was much more athletic and swift than him. Within moments, they're filtering into an empty bathroom located in one of the more abandoned hallways. Jaemin assumed the older chose this one because nobody else would be over here this early— which secretly frightened him.

"So what do you need?" Jaemin asks, watching the brunette pace across the tiled floor, looking distressed. 

Jeno stops and tilts his chin upwards, locking eyes with the other boy across the room. 

"...Can I have a sticker?"

Jaemin feels something within him spark at Jeno's question, and he can't help but let his eyebrows scrunch down into a deep furrow. For a second, he couldn't tell if he had misheard Jeno or if this was actually happening— but he found the first option much more likely considering recent events.

"Can you... what?" Jaemin asks with a step backwards, wanting to see if his ears truly fooled him. He stands there absolutely dumbfounded, looking at Jeno as if he had just told him that he was secretly a crab in human skin. That's how absurd he sounded. 

"Do you have a sheet on you right now?" Much to Jaemin's surprise, Jeno begins to strip off his outer layer of clothing, revealing a plain, white shirt underneath that fell off his shoulders and cascaded over the slim form disguised underneath. Jaemin was speechless, but is knocked back into reality when Jeno returns the stare he had been holding. The fan swirls above them and provides the only noise able to be heard for a while. 

"Well— yeah—" He stammers at last, trying to remain composed through the sheer confusion. "I always do, but what do you need it for?" He chuckles nervously, prying his eyes off of Jeno's body to the best of his ability— which, for the record, wasn't much.

Was this some kind of joke? Jeno acting like a complete dick out of nowhere and then thinking it'd be amusing to confront Jaemin with dumb questions such as 'can I have a sticker?' Well, Jaemin wasn't getting a kick out of it at all, in fact, the motion offended him if it really was for Jeno's entertainment. He wouldn't treat it so lightly if he knew why the younger used stickers in the first place— or maybe he would, Jaemin couldn't be sure of anything anymore. 

"To wear them, silly." Jeno replies as if it's the most obvious thing in the world, the sparkle laced in his eyes teasing Jaemin while he hangs his hoodie over one of the stall doors in the meantime. 

"What?"

Jaemin had no idea what was going on, but he was strangely invested in the situation at this point— whether by choice or not. Within the past year or so he'd been covering up burn marks with the colorful array of characters and shapes, he received nothing but taunts in regards to them, and now Jeno wanted to borrow some? He was suspicious, but for good reason.

"Just trust me please." Jeno requests, practically begging at this point. Jaemin was waiting for him to burst out into laughter, waited for him to turn around and walk away while leaving Jaemin behind, waited for him to sneer in his face and fell him that he was kidding— but he doesn't do that. Something that was etched deep in his featured screamed sincerity.

However, Jaemin wasn't letting his guard down that easily. 

"Do you remember how that turned out last time?" He snaps back without missing a beat, leaving Jeno slightly stunned at the influx of attitude. For someone so sensitive, Jaemin surely had a sharp tongue when he wanted. 

Jeno ponders what to do now. He didn't expect it to be this hard, but thinking back, he probably should have. After all, Jaemin had been ignoring him for a while, so it's no secret that he's been upset. This was Jeno's plan to get Jaemin to give him a second chance, but how could Jeno do that when he was so resistant to his effort?

Jeno wouldn't give up. Lee Jeno always got what he wanted, after all. That was an unspoken rule.

"Ok look— just let me borrow a sheet, I'll buy you a new one, I promise." Jeno bargains, lifting one of his arms from his side to extend a single pinkie in the direction of the blonde, hoping that it would boost his credibility. That was all he needed right now. "What do you say?"

Jaemin stays silent. He doesn't know what to say. Like a deer in headlights, he glares down at the limb reaching out to him, seemingly afraid to get too close to it— nonetheless touch it. He's on the verge of walking out of the bathroom when his eyes flick upwards from the pale skin to view Jeno's bright, beautiful smile shining down on him. Suddenly, his heart starts beating faster, and his breath is cut short. He had already lost. 

The skinnier of the two sighs at last, reaching out and entangling the small finger with his. Jeno giggles a bit, basking in victory while Jaemin spins on his heels and throws his bag on the ground, bending at the waist to unzip it. He rummages through his backpack and pulls out a pack of stickers, reluctantly handing them to Jeno with a scowl. 

Jeno opens the pack, scanning over the areas of figures that are missing. He flips through the booklet until stumbling across a full sheet, which he then rips out with a mumbled 'this will do.' Jaemin stays still while the older purses his lips in concentration.

"Can you help me put them on? I can't get the back of my neck." 

"Are you okay? Do you have a fever?" Jaemin finally inquires, genuinely concerned for Jeno's obviously delirious state. Lending him the stickers alone felt like a stretch, but now he wanted Jaemin's assistance? This boy was out of his damn mind.

"I'm more than okay, Nana. I'm great, now help me." He reassures, adding in that sweet nickname for extra persuasion points. It was Jaemin's weak spot, so of course he had no choice but to cave in now, folding under Jeno's charm. 

Jaemin comes closer to the older boy, peeling off one of the yellow cat stickers from the sheet in Jeno's hand and placing it on his wrist. Jeno moves along as well, covering his arms and neck with dots and clouds— whatever there was available. Jaemin has to try his hardest to fight back a chuckle when Jeno lays an upside-down smiley face on the base of his throat with an unbothered expression, unable to determine direction on himself. 

When there's only one left, Jaemin takes it upon himself to rip the sticker off of the sticker sheet and place the small, pink heart right in the center of Jeno's right cheek, an inch or two lower than his eye. Jeno grins, quite satisfied with himself, and admires the boy helping him. Jaemin was— undeniably— very pretty. His features were so delicate and angelic. If he were a girl, Jeno could totally see himself pining him like a lovestruck puppy.

"Why are you doing this?" Jaemin suddenly breathes out, his hand lingering on Jeno's face. He was still unsure about everything. This felt weird, but part of him— liked it? Seeing Jeno be so determined to patch things up that he'd go as far as to copy Jaemin's entire brand for the day, it was flattering in an odd yet endearing sense. 

Jeno grabs Jaemin's fragile hand in his own, taking note of how shaky it was, and tries to warm it in his grasp. "Jaemin, listen to me. I regret how I acted for a while there. Ignoring you and everything... I didn't want to. This stays between us, but Daeshim told me he'd leave you alone if I didn't hang around you. Please don't hate me, I just don't want to see you hurt." He confesses, hanging his head forward in guilt. "But I decided that if I'm really going to be your friend, I should directly protect you rather than stay away, Im sorry."

Jaemin wanted to pinch himself to check if he was dreaming. Jeno really wasn't kidding, he was just worried. He was about to melt, growing sappy among Jeno's words that seemed to float around him in the air.

"Nono..." Jaemin blushes at the contact of his fingers being pressed between Jeno's palms. "You should have told me that from the beginning. I was genuinely afraid I did something to push you away."

His voice is soft, so soft that Jeno is convinced it will break with another longing second. He trembles a bit on the inside, disappointed in himself for letting their misunderstanding occur for so long. 

"I swear that's not true, come here." Jeno opens his arms lovingly, wrapping them around the frame that pushes into him moments later. Jaemin was hesitant, but Jeno could tell that being held meant so much to him. Even though they were the same height, Jaemin felt much tinier. It might've been because he was so thin and bony, but the comparison made the older somewhat scared to grab on too tight— like Jaemin would break.

He was similar to a doll, nice to look at, maybe a little cracked here and there, but also requiring a great amount of care to prevent it from being broken by someone careless. 

"Friends again?" Jeno speaks after some time, rubbing Jaemin's back in a smooth rhythm. He knew that classes would be starting soon, so he had to wrap this up quick. 

Jaemin pulls back and wipes a strand of brown hair out of Jeno's eyes to which the latter blinks, creating a domino effect as Jaemin snickers. 

"Friends." He confirms with a small smile. "But don't get so used to being able to hug me, Jeno. I'm going to be extra cautious from now on. If you want my trust, you'll have to earn it— even if it was just miscommunication, okay?"

The bell rings as the larger nods his head in understanding, and Jeno knows it's going to be a long day for him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> friendly consultation

Jeno walks down the hallway to his second class that morning— gym. Despite the questionable looks he received since the first bell rang, Jeno's head was held high, unaffected by the whispers whirling around him. Jeno was never one to let what others think take a toll on him, which he was thankful for at that moment.

The entire first period was spent with other students drilling their glares into Jeno's skin, trying to decipher the reason as to why the junior was covered from head to toe (more like head to wrist) in the grossly adorable stickers that only one other boy in the school was known for. Of course, they figured it had something to do with the love letter on Jeno's locker the other week, but nobody could be sure.

Jeno was— surprisingly comfortable in the tiny labels stuck to him. He didn't know how to explain it, but they made him feel unique. It was more of a symbolism thing to him, an outlet for Jeno to show that he's not afraid to be himself no matter what others may make out of it. He felt confident. 

After all, his friend, Jaemin, meant more to him than people he had never even spoken to before— which was surprisingly quite a large chunk of his peers. 

Jeno turns on his heels and makes a sharp left into the gymnasium, workout clothes nestled in between his pale arms. Inside, several kids were already half-naked and changing into their proper attire, just like any normal day. However, once Jeno enters the room, the commotion settles and everyone turns to face him, confusion splattered across their judgmental features.

Mark, who was receiving help to open one of the small lockers and being made fun of by that Donghyuck kid for getting it jammed again, looks especially blank. In fact, he's struck so surprised that his mouth visibly slips into a circular shape as he gapes at the younger boy. In only a few motions, he hops sets his bag down on the bench and grabs Jeno' arm tightly, forcing him into the shower area. 

Chatter starts to arise in the main part of the locker room once again with the disappearance of the two boys. Around the corner, Jeno scrunches his nose in disgust at the moisture hanging around the two, finding the wet state nasty. Mark would usually whine about it as well, but that was probably the last thing on his mind right now. 

"Are you crazy?!" Mark asks with a shrill tone, trying his best to keep his voice low— which only proves itself to be difficult with his words bouncing off the walls to create a series of echos. "When Daeshim sees you he's going to fucking kill you— and probably me for not telling him! What the hell is all of this," he looks Jeno up and down, "about?"

Jeno clears his throat, pushing Mark away a bit with the palms of his hands on the older's shoulder's. "I made up with Jaemin this morning and I'm doing this as a means to let people know I'm on his side. Any more questions? Or are you going to let me get dressed?"

"You've really lost it." Mark scoffs, stepping back and rolling his eyes. "Look, I know I'm your best friend and all but this is a little ridiculous. If anything, this is only going to make things worse for him. This will start more rumors and— did you even think this through? Jeno you're literally throwing him into the lion's pit by being close to him."

"Then I'll tell them not to mess with him. Jaemin's a fucking person too, Mark. I can't just be his friend when it's convenient for me. He has feelings, just like you or me. I don't see why this is so hard for you to understand." Jeno defends, placing his hands on his hips and sharpening his eyes. 

If looks could kill— well let's just say Mark's friends and family would be pulling black out of their closet about now. Even if he was born a year earlier, Mark was still skinnier than Jeno, which would put him at a big disadvantage if the two were to ever get into a physical fight. Jeno was naturally muscular, but the fact that he was a basketball player on top of that only made him stronger. 

"Why do you want to be friends with him so bad anyways? Especially now that he has other people to hang out with. What's so important about you trying to salvage some kind of friendship?"

That's when it hits Jeno.

Admittedly, he didn't know.

Out of the whole time he had spent scheming on how to get closer to the blonde, he never actually stopped to ask himself what his motivation was. Jaemin was kind and soft, but so were a lot of other kids in his classes. For some reason, Jaemin specifically had a way of drawing him in. 

Jaemin wasn't like everyone else, though, he was special. He was so much more interesting than anyone else Jeno had met, and not to mention the garden of pretty garden of flowers that would bloom within him every time the younger smiled at him. He shined bright like the sun, standing out more than anyone else no matter where he was. 

It was weird, but Jeno found himself constantly lost in thoughts of Jaemin as of recent. It was like he had been captivated by him. He just couldn't shake away the feeling of joy he received being around Jaemin and knowing that he was safe. Not even his closest friends affected him in that way, so why Jaemin? He had no clue.

Then suddenly, Jeno realizes...

Is this what a crush feels like?

Having a crush on someone— is it like longing to see them as often as you can? Or wishing that you could hold them in your arms and do everything in your power to make them happy, because you know they deserve it? Was a crush supposed to make your heart rush and knock you off your feet with every stunning look? Jeno pondered, weighing different factors to find his answer.

His answer which came to a resounding yes.

When Jeno takes too long to respond, Mark shakes his head with a sigh, his expression softening. "I tried to warn you, Jeno. I'm just— worried about you and how different you are now. I don't want you trying to fix something or somebody that you can't. Please be careful."

"I will, Mark. Don't worry about me." Jeno reassures his friend with a small smile and a pat on the back as the two make their way back over to the other boys.

—

Jaemin clutches the sides of his tray as his feet lead him directly to his lunch table off to the side of the large, musty cafeteria. Lucky for him, Renjun and Donghyuck were already seated, chatting away as they waited for their third friend.

"—And then he told me to leave him alone." Donghyuck finishes his story, sounding stressed as Jaemin sits down beside him. "I mean can you believe that? After everything I've done for him? Like you know... not beat his ass?"

"Hyuck, guess what?" Renjun removes the lid off of his lunch brought from home, taking out the sandwich inside and gripping it tightly. Donghyuck tilts his head, waiting for the older to continue. "I still don't care." The black-haired boy remarks, visibly on his last straw in terms of being able to tolerate Donghyuck today. 

Donghyuck frowns, unable to process why none of his friends wanted to open their ears to him. "He wouldn't treat me like this..." The boy mumbles under his breath, reaching out to his milk carton, hoping that it would drown his disappointment.

"Yes he would." Renjun laughs, unable to hold himself back, only pushing Hyuck further to the edge of his seat. The younger digs his fingertips into his palms, his agitation increasing tenfold with each breath Renjun wasted on his smartass replies. "You know damn well he'd just yell at you if you tried to make him sit through your dreadful storytimes."

"That was kind of harsh." Jaemin comments, reaching into his bag and pulling out the iced coffee he had received from Jeno earlier that morning. In an impressively swift fashion, he screws the cap off and drinks a quarter the bottle in only one swig. When his lips leave the edge of the glass, Jaemin grabs a napkin, wiping it across his mouth to clean up the remnants of the sweet liquid staining his skin. 

Donghyuck stares in awe as if the bottle were some kind of foreign invention he'd never seen before. "Where did you get that and how much are they?" He asks, ripping off half of his chocolate chip cookie and taking a big bite into it. "I didn't know they sold coffee at this cafeteria."

"They don't." He admits, looking down at the label wrapped around the container. "I got it from Jeno this morning before you guys showed up, he brought it for me."

Upon hearing this, Renjun's ears perk up, and he's fully engaged in the conversation. It was strange, almost like someone flipped a switch inside the tired boy and it instantly charged his batteries— bringing him back to life. However, the look on his face indicated that he wasn't happy about what was said prior.

"Speaking of which, I meant to ask you about that." Renjun wipes his fork down on one of Jaemin's unused napkins and promptly sets it in his lunchbox, his tone much more serious than when Jaemin had approached the two boys only a few minutes ago. "Are you and Jeno on good terms again— like— friends?"

Jaemin blinks, unsure of how to answer. Yes, he was— but he didn't want Renjun to know that. He was afraid the older would be disappointed to hear that the two were on speaking terms again after Renjun warned him multiple times not to get close to anyone on the basketball team. He said that they were all players and a waste of time. Jaemin couldn't help but wonder why he had that mindset, but he never dared to ask. 

Renjun has something against the sports team, and nobody could pinpoint the reason for it. Every time their posse would walk in the room, Renjun would be the first— and only— person to look away in disgust, not wanting to even think about the group of athletic boys. Jaemin could have joked that Renjun was allergic, and that's why he avoided them, but he figured it would be considered offensive if there was a legitimate explanation behind the behavior. So, he kept his mouth shut about it.

At last, he nods his head, wanting to keep their companionship based on honesty. It was the easiest and safest way to maintain healthy relationships, after all. As they say, honesty is the best policy. 

The boy across the table bites his lip, scanning through the crowd before resting on the boy covered in stickers— but not Jaemin— Lee Jeno, who was currently picking apart some questionable-looking macaroni and cheese while keeping to himself. All of the others seated with him minded their own business as well, absorbed in their own virtual worlds on their phones. 

"Okay look. I can't tell you what to do, but you should be careful, Jaem."

Jaemin has to fight the urge to roll his eyes when hearing the start of the same lecture for what was probably the fifth time in the past week. Renjun was only looking out for him, he was sure, but sometimes he felt a little too pushy for Jaemin's comfort. However, he still appreciated the intent. 

"I will be— I am. Don't sweat over it." Jaemin twirls the pasta on his tray, watching the lanky noodles fall over the sides of his fork and giggling when some of them fall, dragging the rest down with it. "I know that you care, but it'll be okay."

"Alright, if you say so."

"Guys! Oh my god he looked over here! Did you see that?! I told you he likes me."

"Donghyuck, shut up." Renjun groans.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> can someone take ME on a platonic smoothie date

Things start to calm down— whatever 'calm' may be. Jeno only wore stickers on that one day, as it was more of a statement than a fashion trend, but it was plenty enough to get Jaemin by his side once again. Their conversations were becoming more engaging and Jaemin was acting more talkative these days, not being afraid to express whatever crossed his mind around the older. Well, most of what crossed his mind.

Jeno was incredibly happy with how things were turning out. Jaemin stated in the bathroom that Jeno would have to win his trust this time around, but so far it was taking minimal effort. However, that didn't mean he wasn't willing to go out of his way for his friend.

Jaemin closes his locker, only to be met with a smiling boy standing behind it, holding on to his backpack straps like a jittery toddler. He's taken by surprise, but a good surprise.

"Hey Jaemin, want to go grab a smoothie?" Jeno's eyes were pulled up onto the shape of crescents, and as cute as it was, Jaemin can't help but jump at the sudden appearance. "I'll pay." He adds.

"Don't you have basketball practice?" Jaemin quirks an eyebrow, finding it strange how Jeno seemed to rarely attend practices these days. Wasn't that like— one of the main aspects of being a high school athlete? 

"I can just wake up early and go to morning practice tomorrow, my coach won't mind." Jeno purses his lips, turning his body to lay his back against the wall beside the locker and glancing up at the ceiling as he waits for Jaemin's reply impatiently.

"What about work?"

Oh right, Jeno's gas station job— which he quite honestly, despised. Having to show up to every day felt like a hassle, and barely any costumers would come in on his shift anyways. Truthfully, Jeno wouldn't have applied if it weren't for his father using it as a penalty for his disappointing grades. He wasn't doing terrible in school per se, but definitely worse than his parents expected from someone as 'intelligent' as himself. 

Growing up, Jeno was considered one of the 'gifted kids.' From a young age, he was placed in advanced classes. Jeno whined about it of course, knowing that a different education level meant being separated from his existing friends. Predictably, the Lee's refused to take that into consideration, saying that it would provide better opportunities for him in the future.

He was always on a tight leash in terms of being allowed to partake in a lot of normal childhood activities. Playdates were seldom, and sleepovers were out of the question entirely unless they were at a relative's house. They were rules set in stone that he grew to abide— for the most part.

One night, a couple years ago, Jeno got extra daring. He told his parents that he'd be staying at his cousin's house for the night, when in reality, he walked across town just to show up on Mark's doorstep. He was there for about three hours until his dad knocked on the front door, demanding that Jeno gets in the car as quick as possible. When Jeno got home that night, he was grounded for two months and wasn't allowed to leave the house unless it was for school— so not much different from the usual routine. 

That being said, Jeno was dead if his parents found out he was going to be clocking into work late that evening. Did he care though? Not really. 

"I'll go after we're done." Jeno shrugs loosely, gaze fixated behind Jaemin where kids were beginning to flood out of the building upon dismissal. 

"Lee Jeno, you're impossible." Jaemin sighs, stepping out and walking right past Jeno, leaving the latter to stand and observe. When he realizes that Jeno isn't following him, Jaemin spins to gape at him briefly, a small smirk etched into his lips. "Well? Aren't you coming? I don't know who's going to buy my smoothie if you don't."

Jeno's expression shifts instantly, and he starts to beam, his heart skipping in his chest while he trails behind the sticker-covered boy like a loyal puppy.

"I can't believe you're making me ditch Renjun though." Jaemin comments once Jeno is caught up. "I'll text him and cancel— but he's going to be so mad if he doesn't check his phone." He chuckles.

"Well that's his own fault then."

Jaemin wasn't usually the type of person to enjoy venturing outdoors. When he was walking by himself, the world felt large and isolated. It was scary having to face the thought of wandering around town with nobody by your side— but Jeno kept him entertained as the two marched from the school all the way to a local smoothie shop in the center of the downtown area. It was quite the hotspot for kids their age, especially in warmer weather, but it was still peaceful enough for Jaemin to manage. 

He would have loved to listen to whatever it was that Jeno was ranting about as Jaemin sipped continuously from the plastic straw clenched in between his pearly whites, but his mind was absolutely stranded in direct comparison to his physical state. 

Jaemin strolled along beside Jeno while looking directly at him, but his brain failed to comprehend anything the brunette was actually saying. Instead, he took his time appreciating the beautiful sunset that had started to burst across the sky just over the horizon.

It was gorgeous. A palette of warm and tropical colors weaved in and out of the puffy cloudy, painting the giant canvas that was the astrological roof above. Jaemin had always admired the natural masterpieces that were sunrises and sunsets, so much to the extent that he would often photograph the occurrences if he was lucky enough to get the chance. 

Jeno takes note of the life missing from Jaemin's expression and waves a slow hand in front of his face with a frown. "Hey, Nana, are you good? What are you looking at?" He asks, turning his head to try and spot what the younger was so focused on.

In response, Jaemin blinks himself back into reality, averting his gaze to the boy in front of him. "Sorry, I was looking at..." Jaemin points a steady finger towards the sun, "that."

"Oh, you like the sunset?" Jeno inquires, a smile forming on his face, along with an idea in his head. 

Jaemin nods. "It's pretty."

"Follow me."

Jaemin doesn't have time to question what's happening as Jeno takes off in a wide stretch down the sidewalk, expecting Jaemin to come along— so he does.

The two of them speedwalk around the various buildings and people shopping before they arrive at the entrance of the same park Renjun lead Jaemin to not too long ago. Jeno keeps moving at a steady pace, determined to climb one of the small hills inside the land— Jaemin tries his best to stay in tow. 

When Jeno stops, he moves out of the way and reveals a part on top of the hill where the trees were cleared and the sunset was clearly visible. Since the park was near the river, there was nothing in front of them other than a steep drop which ran into the water down below and the beautiful sun kissing the division line between earth and space. Jaemin grins in awe at the view, absorbing the hues reflecting on the pool of liquid. 

"I didn't even know this existed." Jaemin admits, his attention drawing back to the person who brought him here in the first place. "It's weird because I live so close by." 

"Sometimes the best things are hidden in front of you." Jeno sits on the ground, somewhat close to the land's drop-off. He pats the ground next to him with his free hand, the other still wrapped around his drink. "You just have to open your eyes and see them."

Jaemin takes a seat next to him, crossing his legs and putting the cup in the center of them, trying to balance it on the dirt. He then wipes his wet hands on the inside hem of his shirt, annoyed at the damp state.

"Hidden in plain sight, you know?" Jeno says, much quieter this time, joined by the chorus of a few birds chirping and flying over the river in their fixed pattern.

Jaemin feels his breath hitch, and he turns his head, half hopeful that he would make eye contact with Jeno, but he doesn't. The older is still squinting his eyes towards the sun with a smile on his face— adoring the scenery playing out in front of them.

"I gue—"

"—Hey can I try yours?" Jeno suddenly interrupts, staring down at Jaemin's lap. "You can try mine too if you want, I'm just curious about what it tastes like."

For a moment, Jaemin's blood runs cold, but then he feels the few droplets of water press through his pants and soak onto his inner thigh— and he's reminded of where his smoothie is. He gulps down the lump that had risen into the base of his throat and subtly offers Jeno a nod, grabbing the drink and handing it over to him. 

Jeno pulls the straw up to his lips and takes a long sip, humming in delight at the sweet string of chilled, mashed fruit entering his mouth. Jaemin watches as his cheeks start to become the same color as the watermelon inside the plastic, and he can't help but look away in embarrassment. Jeno however, is fully unaware.

"That's delicious!" Jeno exclaims, giving back the cup and wiping his mouth on the back of said boy's hand shamelessly. "Do you want to try mine now?" He holds out his order to Jaemin with a kind appearance.

"Sure." Jaemin accepts it and takes a brief drink, barely quick enough to get anything out of it, but the awkward tension clouding his head was enough for him to dismiss that concern for now. "It's good." He confirms. 

It gets quiet again, but it's a comfortable quiet. Jaemin shuts his eyes, wishing to take in life as it stood. For the first time in what was probably months, tranquility crashes in on his state of mind, leaving Jaemin to relax his shoulders in the sunshine as thoughts of good things take over.

Admittedly, it was challenging for Jaemin to ease into most situations. Anxiety was constantly roaring through his veins, causing the poor boy to overthink and spiral into a consistently freaked out mindset, using up any energy he had left for the day. It was exhausting, having to try and keep himself under control despite his concerns. Jaemin has seen many others go to the doctor for that kind of thing, but he could only dream of getting proper treatment. 

But when he was hanging out with Jeno, he felt secure. He wasn't sure as to why, considering that they hadn't even known each other that long, but something about the brunette had that hypnotizing effect on him, making him dazed and loopy— especially on the inside.

Lee Jeno was like a drug. Unfortunately, drugs can get addicting, and then you want more. So much more to the point where you feel the desire to drown yourself in your target, soaking up as much of them as possible and losing yourself in the process. Jaemin didn't think he was ready for positive emotions so strong, it scared him. Along with liking somebody came uncertainty on whether they like you too, or how things will turn out if they do— even the sound of it was overwhelming. 

Jeno, on the other hand, felt like he was on top of the world. To him, there was nothing better in his current life than being able to have cute little rendezvous with Jaemin after school. He didn't know— or care for that matter— whether he was falling or not, but he knew that he was glad at this moment in time. 

He could also see that Jaemin was struggling even if he didn't want to express it, and Jeno wanted to help. He didn't know how, but he wanted to raise some of the apparent burden off of Jaemin. Besides, he was too interesting to ignore anyways, how could Jeno be expected to stay away?

Subconsciously, a set of fingers graze lightly over Jaemin's hand on the grass, causing an electricity-induced shiver to shoot through the latter's spine. Jaemin flinches a bit, which startles Jeno and makes him pull his hand back. However, he doesn't get too far away before Jaemin reaches back out in a panicked state, retrieving Jeno's hand, intertwining it with his own fairy-like one. 

They may have looked rough, but Jeno's hands were just as soft as his. It was comparable to holding a flower on the bay, your hair being teased by the spring breeze— or huddling into a warm blanket on the middle of a snowy winter's night, attempting to get closer to the fireplace. Jeno's hands were warm and gentle, just like his heart. 

Jaemin can swear that his heart begins skipping beats when Jeno massages his knuckles with the pad of his thumb, but it doesn't last long, and Jeno's phone starts to ring. Jeno pulls yhe device out of his pocket and reads the caller ID, mentioning that it happened to be his mother. He then apologizes to Jaemin, proceeding to turn his back to him and answer the phone, face visibly burning. Though, Jaemin doesn't see it.

Minutes later, after leaving Jaemin with his own head for a while, Jeno hangs up, reluctantly raising to his feet and wiping the dirt from his pants.

"Hey I'm sorry, Jaemin, I've gotta go. My parents found out that I'm late to work, and they're hunting me down." He laughs, sounding slightly pained. "I'd like to walk you home, but they'll probably kill me if I don't get back now. Let's finish this another time, yeah?"

"Yeah..." Jaemin repeats, seemingly tense. The shade of the trees casts over his figure, making it harder to recognize how flushed his face had gotten within the past ten minutes. Thank god he was still on the ground, or else there was no way he'd be able to sustain stability. 

With that and a pat on the head, Jeno leaves.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this entire story has been so bittersweet so far also Lucas being a bub

Jeno somehow manages to drag himself out of bed earlier than usual the next morning in order to be able to attend morning practice. He hated their weight-lifting sessions at seven in the morning, but since he skipped last night, he had no choice but to get his ass out the door and get to school after minimal sleep.

If you were to ask Jeno what he was passionate about, basketball would probably reside near the bottom of the list. Truthfully speaking, Jeno didn't enjoy it near as much as everyone else. However, most of the males in his family that went to his high school all played basketball, so it would have been a shame to break tradition— according to his father.

Jeno would have preferred a more physically lax activity, like the debate team, for example, or even just student council. Both of which sounded far more entertaining than having to dribble a ball for a few hours on the daily. Unfortunately for Jeno, his body was almost the perfect build for sports, which only gave his family more reason to pressure him into athletics, not even asking once if that's what he wanted to do. Perhaps if they had— Jeno wouldn't be in such a grumpy mood this early into the day.

"Hey Jeno, where were you last night?" Lucas asks as he and Kunhang approach the boy from the side, seemingly coming from the bathroom with sweat rags around their necks and gym shorts cladding their long legs. Lucas, obviously not paying attention to the dark cloud hanging over Jeno's head, swings an arm around him. "Mark said that he stopped by the gas station and you weren't there either."

Kunhang, being the more observant one between the two, realizes how 'off' the younger seems. "Hey, are you alright? You look tired." He comments, trying his best to pry the tall boy off of Jeno with only a death glare. Being oblivious, Lucas smiles as he looks forward towards the direction of the locker room. 

"I'm fine, thanks." Jeno displays a lopsided half-smile, reassuring the concerned senior. "I was with Nana, I'm sorry I couldn't make it."

"Nana...?" Lucas questions to himself aloud in a quiet voice, the gears in his head turning while he tries to figure out who the brunette was referring to. 

"Daeshim was pissed when he realized you skipped practice." Kunhang's eyes widen as he recalls the scene from last night— which wasn't a pretty sight with one of their star players missing and all. "He said that he's going to make you run double the amount of laps as everyone else this evening."

"But don't worry!" Lucas cuts in, taking a few steps away and placing his hands on his waist with a puffed chest. "I'll run with you whether he likes it or not." He grins, honestly just wanting to boast with his athletic abilities.

Running with Lucas... did not sound appealing. At all. The older was extremely sturdy and had an amazing endurance, meaning that he could keep himself at a steady pace the entire time— which was good. But what wasn't so good was the fact that Lucas also loved to joke around and get a little too touchy on the track, not being afraid to jokingly shove his teammates off of the path and then apologize quicker than most speed rappers could spit a line. 

The boy was full of love to give, but in an aggressive love type of way. It almost made Jeno wonder how in the world Lucas befriended someone as soft-spoken as Jungwoo, who was now in college getting his degree. After he moved away, the entirety of the basketball team became the target of Lucas's affection, and everyone knew there was no use in getting away from him.

"Is Daeshim here right now?" Jeno questions, his eyes flicking between the pair. Facing the captain was probably what he wanted least at the moment. In fact, he'd rather run three miles alongside Lucas before having to get scolded during morning practice— although he was adapted to Daeshim yelling at him over every little screw up.

"Nope, he was going to bring Yeri to school this morning." Lucas shakes his head. "Guess that means you're in the clear! You get to lift weights with us!" He ruffles the brown hair on his right. 

"Oh yay." Jeno says, a bit less enthusiastic than his choice of words would imply. 

"I'll race you to the locker room!" Lucas shouts just before taking off at full speed down the hallway, thankful that no staff was around to get angry with him. 

Jeno doesn't quicken his pace, and instead looks at Kunhang confusedly, to which the black-haired boy chuckles and offers a shrug in response. 

—

Later that day, Jaemin is in art class sitting across from Donghyuck, who is currently hogging all the pastels that Jaemin needs to complete his piece. Jaemin asked him to hand them over, but Donghyuck only latched on his grip harder, going on and on about how pretty the shades were. 

"Don't worry, Jaemin! You can borrow mine." His desk partner, Wong Yukhei— more often dubbed as Lucas— grins and hands over his colors. "Look, I have all kinds of 'em." He moves a finger to the desk and sorts through the chalky supplies, selecting the ones he saw Jaemin asking for only minutes ago. 

Lucas was a senior athlete, playing football in the fall and basketball over the winter. He was a giant goofball, but probably one of the nicest people at that school. Behind his large, intimidating appearance, he was a sweetheart filled with nothing but good intentions, and was often seen helping out others around the building. He and Jaemin had encounters sometimes, but Lucas was very popular, so it wasn't often that they'd speak. 

"Thanks." He gives the senior a grateful nod and accepts the pastels, moving them to his own workspace. "Since some people never learned how to share." He jokes, shooting a sharp jab at the boy on the other end of the table. 

"Hey, I never told you that you couldn't have any. I would've given them up if you just waited another second." Donghyuck assures, not quite convincing Jaemin— or Lucas for that matter. "Also, I have something to ask you, Renjun forgot to bring it up at lunch today." Donghyuck says, picking up a pair of scissors and cutting up some printer paper into the shape of a star. The teacher stated that they would only need pastels for this project, but Jaemin didn't dare question the boy. 

"What?" Jaemin pushes for him to continue talking, bringing the corner of a yellow pastel to his paper and pressing down lightly.

"So there's a basketball game this weekend, and Chenle invited all of us to go." Donghyuck explains, talking with his hands as they twirl around in the air, thinking back on his conversation with the orange-haired male only yesterday. "He said that he didn't want to be lonely taking photos in the stands."

"He takes photos?" Jaemin didn't remember Chenle mentioning photography whenever they hung out the previous week. Then again, they were at the theater, so it would have been hard to work up any sort of conversation.

"Yeah, he's on the yearbook. Anyways, you down?" Hyuck asks, finally glancing down at his paper and squinting his eyes to observe his 'beautiful' creation, which really resembled a crooked flower vase that an elementary student would have made. 

Jaemin was quick to make up his mind— in this instance at least. Upon hearing Donghyuck say 'basketball game', he instantly knew that he'd have to work up some excuse as to why he was too busy. 

"I don't know, basketball games aren't really my thing." Jaemin shrugs, his lips pressing into a thin, unamused line. 

It was true, Jaemin disliked sports in general. However, he would still rather play than be left to sit and watch. Having to keep his eyes focused on the court as he watched other people scramble across the floor was very boring to him, hence why he never went to many games— unless it was the last game of the season or something like that. Even then, he had trouble staying interested passed first quarter. 

"Come on Nana, it'll be fun." Donghyuck whines, looking up at his friend as he draws out his plead, not accepting the decline. 

"Oh, you are Nana!"

Lucas suddenly butts in, snapping his head in the direction of their words to turn back to the two, secreting having been engaged in their discussion the entire time. Both of the juniors fall silent, simply staring at him as if he were some kind of foreign creature that just trampled upon them. You could almost hear crickets chirping as things turn awkward. 

"You should come watch us." Lucas continues. "I'm sure Nono would like that a lot."

"Jeno?!" Jaemin's pulse quickens at the mention of the older boy. He was always on Jaemin's mind these days, but someone calling his name in person made Jaemin unexplainably nervous. 

"Yeah, he was talking about you this morning." Lucas beams, thinking back on that morning when Jeno had first uttered 'Nana'. "But that's not the point, please come."

"Why—"

"If you don't like it then I'll take you for pizza or something with some of the guys, my treat, okay?" Lucas holds out his pinky, hoping to secure a pinky promise with the blonde boy. "Just come support us. It's a home game too, so you won't even have to go anywhere. It's after school this Friday."

Jaemin sighs, hesitating before he lifts his arm and wraps his pinky finger around Lucas's, shaking it gently. "Fine, I'll go. But what will I even do the entire time?" He asks, dropping his hand back into his lap. 

"Watch me of course!" Lucas replies as if it's the most obvious thing ever. "And the other members too I guess." He rubs the back of his neck, lowering his voice a bit on that second part. 

Words can not express how much Jaemin wanted to push past their peer pressure and put his foot down to declare that he wasn't willing, but something about the two of them teaming up against him with their big eyes made it difficult to be so upfront. 

"So, do you want me to tell Chenle you're going?" Donghyuck inquires, waiting for an actual confirmation. 

"Yes, you can tell him I'll be there, I guess." Jaemin nods for confirmation.

"Sick! I can't wait." Lucas says, patting the younger boy on the back and then proceeding to return to his artwork— or what was supposed to be artwork. Lucas wasn't the best with on-hands activities like drawing or playing an instrument, but he was trying, which is what mattered most.

"Yup, can't wait." Jaemin repeats.

—

"Yeah, bye, I'll see you tomorrow." Jaemin waves Renjun off when the two reach the hill leading up to the apartment building that evening. "Get home safe!" He yells before turning around and treading inside.

Coming home after a long school day was the favorite part of most students' routines, but it was Jaemin's least. Of course, he was impatient when it came to being able to kick off his dirty shoes and lay back on the bed, allowing his chest to fall up and down with deep breaths— but there was always what he had to walk through in order to reach his bedroom.

Getting to the correct floor and pushing open the apartment with slight pressure applied to the door, the homely smell of alcohol and smoke makes itself known, slithering out of every crevasse of the living room.

There she was, in her usual place, slumped over the dining room table with her ashtray a few inches in front of the cigarettes dangling between Ms.Na's slender fingers. Expectedly, she looked sleepy, but Jaemin didn't mind, as it gave him the chance to dig through the cabinets in the kitchen and find something to eat. There was only ever potato chips and maybe a box of plain cereal, but those were both better than nothing at all.

Jaemin drops off his bag in front of his desk and returns to the kitchen, making a loop through the doorway and pulling open one of the wooden doors hanging in front of his head. He shuffles through it a bit, debating on the limited options he had. It was either barbecue or salt and vinegar tonight. With a grimace, he picks the latter. 

He reaches up, hand just barely grazing over the crinkly sounding bag when the cherry of a cigarette presses into his elbow. Jaemin retaliates immediately, pulling away and letting the bag of chips fall to the ground as he clutches his arm in pain. 

Jaemin hated when he got a burn on his joints, they were hard to cover up due to the constant motion. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" His mother asks, visually aggravated upon finding her son scrambling in the kitchen. "We just bought those yesterday, there's no way I'm going to let you eat all of them, you pig. If you want dinner, go find it yourself like the rest of us have to do." She scolds. "You deserve to be burned for that."

"I'm sorry." Jaemin apologizes, bending over and putting the food back on the shelf, seemingly disappointed.

"You should be, god you're such a burden to me. I thought it would get better as you got older, but you only seem to be rebelling more. In fact— you know what? Come with me." She grabs the boy's wrist, and he knew what was coming next.

Within seconds, the two make their way into the apartment's bathroom, and the grip around Jaemin's wrist starts to cut off circulation. Yes, he was strong enough to pull away and run, but that would only make things worse next time, and he would never hit his mom. She treated him terribly, but she was still the one to bring him into this world. 

Jaemin bites his bottom lip hard— to the point where it'd probably start bleeding— as she extends his right arm, using her free hand to retrieve the burning roll of paper from her mouth. She presses the tip firmly into the center of his tricep, disregarding the bright red color of it. Jaemin whines, trying his best to keep quiet so that it wouldn't last as long this time, but the pain searing into his skin made him want to scream bloody murder. As many times as this has happened, he was never able to get over how bad it felt. 

She holds it there for what feels like an unbearable amount of time before letting go, watching Jaemin's eyes well up with anger, sadness, and regret. She hums a small 'hmph' when she's satisfied with his unraveled state and throws Jaemin's arm back at him before storming out of the bathroom, leaving Jaemin to stand under the air vent with tears brimming his eyes.

Using his foot, Jaemin weakly closes the door and sinks to the ground, the salty liquid streaming down his cheeks. He can't see anything, but at the same time he sees everything. The way in which his mother changed after his dad left, the absolute hellhole that was he called home, and even the uncertainty blocking his future in terms of where he'd end up.

Maybe dead, if this torture continued much longer.

The sting never subsides.

Even after his arm stopped burning, he would still hurt.

At this point, Jaemin was certain he would always be in pain.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> take me out to the ballll gameee, take me out to the crowdddd (wrong sport but you get the point)

"I still don't understand why you brought us along for this." Renjun grumbles, dragging his feet against the stairs while his cousin leads the group of reluctant boys to the school library. "You're on the yearbook committee, it's literally your job to attend these things whether we're here or not... and where the hell is Donghyuck?!" He asks, looking around to see that Hyuck was still missing. 

"He said that he would meet up with us here a few minutes after dismissal, I'm sure he can't be too far." Chenle shrugs, ignoring the camera that thumps against his chest— attaches to a ribon around his neck— as they make their way up. "Also, you're coming too because you have no idea how boring it is to sit there and wait for a photo op. That being said, you're purely for my entertainment." He chuckles.

"Whatever." Renjun peers down the stairwell once they reach the top, viewing how high they were. "Just try not to fill up your camera roll with your boyfriend and leave some space for the rest of the team." He rolls his eyes with sly a smirk, to which Chenle's mouth drops into a circular shape, and he slaps a hand over his relative's lips.

"Be quiet about that, would you?" He threatens as Renjun gapes back at him with a bored expression. However, Chenle didn't care whether he wanted to be reminded or not, his relationship with the freshman boy was special, and he didn't want word to get out about it. "You know that he and I are a secret, so shush up, someone other than Jaemin might hear you."

"It's been two fucking years, Chenle. Don't you think someone has noticed by now?" Renjun asks, lowering his voice as the trio dips into the library. "Seriously, you guys act like it's not incredibly obvious."

Truthfully speaking, it actually wasn't. Jisung and Chenle were very young, yes, but it didn't mean they were incapable of hiding such a big secret. They never hung out at school, and at times, even acted like they had no idea who the other was when peers would bring them into conversation. It wasn't surprising that nobody suspected a thing. 

Of course Chenle wanted to be open about them dating, but he was afraid that it would hurt Jisung's growing reputation. Everyone around the building knew him to be reliable and talented— not to mention incredibly cute. Chenle didn't want to ruin that image before it was solidified, even if it meant holding hands under the table rather than where everyone could see. 

Though they were fairly distant in public, they made their relationship work. Chenle knew that Jisung loved him dearly, and vice versa. Jisung received the whole 'age-privilege' advantage when it came to being able to dodge practices here and there with lame excuses— such as being busy with babysitting. During these times, he'd actually make a straight shot for the Zhong household and spend the entire evening with Chenle and his parents— who were accepting after some time of getting used to it.

Chenle's mom and dad were rather traditional, so the whole concept of a boy loving another boy was strangely foreign to them and somewhat uncomfortable at first. However, they were also incredibly understanding, and gave the boys their blessing after only a couple of months, especially after seeing how much they meant to one another. Admittedly, it was cute. 

The three heads that trot into the large room hike over to a table near the center of the bookshelves and sit down, scattered throughout the many chairs surrounding it. Renjun and Chenle continue to bicker quietly back and forth while Jaemin scans the rows of dusty books, finding the plethora of genres quite interesting. He was never the most fond of reading, but he had to respect all of the different authors for putting their creativity towards something so huge and effort-requiring. 

Moments later, Donghyuck arrives, looking slightly disheveled, yet exhilarated. He smelled like sweat and a familiar— but unidentifiable cologne. And if it weren't painfully obvious before that, his lips were plumper than usual, the blood having rushed to the sweet rosebud smile that laid diagonally on his face. 

"Uh Hyuck," Jaemin stares at the older with a concerned look veiling his features, "your collar is a little... crooked." He points out and gestures to his neck, which grabs everyone else's attention as well and causes them to turn towards the boy. 

"Oh, is it?" Donghyuck looks down at his chest and chuckles in a whimsical fashion, clearly on cloud nine— if not loopy on hard drugs. "Sorry guys, I had physical education earlier today and I haven't had the chance to adjust my appearance since then. So where were we?" He asks, propping his elbows up on the table. 

"Right." Renjun side eyes Hyuck, clearly not believing him. "So how did your thing go that made you have to show up late? Did you get everything taken care of?" He asks, batting his eyelashes at the guilty-looking male. 

"It went great! Thanks for asking!" Donghyuck grins, baring his teeth at the oldest as if asking him to shut up in the most polite way possible. "So what time does the game start?" He asks, trying to change the subject once again— this time, succeeding. Not because he was slick, but since everyone else was going to get tired of pressing for answers when Donghyuck was clearly not willing to give any. 

"Five, so an hour from now." Chenle checks the time on his phone before turning his attention back to his camera and fooling around with some of the settings on the display screen.

"What should we do until then?" Jaemin asks, glancing at everyone's faces and noticing the life that seemed to be drained from them. 

"We could play mafia!" Donghyuck offers, proud of his idea.

"With only four people?" Renjun asks, growing annoyed yet again— so nothing new.

"Oh right..."

Time passes by quickly, and in what feels like only five minutes, the boys are all shuffling into the school's gymnasium, finding it fascinating how easily the bleachers could come out from the walls and create a whole new look for the large room. Just hours ago, this was their musty gym, but now it served as a well-put together place for the student body to gather and root for the same team.

Jaemin remained quiet as they took their spots in the second row of the seating— leaving the first for benched players. None of them genuinely liked sitting that close to the court, but Chenle insisted anyways, claiming that it would give him the best view for his pictures— and then joked by saying that if the ball cracked his camera by chance, he could get a new one from the school free of charge.

The teams both slowly file into the court and take their respective sides. Mark and Daeshim are both up to play first with three of their teammates, and the rest of them sit directly in front of Jaemin and his friends. They all look strangely composed for a group of kids with their school's athletic success on the line, but Jaemin supposes that's due to being used to it.

Upon the arrival of Lucas, Renjun shifts in his seat uncomfortably, suddenly wishing for the game to be over already when it hadn't even started yet. However, nobody else seems to notice his struggle and he's left to merely complain on the inside. 

Jeno looked especially adorable in his uniform. A white headband on his head pushed up his brown locks and held them just out of his face while they dangled, and Jaemin couldn't help but watch the older as he leaned back on the bleacher, talking to Jisung about lord knows what. 

In the middle of his observation, Jaemin, who is sitting behind the two, suddenly drops his phone. The device slips out of his grasp like a stick of butter and lands on the ground behind the bench. Both boys turn around upon the sound of the 'clang!' and Jeno reaches down, grabbing Jaemin's phone and handing it to him with a bright smile. 

"Jaemin! I didn't know you were showing up today." He exclaims, the lights dazzling in his dark eyes. "You should've told me! Now I have to play extra well today." He laughs a bit, quiet enough to where his coach won't snap on him for talking during the first quarter of the game. Jisung just turns back around and minds his own business, not wanting to get caught up in it if Jeno got in trouble.

"I'm sorry, I thought Lucas would've told you." Jaemin says, his own face lighting up at the conversation with his friend.

"He didn't." Jeno sucks in the corners of his mouth, compressing his lips down into a straight line. "I can't talk for long or else the coach will notice, but I hope you enjoy! Definitely let me know what you thought the next time I see you, okay?"

"You bet."

The game continues on throughout the evening, and Jeno is taken off the bench along with Kunhang in the second quarter. Jaemin was actually excited about the sport for once, interested in seeing how Jeno would play. 

After about five minutes of watching Jeno sprint across the hardwood floor at full speed, he could conclude one thing, and that was the fact that Lee Jeno never disappoints.

It was evident that he was one of the more experienced players. He would zip up and down the sidelines, avoiding defensive players and opening up for a pass during any chance he could get. When Jeno had the ball within his grasp, there was no way that anyone else would get it, even if they were taller than him. 

Jaemin felt a blossom of pride bloom within his chest as his eyes stayed fixated on the older boy's form several feet in front of him. He wondered for a moment, if this was how mothers felt watching children take their first steps— although that was barely comparable to this situation, as Jeno was more on the advanced side of the spectrum when it came to basketball. 

He sits still in awe at Jeno's talents. Jeno was truly as close as one could get to perfection.

Off to the side a bit, the sound of a camera click can be heard, and Donghyuck is leaning over Chenle's shoulder to analyze the photos as he takes them. It must have been awfully nerve-wracking to have the junior breathing down his neck the entire time, but Chenle manages. Jaemin stifles a snicker, realizing that everybody had to be good at something, even if it just happened to be the tolerance of your nosy friend. 

Jeno never returns to the bench that night, and instead spends the rest of the game sweating miserably on the court. Jaemin assumed it must have been difficult for him to uphold himself for so long, but Jeno doesn't falter once, and makes hoop after hoop, raking up a large chunk of points towards his school. 

By fourth quarter, it's already looking up to be a landslide victory— but just to play it safe, Daeshim, Lucas, Mark, and Kunhang are all sent out alongside Jeno in order to secure the victory. Unsurprisingly, they do. When the clock reaches zero, the students of the winning team in the stands all stand up and start cheering loudly, claiming yet another win in their name. 

Both teams line up in the middle of the gymnasium and high five, passing each other on their way out with Daeshim and his team in route to the locker room. 

"That was it?" Jaemin turns to Renjun, feeling like the game was a lot shorter than he had anticipated. He knew how long they generally played for, but today's match felt exceptionally short in comparison to all of the others he had watched.

"Yeah, now we go home." Renjun beams, thankful to finally get out of this place before having to encounter a certain player. "So, was it as bad as you thought?" He asks, reaching out and patting Jaemin on the back like a tired father after a long day.

"Not at all." Jaemin replies, more positive than he usually was around the black-haired boy. "I had a lot of fun. Let's do it again sometime."

"I got some great photos!" Chenle yells happily, scrolling through the camera gallery with the little arrows beside the screen. "The committee is going to love these. Thank you guys so much for joining me!" 

"It was no problem." Donghyuck reassures before stretching out in his seat with a long, overdramatic yawn. "But I'm sleepy, this is the time when we part ways." He remarks with a smirk. "I'll see you guys next week. Stay safe, okay?" He stands up, gathering his things in his arms and tries to push through the other people leaving the bleachers.

"You too, Hyuck." Chenle doesn't look up, but he bids the older goodbye. "I should head out too, my mom will be worried if I'm out and it's dark." 

Renjun and Jaemin nod in understanding, dismissing him and sitting in silence for a few seconds. Renjun turns his head to his blonde friend and tilts his head.

"Guess I should walk you home, huh?"

Together, the pair begins their venture to the exit. Renjun starts talking as soon as they're on the ground, but Jaemin's thoughts are all centered on one person and one person only the whole time.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> longer chapter than usual wowow,, no comment other than that ...

"Sticker boy, long time no see!" Daeshim calls out, ironically cheerful from a few stairs above Jaemin. There was a devilish glint in his piercing eyes and venom residing behind his welcoming smile— it made Jaemin want to shudder at the mere sight. "How've you been anyways? It's been quite a while since we last met up like this." He mentions, chuckling as he raises an arm to scratch the back of his neck. 

'Met up'? Did Daeshim think that meeting up consisted of him hunting down the younger and then nearly ponding him into the dirt when they came face to face? That was his idea of 'meeting up'?! It was no wonder Jaemin had grown to become so terrified of the senior after only some time.

Jaemin's eyes widen when the voice rings into his ears. Wearily, he turns around to be met with a full view of Daeshim coming down from behind him. Jaemin didn't know how, but he hadn't even noticed the boy there before, and was now wishing that he took a different staircase to get to the second-floor bathroom.

If he was targeting anyone else, Jaemin would have been angry to see the black-haired boy getting so out of hand with how badly he treated people, but since it was himself, he tried his best to just get comfortable with the idea of being shoved around— though it never felt justified, which was probably because it wasn't. 

Nonetheless, Jaemin stops moving and gulps when realizing the inevitably of having to put up with Daeshim right now. For a while, it felt as if he was finally free from the tortures that were the basketball player's ruthlessness, but now a sense of foolishness arose from within him at the idea that he let himself believe that. As per usual, he ended up feeling stupid for clutching on to wishful thinking.

"I'm fine..." Jaemin speaks, trying his hardest to keep their interaction as short as possible. If he had to hold up a conversation with him, the least he could do was be vague. Hell, maybe the curt nature would annoy Daeshim, and he'd move along without forcing Jaemin to talk. However, knowing Daeshim, this would most likely not be the case. 

"I saw you at our basketball game on Friday, pretty cool right?" Daeshim asks in almost a mocking tone. Jaemin grows suspicious as the older comes forward a bit, getting closer to him with each thundering step. He was tall to begin with, but when he was up close, Daeshim looked like a giant— it was one of the many factors that kept Jaemin from sticking up for himself, that and his crazy strength for a high school student. 

Alright maybe Daeshim wasn't incredibly muscular when analyzing it objectively, but Jaemin was skinny and very weak, so that definitely didn't work to his advantage. He was called out on it sometimes considering the boy was rather stick-like and had trouble lifting even the smallest of weights.

"I wasn't there to watch you." Jaemin reminds him, feeling a slight jolt of confidence, only for it to be retracted moments later. 

"Oh trust me, I know." Daeshim smirks, resting a hand on Jaemin's shoulder in the same way an older brother would, but something about the action feels so wrong— like it was a subconscious threat telling Jaemin to leave now. "I'm not dumb, Jaemin, I saw you and Jeno over there flirting on the bleachers. Not to mention your eyes were glued to him the entire time he was playing." He scowls at last, clearly agitated upon thinking back to the scene.

"We weren't flirting." Jaemin defends himself by crossing his arms over his chest firmly and tugging his mouth into a tight line. "I was just saying 'hello.'"

"My ass." Daeshim lets out a low, growl-like snarl. He arrives in front of Jaemin's face, causing the latter to try and back up out of fright, but he's stopped by the grip on his shoulder tightening. The larger boy's nails dig into his skin roughly and Jaemin fights back a yelp. "I don't know how many times I'm going to have to tell you to get you to stay away, 'Nana'. Are you really that selfish?"

"Selfish?" Jaemin tilts his head as he goes blank, trying to think back on his life to find any time where he could actually be considered selfish. Na Jaemin was many things, but out of every label you could put on him, 'selfish' was surely one of the tags you'd least expect to hear. 

Daeshim rolls his eyes at Jaemin's cluelessness and continues. "You've changed Jeno, and I don't like it— neither do the rest of his friends. I don't know what you've done to make him such a smartass these days, but quit it." He spits, finally revealing the true intentions of his confrontation. 

"I still don't know what you're talking about." Jaemin admits shyly, keeping his voice a lot quieter than Daeshim's. He didn't change Jeno, if anything, Jeno changed Jeno— or Daeshim was too blind to see that the referenced boy had always been that way.

"Listen fucker—" He starts, his voice nearly breaking into a shout before he jolts his hand forward and watches Jaemin squirm as he falls down a few feet, hitting the solid ground below with a thud and a wince.

"Daeshim! What the hell are you doing?!" A female's voice cuts through the scene and the sound of quick footsteps can be heard up above. For a moment, Jaemin feels as if an angel had arrived to save him, and he sees a glimmer of hope. 

"Yeri?" Daeshim chokes out, unpleasantly surprised with the sudden appearance of his girlfriend walking in on him tormenting the junior. She had never caught him physically harming anyone, and it was probably why they were still together. "How long have you been standing there?" He stares up at her face and immediately takes an internal note of the disgust written all over it. 

"Long enough to know that you're being a dick again." Yeri rushes passed Daeshim and crouches down next to the boy on the floor, lifting one of his arms and checking for injuries before snapping her head towards Daeshim, her eyebrows furrowed in pure anger. "Leave Jaemin alone."

"You don't understand—" He speaks up, only to get shut down by the girl on the spot. Yeri was probably the only person in existence who Daeshim would allow to interrupt him like that without consequences. 

"I'm breaking up with you." She announces, which stops Daeshim's blood cold in his spot standing in the middle of the empty stairwell. She pays no mind, and instead of clarifying upon seeing Daeshim's confused features scrunch, she asks Jaemin if he's okay and gives him a hug.

Daeshim stays silent for some time and remains still in shock, the hands attached to his arms growing numb and balling up into tight fists. "What?" He finally asks, his voice cracking embarrassingly, but he didn't care about that— after all, Yeri was currently ending things with him over someone who he considered a waste of space.

"You heard me. I'm breaking up with you." She repeats, grabbing Jaemin's hand and pulling him up to his feet gently, uttering tiny 'are you sure you're okay's along the way. The younger gives a few nods, not wanting to speak. "Get back to class or I'll tell the school what I saw." Yeri says, directed at the stone-like boy on the stairs.

"You're not breaking up with me over him." The senior scoffs, still seemingly unable to process what's happening. 

"I already did, now leave." Yeri commands, her gaze shifting into an icy glare that would send shivers down even Daeshim's spine. Compared to the other girls in their school, Yeri was definitely one of the most opinionated in terms of upholding her manners and beliefs, so it's no surprise that she could be intimidating and aggressive when needed. 

"But-"

"Go." Her voice is even louder and stronger this time, and Jaemin himself would have been scared if she wasn't on his side. 

Daeshim doesn't say another word. He takes off at nearly the speed of light, wanting to exit the scene as quick as he could, especially with the possibility of a teacher walking in any moment to send them all to the office.

"Yeri, thank you." Jaemin looks up to her with glossy eyes. His expression was full of sincerity, and he would have instantly wrapped his arms around the girl if she didn't beat him to it, pulling the blonde into a comforting, motherly embrace yet again. She smells like an arrangement of flowers, and Jaemin drowns himself in her bright presence. He didn't know what he'd do without her. Even if they were somewhat distant, she was still one of his closest friends, and Jaemin knew that he could trust her with almost anything. 

"Don't mention it, Jaem." She pats him on the back in between rubbing small circles, attempting to comfort him to the best of her ability. "We're friends, I'd be a terrible person if I ignored that and stayed with him any longer. I'm really sorry." She apologizes on Daeshim's behalf, appalled at the thought that she dated such a monster.

Jaemin smiles in a bittersweet fashion, the corner of his lips tugging upwards to form a slight curve. "Don't be sorry, you had no idea, it's not your fault." To this, Yeri returns the grin.

"Anyways, I have to get back to calculus or my teacher will murder me." She laughs, motioning towards the hallway just outside the stairwell. "I'll see you around, Jaem." She ruffles his hair playfully before parting ways.

"Okay, goodbye, thanks again." He stands in place, his tailbone in a rather large amount of pain from the crash. 

"Don't mention it." She waves goodbye and then turns a corner, disappearing before his eyes.

—

"How much more do we have to do?" Jeno wonders aloud, staring down at the documents sprawled across Jaemin's desk in their history class. There were stacks and stacks of various pieces of information, all waiting to be used for something important— although both boys were sure by now that they'd end up going to waste.

Jaemin lifts up some of the papers to shuffle them into a neatly aligned pile. It annoyed him when some of the corners were sticking out in random spots. "Well we're only about halfway done, Jeno." A low chuckle leaves his lips as he places the papers on the edge of his desk. He then proceeds to eye the rest of them, fighting a groan at how many there were to sort.

"We have to present next week." Jeno sighs dramatically before leaning over the small table, laying down on top of their supplies and crinkling up some of their articles, much to Jaemin's annoyance. 

"I know." He reaches out pushes Jeno off of their things. "Stop! You're going to wrinkle them!" Jaemin whines, watching Jeno laugh as the younger fails to shove his sturdy body out of the way.

"We're not going to use them anyways." Jeno says as he sits up, smirking and then proceeding to get an idea. "Hey do you think you can come home with me tonight to work on it? I'll skip practice and work again— but my parents can't get mad since I'm doing school stuff." He snickers. 

"Are you sure?" Jaemin asks. He didn't want to intrude on anyone's family, so he was only being weary out of caution and respect. What he didn't know was that the Lee's wouldn't be home, so it didn't matter after all.

It was rare that Jeno's parents were home much during the day on weekdays since they both worked for quite a large chunk of their schedules. Jeno didn't really mind, as he had gotten used to having the house to himself— well, other than his cat, but he spent the entirety of his time sleeping anyways.

"Yeah, we need to get this wrapped up." Jeno shrugs nonchalantly, picking up some of the sheets and helping his partner with the organization for once. "So meet me by the school exit after the last period, and we'll walk to my house, okay?"

"Alright, sounds good." The blonde nods in confirmation, a bad feeling bubbling up at the thought of going home with Jeno.

Just as promised, Jaemin stands next to the front door after school and waits patiently for the older to arrive. Lots of kids pass by, all absorbed in their world and talking to their friends, and Jaemin just stays put to watch. 

"Ready to go?" Jeno asks, coming out of the blue with his backpack and a smile on.

Jaemin has an unexplainable, uneasy feeling in his stomach when glancing out the window. The weather was nice earlier, so it didn't make much sense that the sky was now being overtaken by a series of dark, monstrous clouds that frowned and whined as they threaten to pour down any second to soak everyone below. 

He turns to the brunette, picking at the ends of his fingernails as a means to cope with the strange anxiety taking over. "It looks kind of gross out there... do you have an umbrella on you?"

"I don't." Jeno lowers his head, embarrassed at his own lack of preparation. Jeno was smart, yes, but it wasn't often that he'd think that far ahead in terms of practical things like whether it'd be sunny or not. "But if we hurry, we can probably beat the rain."

"I trust you." Jaemin purses his lips, pushing the door forward with Jeno towing behind.

"I guess we weren't fast enough." Jeno chuckles a few minutes later, looking up just in time for a droplet of water to land on his forehead and run down the center of his face, almost in a perfect line. 

Jaemin had walked in relative silence the entire time so far as Jeno babbles mindlessly about something that happened at school. Usually, Jaemin would listen and join in, but for some reason, he can't help but do anything as he stares down at his feet skidding across the concrete. Nausea bubbles in his stomach with every second he's out in the open, completely vulnerable to the rain. The day felt strange and off-putting, Jaemin didn't like it at all, but there was nothing he could do. 

However, along with all of this thinking, he fails to realize when the rain seeps its way under the stickers on his skin, causing some of the used, paper characters to slip out of place, becoming all crooked and shriveled up. 

"Hey— what's that?" Jeno cuts his rant short to point to a dark spot on the side of Jaemin's neck. Somehow, he didn't notice it until now, but it looked kind of like— an injury?

"What is what?" Jaemin questions, still oblivious.

"One of your stickers— it got wet and it's—" Jeno starts to explain calmly, but Jaemin doesn't hear the end of his sentence. The younger's ears start ring when realization knocks him breathless.

Jaemin stops and inhales so sharply that it feels like a knife poking at his lungs. 

In fact, everything stops.

His head is suddenly so loud, but at the same time his mind is wiped clean. So many thoughts, yet absolutely no way to think about them.

Jaemin knew this would happen eventually. It was destined to happen.

He knew that his secret would get out to somebody down the road— he always had that feeling— but he never figured Jeno would be the first one to learn about it. Not even Yeri could figure out why Jaemin was covered in stickers, for all she was aware he just started wearing them one day. It was always viewed as something Jaemin did for attention or for fun, but now that he was stuck in the rain, the true intention would be revealed. 

What would Jeno think? With Jaemin's luck, he probably wouldn't want to be friends anymore.

He'd be disgusted.

Revolted even. 

To find out that the boy he had been trying to befriend was really some loser with issues at home— Jaemin could probably understand if they went back to cutting ties. He wouldn't want to feel sympathy for someone like himself either. Besides, Jaemin figures that it was his fault for doing this that made his mom lash out like that. 

Jaemin wouldn't hold a grudge if Jeno abandoned him, but at the same time he could bear the thought. Maybe he really was as selfish as Daeshim had suggested that morning.

The smaller of the two takes off down the street, his pace picking up as he bursts into a full sprint for the first time in what was probably months. Jaemin didn't run often, but now it felt like his legs couldn't stop if he wanted them to. His eyes well up with the familiar string of silk tears that he spilled too often these days. The beat of his heart can be felt pounding in his ears, and even if he ran to the end of the world, it wouldn't be far enough. It would never be far enough.

He wished he could run away from everything.

"Where are you going?!" Jeno yells, panicking slightly as he tries to speed up despite the slippery state of the ground. 

"Your house!" He calls back, his vocal tone cracking through the air as if unstable. He didn't know where else he could go. If they were going to talk, Jaemin at least wanted it to be in private. Jaemin had been to Jeno's house a couple times at this point, so he had somewhat of an idea of how to get there from here, even through his blurry vision— which was a result of the small sobs trembling his body.

Jeno is beyond confused by now, but he continues to chase the younger boy. Of course, being an athlete, it doesn't take him too long to catch up and warn Jaemin. "Be careful! You'll—"

Jaemin's feet come out from under him as he trips and falls, splashing in a small pool of water while tears stream down his face. This was it, he was now obligated to open up the can of worms he had stored for two years now, and there was no running from it.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tag urself I’m jeno’s cat

"I told you I can walk. You'll hurt your back carrying me this long." Jaemin whines as he's slumped in Jeno's arms, cheeks on fire with the embarrassment running through his system. Moments after he fell, Jeno didn't hesitate to reach down and pick him up, throwing Jaemin over his form and telling him that they'd be home soon.

Hanging over Jeno's shoulder, Jaemin stares at the ground, growing slightly dizzy watching the lines on the concrete pass underneath him. He couldn't see too much, as he was still crying, but it was enough to make his head spin.

"And I told you that I'm fine, you're really light." Jeno remarks, still treading at a steady pace while the rain pours down on them. They were almost to Jeno's house, so it wouldn't be long before they had the chance to dry off. 

Jeno was, admittedly, really worried about Jaemin at this point. He seemed to only get so freaked out after Jeno brought attention to the weird dot on Jaemin's neck, and he couldn't help but wonder if Jaemin was alright. It could have just been some kind of accident, but to be strategically placed underneath the sticker? Something smelled fishy about the whole situation. Jeno didn't want to pry by any means, but he was going to ask— just in case Jaemin needed help. 

A crack of thunder is heard roaring just over the trees, looking for its prey, which only made everything going on seem that much worse. By now, Jaemin was barely even crying. He was growing numb in the cold rain, feeling like his entire world came to a halt within the past fifteen minutes.

Finally, approaching the porch of the modern home, Jeno sets Jaemin on the ground by the door and pulls his keys out of his pocket. He shivers slightly as he inserts them into the door and opens it, allowing Jaemin to go in first and then following right after. 

"I'll be right back." Jeno says, closing the door and turning on the main light once they're inside. He pushes the soaked strands of hair out of his face with a heavy sigh. "Stand there on the welcome mat, my mom will kill me if the floor gets all wet. I'm going to get towels, okay?" Jaemin nods and then observes as Jeno makes his way quickly, but carefully, up the stairs. 

He returns in all of what's probably two minutes later with two towels in his arms. Jeno hands one to Jaemin and then begins to dry himself while the younger does the same. It takes a few minutes, but when they stop dripping, Jeno turns to Jaemin and starts laughing, the noise filling the room with sunshine even though it's storming outside.

"Can you believe we got stuck in the rain like that?" He asks, eyes pulled up into their sweet crescent shape that Jaemin adored so much. "I'm really sorry, Nana. I wouldn't have offered to have you walk home with me if I knew this would happen. You must be freezing... and how are your legs? You fell pretty hard."

"I'm okay." Jaemin says, his expression remaining neutral, although he feels the slightest urge to grin at the comical side of the situation. "Thanks for... carrying me." He looks away shyly, honestly surprised at how well Jeno handled everything, swooping in and all.

"It's nothing." Jeno waves his hand in the air as if to dismiss the gratitude, finding it unnecessary. "Um, do you want to change into a fresh pair of clothes? I have some up in my room you can borrow. I don't mind as long as you're comfortable with it." He shrugs.

Jaemin hesitates, but then nods and lets Jeno lead him upstairs and down the hallway into the older boy's bedroom. He hadn't been in here before, so it was kind of strange seeing the various plushies stacked up in the corner of Jeno's bed. The walls were painted a classic, creamy white, and there was a single basketball laying under his desk. Placed on the chair in the corner of Jeno's room, was a plump, fluffy cat.

"You have a cat?" Jaemin tilts his head, walking over to the animal and stroking its fur gently. The white ball of fluff stretches out in response, seemingly drowsy.

"That's Callie." Jeno responds, digging through his drawers to find a pair of sweatpants. "She's really lazy, and I'm actually allergic to cats, but I love her." He's not facing Jaemin, but you can still hear the smile on his face as he speaks about the pet. "She's super sweet, don't be afraid to get comfortable with her." He adds. 

Jaemin sits down crisscrossed on the ground and holds his hand out in front of the cat. He expected her to at least smell him, but the fat kitten sits in place and keeps her eyes closed, absolutely unbothered by the presence of a stranger. A tiny smile makes its way on to Jaemin's face as he pets her. She was very soft, and the fact that she didn't care about him being there was hilariously adorable to Jaemin. He was amused. 

"Here you go." Jeno walks over with a grin and hands Jaemin a loose shirt and some sweats. "You can use the bathroom to put these on. I'm going to go feed Callie and then I'll change after you."

"Thank you." Jaemin gets up, grabbing the clothes from the brunette. He then steps out into the hallway to find the bathroom only one door down.

About twenty minutes later, Jaemin and Jeno are sitting on the floor among their uncompleted project and engage in light conversation. Now and then, in between chuckles, Jeno pops a gummy bear into his mouth and Jaemin finds himself warming up, calming down from what happened earlier that afternoon. 

That is, until Jeno suddenly shifts to a more serious expression.

"Hey Jaemin... you don't have to talk about it if you don't want," He briefs, trying to remain respectful despite his concern, "but what was that on your neck earlier? You know, under the sticker that fell off? It looked painful."

Jaemin flicks his eyes up at the boy and holds his breath for a moment before releasing it. He should have expected the questioning to start soon— but don't get him wrong, he appreciated that Jeno was still thinking about it. However, he also didn't want to worry him.

"I think it'd be easier to show you." Jaemin says, his throat running dry.

Jeno nods, motioning for Jaemin to continue. The action plays out in slow motion for both of the teenagers, but Jaemin raises a hand to his left arm and begins peeling away the corner of a flower. He looks cautious, and a little sick to his stomach, but bites his lip when the burn mark is revealed underneath in all its glory, dark colored and perfectly rounded like a cigarette cherry.

The older of the two opens his mouth to question, but is cut off when Jaemin starts to move quicker, ripping the stickers off of his skin one by one and showing more polka dots under each and every one of them. Jeno is knocked speechless, his curiosity only growing as he wonders what those are exactly. 

Soon, there's no more happy faces or little animals covering Jaemin's pale skin, and he sits there, fully uncovered and vulnerable. 

"Are there more?"

Jaemin nods.

"Can I see?"

Hesitantly, Jaemin reaches down to the hem of the shirt Jeno lent him and pulls it up over his head, displaying more stickers underneath, splattering across his chest and stomach— even on his collarbones. Jeno feels himself grow angry at the sight, thinking about how somebody knowingly did this to someone so kindhearted— it made him upset. 

Jaemin takes those off too, and then sits, gaping at Jeno and waiting for some kind of reaction. Jeno however, isn't trying to muster one. He wouldn't have expected this, after all, Jaemin never mentioned anything about being in pain or getting hurt.

"Do you remember when you said 'hidden in plain sight?'" Jaemin asks, tearing up for what was probably the nth time that day and Jeno's heart sinks to the pit of his stomach. He felt so bad for not noticing before, but even worse now that he didn't know how to help.

"Jaemin... where did those come from?" He asks, flicking up his gaze away from Jaemin's bare chest to lock eyes with the younger, who was staring back at him even though he was on the verge of crying again. 

"My mom... she- I don't— her cigarettes- Jeno she-" Jaemin shuts down completely trying to speak and wishes that he could sink into the floor, holding his face in his hands as the tears start to flow at full velocity. He was such a mess, so embarrassed for unraveling in front of Jeno like this, but it was already done, and he couldn't reverse it now.

"Don't cry, Nana!" Jeno pushes their papers off to the side and scoots closer to the blonde-haired boy cracking in front of him. He immediately leans in and grabs Jaemin's shaking form, pulling him into a tight hug and pressing a soft hand to the back of the head that buried itself into Jeno's chest. "Shhh it's going to be okay." He assures him.

Jaemin cried quite often, but this was definitely the hardest Jeno had seen him sob. Small wails leave his parted lips as Jeno rocks them back and forth on the carpet, being cautious to not press too hard on the many burns seared into Jaemin's skin. A few of them appeared to be light scars at this point, but he didn't want to take any chances. 

Jeno listens to the sound of Jaemin's sniffles for a long while after that. Once the latter is able to catch his breath, he sits back and tilts his head towards the ground, not wanting to be here anymore. But he'd rather be here than at his apartment, so at least he had that going for him. 

The smaller sits in place dwelling on the awkward tension filling the room when Jeno reaches out and grabs one of his arms, pulling it forwards and examining the burns up close. Jaemin wants to say something, anything— but he can't find the words. 

Jeno lifts the limb in his grasp and leans in, and it leaves Jaemin utterly confused and humiliated until...

He brings his lips to one of the burns on his wrist, planting a feather-like kiss over the red area.

It reminded Jaemin of what parents did when their child got hurt. His breath hitches upon the contact and the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. It didn't hurt because of how gentle Jeno was being, but it surprised him nonetheless. Jeno had just kissed him. Well— not him— but his arm.

They make eye contact for a few seconds, and upon seeing no objection to the act, one kiss becomes two, and then three, and then as many as it takes to smooch every dot on Jaemin's left arm, all the way up to his shoulder where Jeno pauses briefly before moving to the other, continuing the same pattern.

Jaemin's face becomes as red as a strawberry, and he listens to the sounds in the room, which was nothing more than the noise produced from Jeno kissing his skin. Even if he wanted to push the older away out of fear, he couldn't— it just felt so good. So he merely watched the head of brown hair work its way up and down his body. 

Before long, Jeno reaches the spots on Jaemin's unclothed torso and starts near his hips, wanting to work his way up. This makes Jaemin squirm under the hot breath being applied all over his body, but he can't refuse. He enjoys it. He loves this, as much as he knows he shouldn't. He should shove Jeno off of him because this is simply wrong— this will only get Jeno in trouble— but he can't bring himself to do it. 

When Jeno's mouth hits Jaemin's neck, Jaemin gets all tingly inside even though the kisses there are disappointingly short. He supposed it's for the better though, as it would be highly inappropriate any other way. 

Thoughts continue to cloud his head until he and Jeno are face to face at last, the older hovering just in front of him. The tips of their noses are almost touching, and Jaemin's heart is beating louder than he ever thought possible. What could he say? It was what Lee Jeno did to him. 

"Jeno..." Jaemin breathes out weakly.

Jeno doesn't respond, but he's wearing that stupid smirk again and Jaemin can feel himself wanting to slap it off of his face.

But he doesn't.

He can't.

Instead, Jeno's eyes widen only seconds later because in a swift motion, 

it's Na Jaemin who closes the gap in between their lips.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kiss kiss fall in love !!!

Jeno is out of reach again as soon as their lips brush against each other. He sits back with eyes as large as saucers in complete shock. Jaemin has the sudden impulse to let out a whine upon the missing contact, but it dissolves when he realizes what had just happened.

He just kissed Jeno.

Jaemin hadn't ever been one that expected himself to falter under the clutches of temptation, but after weeks of wishing that he could openly pine for the older male, it all built up to this moment in which he let himself go. His behavior surprised even himself.

"Oh my god." Jaemin's mouth parts, and he can't find anything better to say than that. He didn't know what happened, but as soon as he saw the older look at him with that lopsided grin he found it harder to hold himself back— therefore, he didn't. But now that Jeno had pulled away, Jaemin feels like he's going to vomit with both anxiety and regret. "I'm so sorry—" He begins to apologize frantically, "—that was really uncalled-for..."

The boy sitting in front of him doesn't speak, he doesn't even move— and for a moment, Jaemin wishes he was still outside in the rain rather than seated here. He wishes he could be anywhere but here. 

Jeno places a palm on Jaemin's knee, rubbing it gently before tilting his head to lean in and capture the younger in another kiss. They remain like that for longer this time as the both of them are patient to ease into things. Jaemin's heart flutters when Jeno smiles against his mouth, chuckling a little bit and breathing over his lips.

Instinctively, Jaemin's hands begin to roam over the older boy, and he clasps them behind Jeno's neck. The latter's hands round over Jaemin's bare waist, gripping on tight— but not too tight. Jaemin tries to lean in further, pulling his body inwards until their chests are touching and both of their hearts are pounding desperately against their rib cages. 

The brunette tasted like the sweet gummy bears he had eaten earlier, the evidence of the treat lingering on his lips— and Jaemin was loving every second of it. In fact, he felt euphoric for the first time in what was probably years. The fact that Jeno was so tender as well was making him collapse under his touch. Jaemin longed for the sensation to last forever. 

As for Jeno, well, he was somewhat lost in the excitement and rush he was experiencing, unable to get a clear thought to pass through.

He didn't know kissing a guy could feel this nice.

He didn't know kissing in general could feel this nice.

Jeno's arms were strong and firm, keeping the younger in place while still being careful not to lay a finger on the burn spots. He was sure they hurt, so he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he accidentally irritated one of them. 

Jaemin was much like a flower to him. Pretty to look at, soft to the touch, but would fall apart if you handled it the wrong way or forget to nurture it with love and care. Jeno had picked up on this after some time, but quite frankly, he wasn't ever able to see himself as the one to water Jaemin with such affection— even though he had endless amounts to offer. The odds were stacked against the pair whether Jeno liked it or not.

But part of him couldn't care less. 

He hadn't known it until only a few minutes ago, but he was hungry— starving— for such intimacy with the boy. The way their lips were flowing together and collaborating to play the perfect rhythm was hypnotizing him, sending Jeno further under Jaemin's little love spell that the older was convinced he was casting. If he wasn't head over heels before— then oh boy he was now. 

One of Jaemin's hands trickles down Jeno's athletic form and lands to hang over his shoulder, holding on to Jeno's back as if his life depended on it. At this point, maybe it did. 

Jeno breaks away for air after what feels like an eternity and takes deep, slow breaths as he stares at Jaemin, eyes full of pure adoration. He looked so beautiful sitting there, puffy lips and red cheeks, it was driving Jeno crazy. He didn't know what to do with himself, feeling such an incredible draw to the blonde. 

He hadn't felt this way with anyone before.

Quickly, Jeno pokes his head forward with tiny chicken-pecks and presses his mouth to various parts of Jaemin's face, peppering him with kisses as the younger giggles quietly, still wrapped around his arms. 

"Why can't you just live with me or something?" Jeno questions with a whisper. "I'm sure my parents wouldn't mind. Or maybe just move in with another friend? I know it's not really my place to say these things but I don't want you to keep getting hurt. I say this as someone who really cares about you, Jaemin. I want you to be happy." He speaks with every ounce of sincerity in his body, and Jaemin grows flustered.

"You make me happy." Jaemin admits with a cheesy grin. "That's all I need."

Jeno's face starts to turn red again. "I'm glad that I do, but you should also be able to see the beauty in the rest of the world. I would be selfish if I told you to only rely on me for joy. There's so much out there to see and cherish. I hope that maybe someday we can view those things together. I can't be the only thing you care about, but I would love to help you expand passed all the toxicity in this junky town."

Jaemin could break when hearing those words. Jeno's voice was so light, yet what he said held so much weight to him. 

"Nobody's ever told me this before."

"You're so cute, you know that?" A small frown curves on Jeno's face as he whispers with sparkly features, the rain outside continuing to crash down on the dull world. However, the two boys in Jeno's room feel like they're in paradise. In their word, the sun was shining brighter than ever.

"Don't say things like that." Jaemin whimpers, feeling as if this situation was a little unfair. Jaemin knew for sure that he liked Jeno a lot, but the latter hadn't actually taken the time to clarify if he felt the same way. Jaemin had a pretty good guess formulated by now, but it wasn't safe to assume. "You'll give me false hope." He presses the side of his head to Jeno's chest and closes his eyes.

In actuality, Jeno was confused. His sexuality was never something that he put much thought into. Jeno had always just assumed he was straight, so this whole thing felt strange to him— but in a good way. The boy didn't know what he liked exactly, but he knew he liked holding Jaemin and kissing him like this. That being said, he would choose to ignore labels for now.

"Nana..." Jeno starts, pulling Jaemin into his lap and twirling the short locks of blonde on top of the younger's head, picking up on the smell of his hair— which resembled coconuts and the dried rainwater from earlier. "I may not know very much, even about myself, but I know that I want you to feel like the most special boy in the world, because it's what you deserve."

Jaemin secretly had a hunch that Jeno would be a sweetheart in romantic scenarios such as this one, but he was exceeding his expectations. Jeno was tender and careful. He reminded Jaemin of a giant teddy bear. 

"I think I know how you can start." Jaemin speaks lowly, his eyes shutting halfway with a dreamy expression. 

Jeno hums, tilting his head as if to ask 'how?'

Jaemin lifts a finger and taps the center of his pink lips a couple times. "Kiss me again." He chuckles, adding in a tiny wink and a chuckle. 

The older smiles and does as he's told, leaning in once more. If given the chance, he could see himself here for hours upon hours, just talking and delivering slow kisses to the younger. It felt so right, and it made his heart race— he felt so alive. It was like nothing else mattered as long as he was able to pamper Jaemin and make him feel appreciated. 

One of the palms around Jaemin's waist is moved down to his thigh and it starts rubbing back and forth, producing just a bit of heat with the motion. Jaemin felt like he was in heaven. For a while, he thought that he would wake up only to find out that it was all a figment of his imagination. However, Jaemin quickly learned that this was indeed very real. 

Even though it was true, all good things must come to an end.

Out of nowhere, the door to Jeno's bedroom flies open and displays a tall, suit-clad figure standing in the hallway. Jaemin's breath stops as he glances over at the appalled-looking man holding a report card in his hand, staring down at the two boys in shock— one being half-naked, and the other, his own son. 

"Dad?!" Jeno breaks away from Jaemin immediately, looking horrified upon his presence. "I didn't think you'd be coming home so—"

"Lee Jeno what the fuck is this?!" His dad cuts him off with a question while gesturing towards the pair on the floor, a scowl evident on his face. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" He asks, raising his voice to a level more than what Jaemin was comfortable with. He could predict this wouldn't be good.

Neither of them dare to open their mouths in response. Jeno looks away from his father shamefully, as if making eye contact with the man would cause instant death. He was mortified, to say the least. Absolutely traumatized that his dad had walked in on them like that.

"Get him out of here and come downstairs right now, I need to have a word with you." Mr.Lee commands in a chilled voice that causes a lump to rise into the base of Jeno's throat. "Obviously about more than just your grades." He adds, gaze drilling into the stranger on Jeno's floor. 

"Yes, sir." The brunette gulps, his voice coming out all weak and cracked. His father walks out of the room and slams the bedroom door behind him, shaking some of photos or trinkets hanging on the walls. 

Jeno curls up with his palms over his face as he brings his knees to his chest and whines. "Oh my god he's going to fucking kill me." He says.

Jaemin doesn't know what to think. Everything happened so fast and it felt like the last hour had merged together to create a single, long eternity of confusion. He wanted answers to the limitless questions swarming his head, but there was obviously no time for that now. He would have to wait. 

The light-haired student grabs his shirt and his wet clothes from earlier before slipping on his backpack and walking to the bedroom door, not even bothering to clean up their project. Jeno's dad wanted him gone now, so he had no time to waste unless he wanted Jeno's consequences to be even worse than they were already looking out to be.

"Wait," Jeno gets up and opens his closet, pulling out a large hoodie and handing it to Jaemin, still wanting to make sure that the latter got home safely— which was the least he could do at the moment. "It's wet out there, take this."

Jaemin accepts the hoodie with a small nod, removing his bag for a moment in order to slip it over his head. It was much too big for him due to his weight, and the sleeves came all the way over his finger tips, but at least he would be comfortable on his miserable walk back to the apartment. 

"I'll show myself out. Goodbye, Jeno, see you at school." Jaemin presses his lips into a thin line, suddenly feeling awkward and distanced. 

"Yeah, bye." Jeno runs a hand through his hair, making sure to walk over and raise to his tiptoes to plant a final, brisk peck on Jaemin's forehead before pulling the hood over his head, wanting to keep the younger from getting cold in the downcast evening. "Stay safe." He says.

And Jaemin leaves feeling all twisted in a bittersweet mixture of melancholy and wonder.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> on today’s episode of ‘is this character homophobic?’ we have : jeno’s dad !!
> 
> ps. thank you for all the recent support :) <3

Fighting what seems to be an endless series of yawns and an unshakable, drowsy state, Jaemin finds himself arriving at school earlier than usual the next morning, accompanied by the large dark circles under his eyes. Due to last night's events, Jaemin hadn't been able to catch a lick of sleep, and he was sure that he'd pay the price for it in class today— probably in math, if anywhere. 

Math was boring, and his teacher spoke in such a monotone voice during her lectures, how could he be blamed?

Jaemin thought that he would have accommodated to lack of sleep by now, after spending most nights staring at his wall and thinking in depth of everything that came to him, but he was still tired— almost all the time at this rate. It would be somewhat concerning to most, but Jaemin paid no mind.

Despite his struggle to stay awake, his fingers tap along the keyboard in the center of the desk placed just inside the computer lab. The woman at the desk had taken a few minutes to go catch breakfast in the cafeteria, and it reminded Jaemin that he was quite hungry himself— but he stayed, as had to get this report written for the history project.

For obvious reasons, Jeno and Jaemin weren't able to make much progress on their invention yesterday, and the whole thing was starting to stress Jaemin out. The due date was next Friday, and things weren't looking favorable all the way up to now in terms of completion. Unfortunately, since the class had so much time to work on it, there would be no acceptance of late projects— which would have saved Jaemin a lot of time if possible because then he wouldn't have to work as vigorously during these upcoming days. 

Jaemin had discovered a long time ago that he worked best during this time of the day, in the morning. It was strange, considering he was never much of a morning person— hence his habitual dependency on coffee— but he had the most determination in the early hours of the day. 

Not to mention his continuous fascination with the sunrise. That was the only part of waking up at dawn that he liked, being able to gawk at the incredible colors exploding before his eyes. The way they blended in the sky was always something he admired from afar. Sometimes he'd question whether or not he would ever see something so beautiful up close in his lifetime. 

And he did.

He saw Jeno, who— according to his standards— was practically a blessing on earth in the form of a teenage boy. 

Jaemin wasn't sure what the terms of their strange relationship were anymore, especially after the previous day's excitement, but he now knew that he could trust the older. After all, he ended up being the only person besides Jaemin and his mom to know the details of Jaemin's biggest secret. 

Interrupting Jaemin's thoughts, he catches a glimpse of two boys— seemingly hand in hand— passing the classroom window. Jaemin squints his eyes, unable to decipher who they are thanks to the height of the glass and the speed at which they're traveling. All he can tell is that one of them has messy brown hair and the head next to him has jet black. Jaemin also observes that one with darker hair was slightly taller than the other. 

Staring into the hallway for a few more moments, trying to process what he just saw, Jaemin is startled when Renjun bursts into the lab looking distressed as per usual. His posture was alert, and the expression on his face alone would have inclined you to take him as someone with mild paranoia. 

"Renjun? Who was that out there?" Jaemin rolls his chair off to the side of the desk and greets his friend by pulling over another for him to sit on. Renjun takes a seat gratefully with a carton of chocolate milk in his grasp and raises one of his eyebrows in question.

"Where?" He asks, his breath slowing as he looks around at the surrounding tables and technology equipment in the room. "I don't see anything."

"Outside! There were two people who ran down the hall but I couldn't tell who they were." Jaemin explains, scratching the back of his neck. "It was weird." He says, taking a small pause that lasts a few seconds. "Have you seen Donghyuck this morning?"

"No?" Renjun replies, which really comes out sounding more like a question. "But he's usually not here until right before the first bell rings anyways. He has a tendency to sleep in most of the time." The black haired boy adds, making nothing of the situation. 

Jaemin stays silent and nods slowly in understanding. Letting the conversation die down, he turns back to the monitor in front of him and continues to type his report. His eyes scan over every letter, making sure to produce the best writing and explanations he could. 

"I thought you did that yesterday, didn't you?" Renjun inquires, taking a closer look at the title of the assignment and scrunching his features in confusion. "That's why you went home with Jeno— in the rain, I might add. How was that by the way? Did you get inside alright?" He leans back in his chair, facing Jaemin once again. 

The clicking noises come to a halt and Jaemin is staring blankly at the screen, trying to decide whether or not to go into detail about what actually happened. He felt like Renjun was rather trustworthy, but was it enough? Who's to say that Renjun wouldn't suddenly snap and stab him in the back to earn some kind of advantage? It was hard telling with people these days, even those you think you know. 

'Honesty is the best policy,' Jaemin reminds himself. 

"Can you keep a secret?" Jaemin turns his chin in the direction of the older boy, who starts to nod in response, still lost. Renjun opens his mouth to speak, but his words are cut short when the blonde places an index finger over the middle of Renjun's lips, signaling for him to sit and listen. Renjun obeys, rather dogmatic, and shuts up. 

Jaemin cracks his knuckles, loosening up his joints and wiping his hands nervously on his pants with a sigh. "Okay so, we didn't end up working on history last night, but I may or may not have kissed Jeno... and he may or may not have kissed back." He whispers, making sure to keep the distance at which his words could potentially end up in the ears of others at a minimum. "We kind of sat there for a while until his dad came home from work early and walked in on us."

Renjun's eyes widen and the younger can tell that he's about to let out the most abnormal screech known to man, so he slaps a palm over Renjun's mouth in an attempt to keep him quiet. The junior struggles in his grasp, fighting to get free, but ultimately gives up after some time and just sits there, blinking.

"You have to be quiet or someone else will find out!" Jaemin hisses under his breath, finally letting go of Renjun when the latter offers him a thumbs up. "You're lucky I'm even letting you know." He scoffs, picking at his fingernails subconsciously. 

"Wow..." Is all Renjun can say as he sits and bores his gaze into Jaemin with a sense of awe. "I usually wouldn't care about things like this.. but you're telling me that you made out with one of the star basketball players?! Like— are you dating now?" He asks, growing more energetic with each syllable spilling out of his tiny body.

"I don't think so." Jaemin shakes his head with a subtle shrug. "We never really specified."

The mind-blown boy in front of him quiets down, getting lost in his own imagination before he's dragged back out by Jaemin changing the subject.

"Anyways, why did you rush in here like that earlier? You scared me." Jaemin pipes up, remembering how he thought that Renjun was going to scream upon entering only a few minutes ago. 

"Oh right!" The light of remembrance shimmers in Renjun's irises, and he holds up a single index finger as his mouth pops open. "I got asked to the winter formal." Renjun smiles, showing off his pretty teeth. 

"That's great Ren—"

"I rejected them though." He chuckles, lifting the carton of milk to his lips and taking a long sip from it. "I was initially going to go with Hyuck— but he said he already has a date, and Jisung and Chenle are going to go separately and meet up while they're there. You can't go because you got suspended earlier this year..." Renjun's voice trails off as he looks into space.

"So why didn't you say 'yes' to the person who asked you?" Jaemin questions. 

"Because it was my ex who asked me." Renjun rolls his eyes in annoyance, obviously bothered by whoever it was. "And I don't want to get back into that, you know? It would just open a locked door."

"Who is it?"

Renjun smirks, tossing his milk into the nearby trash can and glancing up at the clock, noting that the bell would ring in a few seconds. "That's for me to know and you to find out, Nana. I'll tell you some other time."

Jaemin logs off of the computer and turns it off, standing up to put on his backpack and stepping towards the door. "You came all the way here to run in and let me know that someone asked you to the dance, and then not even tell me who it was?" He opens the door and lets Renjun flow into the hallway after him. "Is that right?"

"I suppose you could put it that way." Renjun deadpans, the sound of the first period bell resonating above.

—

"Good evening— oh... hi Dad." Jeno looks up from behind the glass counter with a damp rag in his hand, as he had been wiping down the surface before the man came into the gas station. "Why are you here? I thought I was walking like usual." He states, throwing the piece of cloth into its place under the cash register.

"I wanted to drive you home apologize." He fumbles absentmindedly with a key chain hanging on display. "I know I overreacted a bit last night in the kitchen, but I hope you know I don't really mean that. You and I are not too different you know," He shows his son a familiar half-smile, "losing our filters when we get mad."

Jeno exhales with a lighthearted snicker, locking up the register for the night. He doesn't speak, he merely listens to his father and soaks up his sincerity. It was rare that the latter was this open with how he felt, or that he would swallow his pride and offer an apology, but Jeno enjoyed being able to talk to him when he was like this.

"I'm only worried, Jeno. You're very smart and your grades are falling short of my expectations, but I don't think you should be too hard on yourself about it. It's not like you're failing every class or anything..." He reasons, shocking Jeno a little bit. "You're responsible, and you work hard. I'm proud of you." He says with a nod, still refusing to make eye contact.

It had been forever since Jeno last received such a compliment from one of his parents, nonetheless affection in general— so you can imagine how surprised he is when his dad makes his way around the counter and gives him a big hug.

They stand there in each other's embrace. Mr.Lee was a closed-off businessman who suppressed his feelings for a living. The only person who had the opportunity to see him vulnerable was Jeno's mom when they were facing rough patches in their marriage. That being said, Jeno knew it took a lot to crack his dad open into talking about matters as irrelevant as emotion. 

"And about the boy—" Mr.Lee's form tightens a little around the teen as he inhales. "I can't recall what you said his name was, but you really like him, don't you?" He chuckles and places a few pats on Jeno's back.

Jeno is hesitant, a solemn expression taking over him. 

"Yes." He finally replies. Making sure to keep his voice stern. He wanted his dad to know that he was earnest, even if it did sound funny coming from someone who was only a baby in the eyes of society at an unimpressive seventeen. Jeno was well aware that love was taken all too lightly at that age, but it wouldn't stop him from expressing how he felt.

"Well..." His dad pulls away slowly and Jeno feels his heart drop to his stomach in fear. However, he didn't care about the consequences anymore. Jenohad put up with too much shit over Jaemin already. Whether it consisted of Daeshim or some jealous girls trying to trash the blonde's reputation, or what was left of it, he was getting used to having to defend his relations with him. He'd do it as many times as it takes too.

What comes out of Mr.Lee's mouth next is far from what Jeno braced himself for. 

"I'll have to meet him properly sometime then." He hums a delighted tune.

And like that, Jeno is floored, stunned, speechless at his father's words. This was the same man who had spent an hour scolding him last night over this exact topic, but now he wanted to meet Jaemin? Jeno wasn't sure what kind of divine spirit crawled into his dad's head and switched around a few gears in there, but he would forever be thankful and in debt to it. 

"But I thought you said—" He starts, only to get interrupted.

His dad puts his hands on his hips and walks off to stare at a promotional poster next to the door, too ashamed of how he acted previously to face Jeno with his prompted spiel. "—That I don't want you seeing him, yes, I know. But I've thought on it all day and, while it's a bit strange to me," He admits, "I'm willing to allow it if you continue to study the best you can. As long as he doesn't get in the way of your education or your basketball games, you can have a... boyfriend."

"Seriously?!" Jeno exclaims, not buying it in the slightest.

"Do I look like I'm being serious right now?" Mr.Lee turns back around with a goofy grin that, in fact, looked to be the very opposite of what Jeno would normally consider 'serious.'

"Not really..." Jeno admits, stirring a heavy laugh from the man across the room. 

"I am." He confirms. "I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it, Nono. I'm a man of my word." He puffs out his chest dramatically, trying to lighten the mood. 

Jeno soared over the big, bright moon that evening as soon as those sentences departed from his dad's lips. He felt nice knowing that his parents— well at least one of them— would support him. "What about Mom? What will she think?" Jeno presses, remembering that his mother barely knew anything about the situation, only what she overheard last night, which wasn't much, maybe just the part about Jeno's report card.

Jeno's dad makes a small 'pft' noise and waves his hand in the air carelessly like it wasn't even an issue the young boy should dwell on. "She'll agree with whatever I say, don't worry about your mother."

"Thank you, Dad." Is all Jeno can muster through his dazed, unbelieving state. 

"You don't have to thank me for being a decent human being, Jeno. You're still my son, and I love you." They finally lock eyes, and it's very clear that Mr.Lee is trying his best to appear as caring as possible even though it was hard for him. He looked uncomfortable, but what he said held truth. 

Jeno beams, whispering back a small 'I love you too,' before his dad cuts the bonding experience short by reminding him that his shift had been over for ten minutes already, saying that they should get going in order to catch dinner.

The father and son duo exit the building much closer than they had been only twenty-four hours ago. They get in the car and Jeno can't help but feel relieved upon the end of their discussion. A ginormous weight was lifted off of his chest with his dad's approbation, and it was amazing. 

He couldn't wait to blab on and on to Jaemin about it. 

It's not until they reach the parking spot in the driveway that one of them speaks up.

"What would have happened if I didn't interrupt you two?" Mr.Lee thinks aloud, amused at the possibility of embarrassing the boy in the passenger seat. When the brunette abstains from a response, he keeps going because well— it's what dads do. 

"I guess if you're with a guy I won't have to worry about becoming a grandpa this early."

"Dad!!" Jeno's face turns a vibrant shade of red, only worsening when the man lets out a strong cackle.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for delayed update !! I was busy all day and then I fell asleep while writing last night haha :’) <3

"Hey, can you pass me something to write with?" Jeno taps on the end of his chin with a soft patter, squinting his eyes at the model placed in the center of the library. "I need to add something to the blueprint before we continue building." He says, hoping to explain why he was abruptly stopping the construction of their invention. Jaemin nods.

Jeno and Jaemin had skipped lunch together that day in order to work on their history project and, hopefully, finish it. This time, working consisted of Jaemin printing off the final draft of the informative paper, and Jeno taking care of the invention diagram itself. Things were looking well so far, and both boys were moving diligently with their tasks— except for when Jeno stopped to go back and tweak small features— then he'd get sidetracked.

In all honesty, most of his 'mistakes' could have been written off as irrelevant, but Jeno was too busy channeling his inner perfectionist to realize that. 

"Yeah sure." Jaemin leans over the table a bit and retrieves a black, ballpoint pen before handing it to his partner with a small smile. Jaemin was happy to help.

The brunette twists off the cap and presses the tip to the drawing on his notebook, creating lines here and there to adjust what they would need to add or remove. Jaemin watches in pure amusement as Jeno subconsciously pulls his lips into a slight pucker. The older tries to divert all of his focus into what would be best for their grade, which Jaemin was appreciative of. Sitting up straight and leaning away from his work, Jeno furrows his eyebrows, unable to put his finger on what looked 'off.'

"You're so cute when you work." Jaemin coos, pressing his elbow further into the surface of the table when his chin rests on his palm. "Look at you! Doing such a good job." He praises. 

"You're cuter." Without missing a beat, Jeno looks up with shimmery, crescent-shaped eyes. He grins at the boy across the table, which in turn, causes tiny flecks of hot pink to be displayed on Jaemin's face.

"No, you're—"

"You're both disgusting when you flirt." Yeri cuts in from a few feet away, glancing up from her magazine with a fake gag that sounds more like a hairball. "I get that you have a 'blooming romance' or whatever but please spare me from having to watch it." She says, shutting up both of the juniors at once.

"Why did you come with us anyways?" Jaemin asks a few minutes later while typing on Jeno's laptop. He found it strange that Yeri offered to spend her lunch period with them when he knew for sure that Sunhee and Hana would be waiting for her like they always did.

"And what about your friends?" Jeno adds, clearly thinking the same as Jaemin. 

Yeri looks up at the ceiling and then back at the blonde, shrugging her shoulders. "I just wanted to. Don't worry, they'll be fine without me for a day."

The table grows quiet again and Jeno continues to draw out his plans as he sculpts out the design. Jaemin completes their informative paper, printing it out with only slight intervention from the librarian— who harshly claimed he had no idea how to work a printer. Things were going well, and there was still around fifteen minutes left before the fourth period bell. 

It was therapeutic almost, being able to sit in a peaceful area with your friends and be productive. 

Until—

"Nana! Nono! ... Yeryer—? Anyways, how are you guys!?" Lucas enters the library and greets the trio, only to immediately be scolded by the woman behind the counter for making so much noise. He apologizes briefly and then scoots a chair right up to Jaemin's side, sitting down to see what everyone was doing.

"Well I'm kind of just watching Jeno now that I've finished the writing portion." Jaemin admits.

"Oh! Do you think you can read my literature assignment then? I need to revise it, but I'm not exactly sure what to fix." Lucas requests, not even waiting for Jaemin to answer before he grabs his laptop out of his backpack and pulls up the typed document. 

He sure left no room for objections. Jaemin fights a sigh but decides to give it a shot anyways. 

Jaemin pulls the device in front of him and begins skimming through the blocks of text Lucas had prepared. It quickly becomes difficult however, due to Lucas holding his head directly in front of the screen, his cheek pressed up against Jaemin's. He was getting really close— too close for Jaemin to breathe comfortably. 

A pair of dark eyes darts up to their frames being pushed together as a scowl is hidden behind the seemingly neutral expression. Yeri, who is simply observing the scene, compresses a snicker. 

When he's done, Jaemin turns to Lucas kindly with a simper. "It looks really good as of now, but if I were you, I'd remove some of the adverbs. They can get a little excess if you use too many, only keep the important ones." 

Lucas beams, wrapping his arms around Jaemin's frame and bringing him into a tight hug. "Thanks man!" He cheers, not even noticing the glare he's receiving from only a few feet away. The action causes the tips of Jeno's fingers to curl into his palms in an irritated fashion. There was a strange feeling bubbling in his stomach, and it wasn't hunger.

Jaemin catches Jeno's aggravation in his peripheral vision and slowly draws himself away from the clingy senior. "Are you alright, Jeno? You're looking kind of tense." He comments, concerned that the older was getting envious. 

"What? No, I'm fine." Jeno answers halfheartedly, just barely reassuring enough to let Jaemin dismiss his behavior and turn back to his own conversation. 

He wasn't fine. Jeno wasn't stupid either, he knew when someone was flirting and when they were just trying to be nice. Lucas was riding on that thin line, and it was making Jeno uneasy— he would have been surprised if Jaemin wasn't feeling invaded as well.

Lucas doesn't catch the hint.

"So Jaemin, I was wondering if you wanted to go roller skating with me sometime soon?" Lucas continues to press further to the edge, still not picking up that he was being seen as pushy at this point. "It'll be a lot of fun. We can play air hockey! I'll win though." He shows off a charming smirk. The others had noticed he had a tendency to inflate his own ego.

"I don't know, skating isn't really my thing." Jaemin deadpans, uninterested in the activity. It wasn't that he didn't want to go with Lucas, but he wasn't a fan of skidding across a shiny floor with the possibility of a serious accident going down. 

"You'll like it, trust me." 

"I can't—"

"Please?" Lucas pleads while poking out his bottom lip like a child, letting the 'e' linger in the air for a few extra seconds. "You can bring your fr—"

"He said no, Yukhei." Jeno barks, sitting up straight and appearing to be alert at last, not even caring enough to hold himself back anymore. He intentionally makes good use of the senior's real name, knowing that it would sound more stern. "What part of that don't you understand?" He asks, sounding a lot more aggressive than he originally intended. 

Lucas blinks. He wasn't used to seeing Jeno get so worked up, especially over him. The two had been on good terms since their first impressions and the fact that Jeno was mad at him now was a bit disheartening to say the least. The red-faced brunette was one of the most cool-minded people Lucas knew. It took a lot for Jeno to reach his breaking point. 

"Do you have a problem with me?" Lucas inquires, looking rather offended at Jeno's sudden change in tone from the usual. "I was talking to Jaemin, not you... are you jealous?"

As Jaemin's friend, Lucas didn't think Jeno had the right to step in over their discussion like that, in fact, he found it disrespectful. If Jaemin were to keep refusing his offer, Lucas would have backed away respectfully, he didn't have to be scolded like a little kid. 

"Do you want me to be honest?"

"Of course, or else I wouldn't have asked." Lucas muses, mocking the younger. 

"I know that you mean well, but you need to back up a bit, Jaemin's uncomfortable with you breathing down his neck like that— you can literally see it in his face." Jeno gestures towards the awkward expression Jaemin was wearing. The blonde sits blankly, unsure as to whether he should step in and break them up or not. He chooses the latter.

Lucas rolls his eyes in annoyance at the headstrong junior's attitude. "Why don't you let Jaemin speak for himself, hm? He doesn't need you ready to save him at all times. You're his friend, not his damn babysitter, Jeno."

Jaemin widens his eyes as the two start to raise their voices at each other, firing passive-aggressive comments back and forth like bullets. Jaemin decides not to intervene, abstaining from potentially upsetting either of them. Lucas was— a bit overwhelming, yes, but his intentions were good. And Jeno, well, he just appeared to be misinterpreting Lucas as someone covetous. 

Yeri, for one, being completely withdrawn from the issue at hand, was having the time of her life. To her, their verbal jabs might as well have been comedic commentary. Between every other sentence, you could hear Yeri laughing quietly to herself— only making the whole thing seem more lighthearted than it actually was to the two basketball players. 

Lucky for Jaemin, the bell rings, and Lucas bids a short goodbye before leaving the library altogether. Jeno packs up his own things, visually upset as he tells Jaemin to stay there for a minute, so he can walk him to class. Yeri hugs Jaemin and then also departs, leaving the two youngest alone around the wooden table. 

Together, they walk to Jaemin's math class, Jeno clutching onto Jaemin's hand and intertwining their fingers. A few people stop and stare, but for the most part, everyone minds their own business, too focused on reaching their classrooms to pay any mind to the boys holding hands.

"Jeno," Jaemin speaks when they reach the turn in the hallway just before his class, "you didn't have to get so mad at Lucas. I would have taken care of it, I promise, but I do appreciate you being worried. I really don't think he was trying to be flirty though—"

"He was all over you, Jaemin." Jeno deadpans, still holding on to the smaller's fragile hand and rubbing small circles over his knuckles gently. "Look I'm sorry for acting like that I just—"

Jaemin tilts his head, waiting for Jeno to continue.

"I just kind of wanted us to be exclusive." Jeno admits shyly with a whisper, breaking eye contact to look at the wall beside them in embarrassment.

Jaemin's mouth falls into a circular shape. "Wait do you mean we're officially—"

"Yes and no. Probably soon?" Jeno says, his answer coming out more like a question. "I'll explain it better later, but I'm still trying to adjust to liking a guy. I'm really confused right now, and I don't want to start anything without knowing exactly how I feel. But I also really like you, and I can't imagine either of us seeing anyone else. It might sound selfish but, will you wait for me?"

The blonde smiles, his heart speeding up yet again— it was a feeling he was slowly starting to adjust to. "Of course I will, take as much time as you need. They say good things are worth waiting for." He replies sweetly, his words laced with an airy chuckle. 

Jeno grins right back before embracing Jaemin and thanking him. The two promise to talk later and then Jeno parts, leaving Jaemin behind with a bright mood. Lucas was nowhere to be found in his head anymore. 

—

Donghyuck, Renjun, and Jaemin all gather at the front door after their last period and talk about their evening plans— or the lack thereof. 

"I have nothing to do." Donghyuck whines. "This town is so boring, I swear."

"Do you think you have come over tonight?" Renjun shuts his locker with his backpack slung over his shoulders. He looked tired, but he was still willing to spend time with his friends— even if they did annoy him on most occasions. "We can watch movies or something and I'll ask my mom to order pizza."

"I can't, I'm busy." Hyuck replies— instantly contradicting what he last said, much to the others' suspicion. Donghyuck was growing more and more questionable by the day, but nobody had any idea why. All they knew was that he seemed to be around less often, and when he was with them, he just acted weird.

"You're busy doing nothing?" Renjun raises an eyebrow, almost fed up with how secretive the boy was being as of late. "What are you going to be doing then?" 

"It's a surprise!" Donghyuck exclaims, not dropping any hints whatsoever and making his friends frustrated. 

"Whatever, have fun I guess." Renjun breathes out, attempting to prevent himself from getting a headache like he usually did when trying to make sense out of Donghyuck. "So what about you, Jaemin?"

Jaemin nods casually. "Yeah, why not?"

Down the hall, Lucas is in route to the gymnasium for practice when he catches wind of the boys talking. He turns his head slightly, stopping in his tracks to take in the view of the lively group.

Lucas's eyes draw to one of the students in particular. In reaction, he feels a sharp ping in his chest. The junior was so bright and stunning, ethereal even. His voice slid over everyone else's like honey and Lucas swears he could listen to him talk for hours upon end without growing bored even once. The senior was aching. 

He didn't understand why the younger was so hard to reach. No matter what he tried or did, he just couldn't find any sort of communication channel that seemed to work. He was determined to ignore Lucas and all of his advances. It hurt. 

It hurts when the person you would have once went to for anything turns away from you. It feels like a slap in the face, especially when they seem so much happier after abandoning you. But it was the circle of life, people come and go, and Lucas knew there was nothing he could do about it.

Nonetheless, he decides not to ponder on it too long, as he still had things he needed to do for the rest of day. He shakes his head, tearing his heart away from the boy down the hall who very obviously held it in his hands. He tries to ignore the empty feeling he has, but it's resting on the brink of impossible with every invasive thought and memory that rushes to him. 

Why was Huang Renjun so unfairly beautiful?


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is being published on the first day of pride month, coincidence? I think not

Secrets are meant to be kept. Despite this, they usually end up coming out anyways.

On Friday morning, Jaemin treads through the school hallway, finding it hard to keep his head up with the weight of exhaustion pressing his shoulders. Unfortunately for Jaemin, he had spent half of the night reviewing different formulas for his math test today. It didn't help that he had trouble sleeping to begin with, nonetheless after attempting to cram information into your head, panicking at the thought of failure. 

He's almost a foot into the cafeteria when he realizes the plethora of students gathered at the end of the main hallway near the janitor's closet. Something about seeing everyone huddled up like that didn't sit well with Jaemin, and he figured that there had to be some kind of issue at hand for that to happen. His feet naturally start to drag him without much thought. With sneakers squeaking lightly on the ground from the puddles of rain outside from last night's storm, he makes his way to the busy scene.

As for the students themselves, their words were loud, but yet none of them made sense. Everyone's banter was squashed together into a mix of vocabulary, sounding like fluent gibberish rather than anything understandable. This only heightened Jaemin's curiosity.

Jaemin quirks an eyebrow, being unable to resist the feeling brewing in his stomach. He was never someone who took time out of his day to indulge in gossip or things like that, but slowly and surely, he walks up to the heart of the miniature crowd. When he reaches the center after accidentally elbowing a few people out of the way, he understands why there's so much commotion.

Piled up in the closet were two students, and one of them was Mark Lee. Star basketball player and perfect student, it was shocking to say the least. Nobody took Mark as someone who would willingly make out in the closet before school, but here he was in all of his glory. His shirt was slightly wrinkled from where someone had clutched on to the fabric, and it was obvious that a pair of hands had crawled through his messy hair.

The best part of it all?

Donghyuck was sitting on the ground right next to him, his state almost as unkempt as the athlete's. 

Mark looked mortified at the appearance of everyone standing out in the hallway, and Donghyuck directly mirrored this, appearing to be on what looked like the verge of tears. It was almost like a staring contest, the two parties leering at each other with the same amount of confusion in their gaze. 

Jaemin has to blink a couple times to confirm that it's real, spoiler alert— it is. It was hard to believe that this is what Donghyuck had been hiding, but at the same time it made perfect sense. The cheerful attitude, the inability to make plans, that afternoon in the library... it all added up to equate to a secret relationship.

"What are you all looking at?" Mark's cheeks burn a bright red as he faces everyone in front of them. "Don't you have anything better to do?!" He raises his voice while trying to ward them off, but to no avail. This scene was far more interesting than any work the rest of the student body had to do, meaning that they were all fully engaged.

Jaemin makes brief eye contact with Donghyuck and the older breaks his gaze in shame, redirecting his attention to the tiled floor under him.

A tall figure pushes its way through the bodies swarming the pair and Daeshim clears an area in front of the janitor's closet, seeming more upset than surprised. The look on his face sent chills down Jaemin's spine, and he instantly knew this wouldn't be a pretty sight for either of the exposed boys. 

The ravenette gulps down the lump in the back of his throat and tightens the corners of his lips, preparing himself for confrontation. Truth be told, Mark wasn't actually scared of Daeshim himself, but the fact that others were watching was what made him apprehensive. For someone as locally renowned as Mark Lee was, he sure wasn't the best when it came to talking in front of a lot of people. 

"Mark, what the hell is this? You're supposed to be in practice!" Daeshim seethes. Ever since his breakup with Yeri, the senior had been more ruthless than usual, and he seemed to be a bit more down— to put it simply. "What are you doing in there?!"

Mark clutches his fist, but his extemporaneous explanation proves to be all in vain when he can't express himself properly. He was getting too flustered, and it was taking a toll on his ability to speak. "I'm— we were— I actually— Look—"

"Spit it out already!" Daeshim commands, feeling as if he'd go insane without some kind of clarification right this instant.

"Oh my god I'm gay!" Mark shouts, frustrated that he couldn't get his words out. Tears sting his eyes as his voice echoes off the walls of the hallway and into everyone's ears. "I'm gay and I'm dating Donghyuck! Happy now?!"

He looks down and puts his head in his hands in a stressed fashion. Donghyuck leans forward a bit, putting a hand on the small of Mark's back and massaging the area, trying to get him to stay composed. Mark's body trembles a bit, overwhelmed.

As for everyone else, they fall silent and many jaws hit the floor in shock at the random coming-out from the basketball player. It was slightly rumored that Mark was seeing someone, but everyone had expected it to be Sunhee, surely not a male— especially Donghyuck of all boys. If Mark Lee was gay, then there was probably a chance at anyone being gay considering Mark was the straightest boy in existence. 

"You're... what?" Daeshim asks, appalled.

"You heard me." Mark looks back up at the boy with his dark brows pressed into a grimace. "Donghyuck is my boyfriend, and I really like him." He repeats. 

"Are you serious?"

Mark doesn't answer verbally, but instead, he reaches down and intertwines his own fingers with Donghyuck's. He then juts his chin forward to see Daeshim once again with an expression that the older was tempted to walk right over and slap off his face. Due to the crowd surrounding them, he restrains. He'd save a majority of his scolding for later during practice.

"I can't believe you." Daeshim scoffs. During the entirety of their friendship over the past five years, he had known Mark to be just as homophobic as himself. It made him wonder how many other gays there were on the basketball team. "Are any of the other guys like that?" He turns and faces the bodies standing around him.

Everyone looks around the room, waiting for someone to speak up. Lord knew what would happen to Mark if he was found to be in this alone. Inside the closet, Mark mentally crosses his fingers, hoping that somebody else would stand up for him. 

Jaemin's breath hitches when he catches Jeno's gaze. It looks like there's something resting on the tip of his tongue— but another force is holding him back. Fear maybe? Uncertainty? Jaemin couldn't tell, but it looked like Jeno was struggling. In any other circumstance, Jaemin would have ran to the older's side to give him a hug in an instant upon spotting that expression. 

All of a sudden, Jisung steps forward, grabbing Chenle's hand tightly. All eyes in the room turn towards the pair and a few whispers are heard from inside the depths of the students. Some sweet, some cruel, it didn't matter either way. Jisung was proud of who he was and who he was dating, and that's what was important at the time— not other's opinions. 

Daeshim opens his mouth to speak, but it cut off when Lucas also takes a broad step into the circle. "Technically bisexual, but yeah." He says, stirring sympathy from some of the girls watching who all had undeniable crushes on the senior. Lucas had always been popular with the female population of the school— and now was no exception. 

"You're all ridiculous." Daeshim scrunches his face in disgust, revolted at the thought of these people being interacting with him. "This is unacceptable."

Jeno doesn't move.

Nobody moves. 

And for a moment, time stops.

Mark is the first one to crack through the quiet atmosphere, daring to speak. "What are you going to do? Kick us all off the team? Be honest, you need us to play for you no matter what our sexual orientations are."

"It doesn't mean I have to be friends with you." Daeshim spits, sounding as hateful as ever. Part of Jaemin wanted to laugh, it was almost like the older was just upset he couldn't find love like the rest of them could— well maybe except for Lucas. 

"Okay?" Mark shrugs. "You say that like it'll really mean much."

Even Donghyuck is surprised at Mark's sudden attitude, but he was also proud. After seeing Mark for a few weeks now, he never got to witness him standing up for himself— especially to Daeshim. This was a good change, and it was probably because he was fighting for something he really wanted. Donghyuck's face twinkles with admiration for a moment as he listens to Mark. 

"Whatever." Daeshim rolls his eyes into the back of his head before turning to walk away. "Don't talk to me."

"Didn't plan on it." Mark snarls, only to feel his shoulders being massaged by Donghyuck, who was trying to prevent him from getting too angry.

—

Jaemin and Jeno present their work that day in class and it's actually not as much of a train wreck as either boy thought it would be. In fact, it was quite the contrary. The whole class was hanging on to their words the entire time, which was something that was incredibly rare. Their teacher had even praised them at the end of the period, saying that their project was rather impressive by her standards.

Part of Jaemin felt bittersweet about their project being over. On one hand, he didn't have to spend hours upon hours working in his room on the same historic invention— but on the other, he didn't have an excuse to talk to Jeno in class anymore like the two had done for a while now. Neither would get in trouble for it before since they were partners, but now there was no reason for the whispers and giggles rising from their desks. 

It was weird how this assignment was what sprouted their friendship. If you would have told Jaemin four months ago that he would be this close with Lee Jeno, he would have never believed you. The older was always a mere bystander when Daeshim was slamming him up against the lockers. However, thanks to their assigned partnership for the entire quarter, they were forced to bond whether they liked it or not. 

Things were awkward and forced at first, but once the boys clicked, it became easy. Jaemin was shocked at how quickly he was able to open up to Jeno. The brunette was the first person who was patient and kind with him in a long time, so Jaemin may have just been a bit sensitive when it came to making friends, but he was grateful nonetheless. 

At lunch, Jaemin arrives at his usual lunch table only to find Mark sitting with them as well. He was seated next to Donghyuck with a neutral expression on his face. Donghyuck reaches over slyly and takes one of the baby carrots on his tray. Mark didn't look pleased, but was a pacifist, so he let it slide and giggles as Donghyuck chomps down on the vegetable with a sense of triumph floating around him. 

Jaemin sits down and adjusts his tray. Nobody told him that Mark would be joining, but it made sense after what happened this morning. He didn't care, though it did feel strange. Mark was also one of those 'bystanders' that would watch him put up with torment from Daeshim, so imagining Mark himself as a good person was somewhat difficult. But Jaemin also knew that you can't accurately judge everyone based on who their friends are, so he'd try to put that aside— for Donghyuck. 

Renjun, on the other hand, was clearly annoyed with the boy's presence. He was never particularly fond of Mark. They shared a few classes, and Mark raised his hand every five seconds, asking so many questions that Renjun would swear his ears were going to fall off. They never did, but it definitely wore his patience thin. 

"So why are you sitting with us again?" Renjun presses, glaring at Mark as if the latter had just kicked his dog. It wasn't that Mark was a bad person, but he was undeniably irritating. Popular and a teacher's pet? Renjun couldn't help but want to groan every time Mark opened his mouth. Not to mention he's friends with Lucas, which was only the cherry on top of the disastrous cake.

Mark blinks in response, picking up on the rude tone. He didn't know why Renjun seemed to hold something against him, but then again, Renjun appeared to have a problem with most— if not all— people, so he didn't think much of it. 

"Well I mean I guess since I'm out now—" Mark starts, only to be interrupted. He sighs, watching as Renjun turns to Hyuck to question him instead.

"Donghyuck, why are you dating this ditz?" He asks, gesturing in the direction of Mark, who finds the jab to be a little insulting.

"I'm not a ditz!" He speaks up in his own defense, offended that Renjun thought so lowly of him even though the two barely knew each other— this was probably the first time they had even talked to each other in a year.

"You kind of are..." Donghyuck's voice trails off at the end when he catches Mark's disappointed shift of emotion. He grins a bit, reaching up to pinch his boyfriend on the cheek much like a mother would do to her child. "But it's okay because you're so cute— sometimes."

"What do you mean sometimes?!" Mark frowns, his face still being clasped by the younger boy's index finger and thumb. Donghyuck internally notes how squishy he is and giggles. "Let go of me." Mark whines as he turns red from both the embarrassment and the physical pressure. 

"I remain the cutest."

Jaemin smiles while listening in on their bickering. You could tell that they were dating. Their chemistry was amazing. Jaemin wonders how hard it was for them to hide their relationship when they were clearly so close— and it made him try to imagine how long they had actually been together. By the looks of it, you would expect it to be months. 

"I don't think I could sit with Daeshim even if I wanted to." Mark admits, going back to Renjun's question from earlier. "Hell, I may not even be able to attend his party next weekend at this rate." He says just before biting into a vibrant, red apple.

"Party?" Jaemin stops poking at the food with his fork and raises an eyebrow. "Daeshim's having a party?"

"Jeno didn't tell you about it?"

Jaemin shakes his head slowly. At least, he didn't recall anything about a party being mentioned when he spoke to Jeno. This was the first time he caught wind of it at all. 

"That's surprising." Mark says, putting the fruit back on his tray and clearing his throat to elaborate. "Well basically, a lot of the athletes host parties every year— I'm sure you've heard of them in the past— and we're having one next Friday. We usually have them at Daeshim's house or like— Mingi's. I don't enjoy them much because there's a lot of drinking and stuff— but I can't believe Jeno didn't ask you to go."

Truthfully, Jaemin couldn't see Jeno as someone who'd like attending those kinds of things. He was a role model student, not the type to partake in underage drinking. Then again, maybe there was a chance Jaemin didn't know everything about the older yet. 

"It doesn't sound like something I'd enjoy anyways." Jaemin shrugs, not wanting to think too hard about it. "Why do you go if you don't like it?"

"I'm part of the team, I do what they do, I guess." Mark admits.

Mark had always been like that throughout his childhood, following the crowd because it just seemed like the best thing to do. He only joined basketball in the first place because Daeshim asked him to when the two became freshman. Not wanting to let down his friend, he agreed. Three years later and he's still struggling under the clutches of the older boy.

Jaemin mindlessly twirls the pasta on his tray. He understood the want to please other people by doing what they wish, but he thought that situations like these were a bit too serious to sympathize with. Going to those parties sounded dangerous, so Mark shouldn't go if he doesn't feel like it. 

Part of him was thankful Jeno hadn't mentioned the party to him. He probably wouldn't be able to resist if he did, but Jaemin wasn't interested in going. Not only was it a party, but it was an athletes' party, meaning that all of his most feared faces would be in the same room, staring at him as if he were prey.

In the middle of Jaemin's internal debate, Mark spills his milk and Donghyuck laughs at him. Mark grumbles what sounds like a few curses under his breath while the boy beside him stands up and wipes down the table with some napkins. Nobody else flinches at the act, being accustomed to accidents happening at this table by now.

When sitting with Donghyuck, it was almost mandatory that you become immune to freaking out over every little problem. Jaemin thinks back to just last week when the older dropped his ice cream on the front of Renjun's shirt. The look Renjun have Donghyuck that day will forever be seared into his mind, and it was a miracle that Hyuck lived to see fourth period.

Jaemin feels someone looking at him and glances up at Jeno's table only to be met with the latter's eyes boring into him warmly. Jeno looked tired, exhausted even, but he still manages to throw a subtle wink and a smirk. 

The wink's recipient restrains a snicker as he turns it into a competition, blowing a kiss at Jeno only seconds later. He watches intently as Jeno widens his eyes and pretends to catch the kiss, pulling his fist into his chest and hugging it against his shirt.

"Gross." Renjun coughs, catching the exchange between the two and looking less than happy about it. He was trying to eat for christ's sake. "How long are you going to flirt across the cafeteria before you go over there and eat his face right in front of Daeshim's salad?"

Jaemin scoffs. "Shut up and stop being so bitter."

—

That evening, Jaemin takes the time to go visit Jeno on his shift. He thought that it would be nice to both see the boy and take the chance to get out of the apartment for a while. His mom's boyfriend was over, as per usual, and he thought that escaping to the gas station would be an easy way to avoid the couple. 

He still had stickers stacked up at home, but his initial plan was to just stall time and hang out by the cash register. Some would call it 'loitering', however, Jaemin called it 'admiring the piece of art that was the handsome employee.'

When Jaemin first pushes through the doors at the front of the store, Jeno has a customer. It's a little old lady who appeared to be making an emergency stop for some denture cream. Jaemin catches Jeno's eyes flick in his direction just before Jaemin walks over to the chip aisle and waits for the woman to leave. 

When she does, the younger boy slides over to the register and leans on the counter with a friendly smile. "Hey Nono." 

"Hey Nana." Jeno smiles, scanning over Jaemin's form. "You're wearing my hoodie?" He asks, remembering how Jaemin went home with his hoodie that day they were supposed to be working on their project. In the past week, he found himself wanting to go back to that day just to relive the feeling he had. The irreplaceable, exhilarating sensation that lingered on his skin long after Jaemin left.

"It's comfortable." The blonde confirms with a nod as he curls his fingers into the ends of the red sleeves. "But don't be afraid to tell me if you want it back." He says, making sure it doesn't feel like he's holding Jeno's clothes captive— even though he may have secretly wanted to.

Jeno whirls a careless hand in the air. "Don't worry about that. You look adorable in my things."

The room falls to a comfortable silence as the two stand there stealing sneak-peeks of one another. There were a million things Jaemin wanted to say— but he didn't even know where to start. He knew that it could be seen as foolish, but he was undeniably infatuated. 

Jeno shamelessly begins to look Jaemin up and down, not even trying to conceal it anymore. Jaemin wasn't even dressed up or anything like that, but he still appeared flawless. Jeno wasn't sure whether he was jealous or in awe of the younger's enchanting presence. 

He was so lucky.

So lucky to have someone like Jaemin interested in him and his plain self. Jaemin was extraordinary, and Jeno took himself as only— average. He felt gifted receiving attention from the younger.

He wanted to ask Jaemin out right that second, but there were too many questions in his head. Jeno wanted to ease into their relationship by figuring out himself first— but he promised both Jaemin and himself that it wouldn't be long before he finally put that aside. 

"So Mark said there's a party next weekend?" Jaemin speaks and then proceeds to chew on his bottom lip while awaiting Jeno's reply. He spent the entire day pondering on the idea of asking Jeno about the party, since he felt like he was breaching some kind of privacy by bringing it up— or at least crossing a line.

"Yeah, I don't want to go though." Jeno forces a weak half-smile and brushes a lock of hair out of Jaemin's eyes that had fallen over his face. "Usually it's 'required' for all team members to go— except for Jisung because he's a freshman— but I'm going to ask if I can be exempt this time."

"Do you think he'll let you?"

A look of disappointment spreads into Jeno's darkened features as he shakes his head. Jaemin knew that the older would most likely not want to attend the party— and the confirmation of his guess was somewhat relieving in a way. 

"I honestly doubt it." Jeno deadpans. "Would you be interested in going if I have to? I understand completely if you say 'no.'"

Jaemin didn't want to go.

But he did want to make Jeno happy.

"I'd have to think about it." Jaemin smiles softly, leaving leeway for him to end up picking either choice. He couldn't bring himself to decline right away, not when Jeno was making that face.

"If I don't have to go to the party, we should go out or something instead." Jeno offers, a light bulb flashing over his head. "Like a proper date." He says.

The suggestion causes Jaemin's heart to thump. He could imagine them both dressing nicely in order to spend an evening around town, possibly getting dinner. He wanted that. Jaemin would accept that in a second over any party. Just some quality time with Jeno was all he longed for. 

"I would like that."

Jeno chuckles before leaning down and grabbing Jaemin's chin with his index finger to press a gentle kiss to his lips. They were slightly chapped today, but they still tasted as sweet as last time. The kiss was incredibly short since they were in public, but it was enough to leave Jaemin on the tips of his toes wanting more. 

He could get used to this.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> party boys getting ready to party !!

"We're moving."

Jaemin looks up from his desk and turns towards his bedroom door to see his mother standing a few feet away. A mixture of confusion and disbelief forms a mask on his face as he raises one of his brows in question. It was evening, so he expected her to be gone for the night, or at least under some kind of influence.

"What do you mean?" Jaemin asks, setting his pencil on top of his homework. Ms.Na appeared to be stone-cold sober, which was a rare sight for Jaemin these days— not that he was complaining. 

She steps over to the young boy's bed and flattens the sheets with her palm before sitting down, her hands landing in her lap. She looked serious for once and it was admittedly frightening for her son, who spins his desk chair around to face her fully. His own mindset was already being dragged down by the dense atmosphere. 

"Eunseok wants to move in for good." She says. "He's going to live with us from now on, but he doesn't want to stay here in the city, so we're moving out of town. I just wanted to give you a heads up so you can get packed. I don't want it to be your fault that we have to stay longer."

Jaemin feels a lump rise into the base of his throat as he stares at her, his tongue feeling like it would dry out and shrivel up any second. He doesn't answer. How could he? He had just been told that soon he would have to abandon the things he had worked so desperately for in his current environment. And now he'd be with his destructive mother and her boyfriend all the time. What was he supposed to say?

"We have two weeks." Jaemin's mom stands up and walks back over to the door, not hesitating to take her leave. She didn't care. The fact that Jaemin had something he wanted for once didn't mean anything to her. Everything was replaceable in her eyes— but it wasn't to Jaemin.

His few friends that he managed to gather after three years of neglect. The grades that he pushed for despite wanting nothing more than to give up. The blooming relationship he was looking forward to...

Maybe for a little while, Jaemin thought that things would work out between Jeno and himself. He was being patient, just like Jeno asked him to— how was this fair? Moving away, there was no chance they'd be able to see each other. Nonetheless, build up a romance like they both wanted. He was a fool to fall for the sweet veil yet again, blindly expecting life to shine some light on him for once.

At this point, even living felt like a meaningless chore. Jaemin had adopted this mindset quite some time ago, but it kept getting worse. When he was sure something would work out, it would crack and tumble down at his feet as if everything he strived for was built on nothing but toothpicks to begin with. 

All of a sudden, it feels like Jaemin can't breathe. 

Doubts and heavy thoughts begin to clasp around his neck and Jaemin swears he's about to gasp for air when his mother walks away, slamming his bedroom door behind her. Jaemin's chest fills with the dull echo of her footsteps tapping down the hallway. This wasn't right. Nothing was right.

Why couldn't anything work out?

It doesn't take more than a second for Jaemin to decide he won't tell anyone. No matter what he said, it wouldn't change anything, so why bother? Besides, who's to say his friends wouldn't be happier without him? It wasn't like he had a major impact on them anyways. At the end of the day, his existence didn't make a difference.

The more he ponders on it, the more he begins to realize he hadn't done anything except cause problems for the people he claimed meant the most to him. Thinking back, he wasn't exactly the most stable— in fact, that's the reason he and Renjun met— so perhaps sticking around would only make them more susceptible to disappointment later when everyone found out the truth about Na Jaemin and his self-dubbed 'problematic tendencies.'

He wanted the best for those who stuck by his side, even if it meant allowing himself to be taken out of the picture. 

Maybe leaving his hometown wouldn't be a bad thing. After all, Jeno could find someone else to make him smile— someone who didn't brew as much worry in him as Jaemin did. 

If there was one thing the blonde didn't want to be, it was a burden— but he had subconsciously let himself become just that under the illusion of joy others had shown him in such a brief fashion. They gave him a faux sense of hope, and he was the one at fault for falling subject to it.

He should have known better, because thanks to himself, leaving was going to hurt like hell.

—

Unfortunately for Jaemin, Daeshim refuses to let Jeno— or even Mark— skip out on their annual house party. Jaemin debated with himself the entire week over whether he should show up or not, and at one point even went as far as to tell Jeno he was busy that day. Despite all of that, he still arrived at Donghyuck's house Friday night to get ready with everyone else.

As for the moving issue, Jaemin's mother was now forcing him to spend an unbearable amount of time with Eunseok. After only a short hangout session, Jaemin came to acknowledge that the man was not too different from her previous boyfriends, the only separation being that he handled his temper better— it was surprising, considering he was pursuing Jaemin's mom of all people.

It had been almost a week since he found out about leaving the city, and he still had yet to utter a word about it to anyone. He wondered when would be a good time to tell, as he only had a week left before they got in that car, ready to never turn back.

Looking into Jaemin's future, he had no idea what was in store for him once they reached the new place. The only thing he was sure of was that being constantly stuck to his mother's side sounded less than favorable. She was a tyrant for crying out loud. A drunken tyrant who was only interested in what would be most beneficial to herself. Jaemin was accommodated to it by now. 

He had questioned running away, but he would be killed if his mom ever found him— that was certain. Even if he were to successfully escape, he didn't know who he could turn to for residence. There was no way in hell he was about to put something like that on any of his friends— it would be selfish. 

Jaemin tried his hardest to smile, but the fake nature of it all seemed to leak through anyways and concern those around him. He couldn't count how many times on his fingers Jeno had taken the time to ask if he was feeling alright. Sometimes during lunch or in class, the brunette would pop up with a frown and grab his hand in an attempt to crack the quiet boy open, but it never worked.

The younger was far from okay. If anything, he was doing worse than ever. He was drowning. Swimming aimlessly with nowhere to go and the crashing waves around him seemed to grow more intense with every step he took. There was no desert island or lifesaving boat to pass by him and come to his rescue. Everything was a downward spiral, waiting for Jaemin to suffocate. 

And the anxiety— that was the worst. The uncertainty of what was to come. He could assume that his treatment would get worse with spending more time around his mother. Death, or at least absolute misery, seemed inevitable. 

"Jaemin? Are you even listening?" Donghyuck asks, snapping his fingers in front of Jaemin's face with an annoyed expression. Jaemin blinks, focusing his vision on the two shirts being held up by the older. "Do I go with the red or the black?" He continues, displaying his two options proudly.

"Go with the red!" Chenle suggests. 

"Um." Jaemin speaks, slightly taken aback at his deep introspection throughout the gathering with his friends. "Yeah Chenle's right, red." He replies, leaning back on his arms and digging his elbows into the comforter under his frame. Renjun was seated beside him, wiping down his glasses.

"I can't believe you dragged me along for this." The black-haired boy grumbles. "You know I hate these athletes with everything I have." He says, squinting as he looks at the specs and then slides the frames over his ears, letting them sit naturally. 

Jaemin rolls his eyes with a teasing sigh. If he recalled correctly— which he always did— he didn't force Renjun to do anything. He only mentioned the party once to the boy and Renjun was all over it, offering to go with him. If anything, Renjun was the one being persistent about the idea.

"You're wearing your glasses?" Donghyuck curls his upper lip, running his fingers through his hair in the mirror in an attempt to make it a little messy. "Didn't you bring contacts?" 

Renjun bites his lip with a shrug. "I did, but I decided to go with the glasses instead. I bet that if I went without them, I'd end up attracting too much attention, and we don't want that now do we?" He chuckles, only to receive a playful slap on the shoulder from Chenle. 

"Okay sure, we'll go with that." Jaemin smirks. He proceeds to pull his phone out of his pocket and stare at the untouched message from Jeno in the notification bar. He had been somewhat avoiding Jeno lately, and part of him felt guilty about it even though it was in the other's best interest. He thought it'd be better to cut things off gradually rather than all at once. 

Obviously he couldn't last forever, though. That was the main reason he was going to the party tonight. Jaemin was going to talk to Jeno there, but he would make sure to steer the conversation away from anything romantic if it came to that. It was strange, almost like he wanted to be by Jeno, but also as far away from him as possible at the same time. 

"And Jaemin," Donghyuck turns to the younger with a disappointed grimace, "I get that it's kind of your entire brand and whatnot... but are you really going to wear your stickers to this party? They don't really— fit the scene." He says, clearly trying his best to not sound insensitive. Jaemin nods in understanding.

The latter hadn't even thought of that to be honest. Wearing stickers was kind of just a given for him. He didn't pay much mind to it, but what Donghyuck said made sense to him. They were going to be attending a high school party hosted by seniors, some childish stickers would surely make him stand out— and not in the good way that Renjun or Donghyuck were aiming for. 

"True." He purses his lips, trying to think of how he could avoid anyone seeing his burns. That's when his gaze lands on the foundation bottle on Donghyuck's desk, and an idea comes to him. "Hey... I'm going to go change, can I borrow some of your makeup?"

"Sure." Donghyuck smiles, handing over the bag of cosmetics. "I don't have your shade of foundation, but my mom looks about your tone, and her's should be in the bathroom. You can use it, I'll just blame it on myself if she asks." He explains. "By the way, you know how to do makeup, right?"

Jaemin doesn't have a clue.

"Duh, of course I do." He scoffs, holding up some contouring powder and grinning confidently. "Can't wait to use this— bad boy— all over my eyes." He muses as the rest of the boys gawk at him, looking unimpressed with his knowledge on makeup— or lack thereof.

"You know what?" Donghyuck says and throws his hands up in the air. "You sound helpless, but I'll let you try it on your own at first. Then you can come to me if you need help after that, okay?" 

Jaemin agrees, grabbing his outfit— courtesy of Chenle—and makes a straight shot to the bathroom in the middle of the dim hallway. When he locks the door behind him, Jaemin doesn't hesitate before peeling away the stickers on his neck and arms. He then changes, slipping the black shirt over his head and adjusting it on his torso. 

When his clothes are all on— paired with the excessive amount of accessories Chenle provided— he begins rummaging through the Lee's drawers, pulling out a light bottle of foundation when his eyes glaze over it.

"Bingo." He chimes victoriously.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happy hyuck day to our sunshine :)

The soft roaring of the engine in Renjun's car does little to no good at calming Jaemin on the trip to Daeshim's house. The bundle of nerves buried deep in his stomach begin to jolt around at the realization that they were getting closer with each passing second. All of a sudden, he has the urge to go home. He didn't care that he'd be returning to his mom and Eunseok, but it'd stop him from wanting to vomit all over the back of Renjun's backseat.

"Why does Jaemin look like he's about to shit himself?" Donghyuck speaks up, gaping at the boy in the back with the help of the mirror in front of him. He was initially using it to check his eyeshadow, but then caught a glance of Jaemin's troubled expression behind him. "Calm down, you look hot. It's not as bad as it seems, I promise." He adds. 

"Stop acting as if you go to parties often." Renjun stifles a laugh with one hand on the steering wheel, his eyes glued to the road. "You were only invited to this one because of your boyfriend." He reminds, making sure the younger doesn't get too in over his head before they even arrive. 

"At least I have a boyfriend." Donghyuck snaps back, a bit too aggressive for Renjun's liking. It left a salty taste in his mouth. "Can't say the same for you, Renjun."

Renjun's lips drop into a circular shape at the attack. "For your information, I could get a guy if I wanted." He says in a matter-of-fact tone. "I just don't like relying on other people for my own happiness, especially in terms of romance. Just because I choose not to date doesn't mean I'm not capable."

"Prove it." Chenle joins in from the seat next Jaemin, finding the conversation quite interesting.

"What?"

"That's right." Donghyuck nods, closing the mirror and turning his head to look at the driver. "Prove to us that you can find guys. I dare you to flirt with someone at the party tonight." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively, noting to give Chenle a big high-five later for his idea.

Renjun rolls his eyes at his words as he restricts a vile scoff. "I literally hate everyone that's going to be there. I would never go for—"

Donghyuck extends an index finger. "But you did—"

"Shut up." Renjun chills his voice and tightens his grip on the steering wheel. He was angry with their stupid games. "Fine, I'll flirt with someone just to make you happy, but then you owe me a favor. I don't know what it'll be yet, but you will." He threatens, but Hyuck doesn't care, he's already looking away and gushing at the thought of Renjun potentially hooking up with someone tonight. 

Jaemin chuckles lightly at their little argument, though he still feels as wound up as a clock. He didn't have a good feeling about this— at all. Not to mention there was going to be underage drinking and probably a plethora of other illegal activities. It didn't take a rocket scientist to decode that Jaemin despised the smell and taste of alcohol for personal reasons. He just hoped Jeno wouldn't disappoint him and end up completely wasted like he was sure other students would. 

Renjun parks on the street around the same time the street lights turn on over the array of cars around them. Jaemin feels his soul drop to his gut when a small gathering of girls passes through Renjun's headlights in route to the front door. All of them were wearing nice clothes, and Jaemin wonders if he looks good enough to be in the same house as these people.

When Jaemin opens the door to get out, it became clear to him just how loud the music inside really was. He could feel the bass of some electronic song pressing against the soles of his feet as they get closer to the entrance, walking lightly over the damp grass— which appeared bright green even in the dark. As for the population, it was rather large. Everywhere you look, a new face pops up that had been unnoticed before. 

Chenle grabs on to Jaemin's arm, noticing how the older seemed to be on edge. He does his best to hold on tightly and reassure Jaemin that he was making a big deal out of nothing, but the blonde was determined to keep freaking himself out. 

Once inside, Jaemin scans over the light smoke clouds and the pungent smell of alcohol mixed with sweaty bodies in disgust. Being one to merge with social situations such as these was definitely not his forte, so this was quite the sight for him. 

Jaemin turns to the boy wrapped around his arm and leans in to shout in his ear, certain that Chenle wouldn't be able to make out what he was saying if he did anything less. "Can I just stick with you for a while?" He asks, afraid of being abandoned by his other friends. Renjun had already dashed into the kitchen, and lord knows where— or who— Donghyuck scurried off to.

Chenle nods and continues to filter through the crowd with Jaemin clung to his side. Yes, he was younger than the junior, but he wasn't as uncomfortable by any means. He had attended a couple parties up until this point, so the situation wasn't entirely foreign to him. Chenle was thankful for that. 

The ambient lighting made people somewhat difficult to distinguish, but Jaemin recognized a few familiar faces as he passed them. Yunho, Jungeun, Hwiyoung— they were all individuals he would be too scared to talk to around school. A majority of the people there were seniors, but a few students from every other grade could also be spotted if you looked hard enough. The smallest number of the equation was the freshman, and for a moment, Jaemin feels as if Jisung will be the only one there of his age.

The orange-haired boy pulls out his phone to look at a text from his boyfriend and then starts pulling Jaemin in the opposite direction, trying his hardest to navigate over the piles of people lounging on the first level of the floor. Jaemin becomes the recipient of a few stares along their journey, often accompanied by widened eyes and pointed fingers. Jaemin figured they weren't giving him compliments, but he dismissed it for the time being. 

Chenle and Jaemin shove themselves into a vacant room at the end of the hallway, and Jisung is soon to make himself present as well. Out of everyone Jaemin had seen that evening in such a short amount of time, Jisung seemed to look the most like himself. His faded purple hair had been swept back to reveal more of his forehead than usual, but his attire was still something not too far from what he usually wore. 

Jaemin watches as Chenle walks over and pecks the youngest on the lips before leading him back to the spot on the floor where he and Jaemin had been seated previously. Jisung didn't smell like alcohol, instead he radiated the fresh scent of laundry detergent and a cheap cologne. It was nice to be around in an environment like this. 

"What did you do to him?" Jisung is the first to speak as he gawks at Chenle, gesturing towards the oldest in the room. "Also, Jeno told me Jaemin wasn't going to be able to make it." 

"What do you mean, 'what did I do to him?'" Chenle, taken aback and somewhat offended. "He looks amazing. And about the second thing, he decided to come last minute, so we brought him with us." He shrugs.

"I know he looks amazing." Jisung comments, putting emphasis on the 'know.' "That's exactly the problem. You're going to have to put him on some kind of leash or something with him out here looking like that." The boy jokes, though part of him was definitely not joking.

Jaemin wasn't entirely sure what Jisung was implying, but he grows bashful and looks at the ground with a subtle smile. Did he really look that good? He hoped that everyone else thought the same as the freshman. 

The boys continue to talk amongst themselves, loving that they were separate from everyone else dancing and drinking the night away under the kaleidoscope of stars hanging in the sky. Before they know it, the trio is discussing normal topics, like how their days were, etc... it was refreshing.

Throughout the lighthearted banter, Jaemin finds himself growing less anxious. Something about the nature of being beside the two younger boys seemed to calm him and make him forget about everything he was dwelling on just a couple hours earlier. Laughing and joining in on whatever Chenle and Jisung were talking about— it was therapeutic, even. 

Finally, Jaemin works up the courage to venture out on his own in order to quench his growing thirst. "Hey guys, I'm going to get myself something to drink." He says, to which the others nod in understanding and dismiss him at once. 

Jaemin steps into the dark hallway. He can barely see thanks to the overflow of students flooding every corner, but he doesn't let that stop him— and he keeps moving forward. He sends short smiles to those who turn and wave at him. 

He enters the kitchen, only to find a couple making out against one of the counters rather than an assortment of drinks. 

The air turns stiff and awkward, and Jaemin does his best to shift his gaze away from the horrid view of the sophomores sucking face. His eyes scan around the rest of the kitchen aimlessly until they land on what's happening just outside the back door, which seems to be a game of cup pong set up next to the pool. Not too far from that, Lucas is standing tall by himself and staring down into the water. 

After short contemplation, Jaemin walks outside. It's so much quieter. With the exception of a few loud-mouths, it was far more low-stress than the rest of the home. The slow, night breeze tousles Jaemin's hair, and the smell of the chlorine in the water proves itself to be oddly satisfying.

"Nana!" Lucas catches a glimpse of the boy and shouts with a wave, a plastic cup residing in his other hand. "Hey buddy!" He shouts embarrassingly loud. A couple people turn and shoot glares at the two, but Lucas pays no mind. 

With further inspection— which is only a few more steps towards him in actuality— Lucas reeked of beer. The stench of the beverage nearly made Jaemin gag, but he refrains. It would take a bit of willpower, but he'd forget about it for now. 

"Hey Lucas." Jaemin forces himself into a smile. "How are you?" He clenches his pearly whites against the temptation to get sick.

"I'm great!" Lucas cheers in response, stepping closer and throwing himself on Jaemin in a lazy half-hug type of position. "How are you though? You look stunning." He coos, very obviously eyeing Jaemin up and down a few times— not an ounce of shame detected.

"Thanks." Jaemin tightens the corners of his lips. Even when drunk, Lucas was still as much of a sweetheart as ever— not to mention, a natural flirt. "I'm fine, slowly warming up. I just didn't know where to find the drinks?"

"Oh right." A small chuckle leaves the senior, and he steps away, looking around as if searching for something. "Daeshim has soda and other stuff in the dining room. It should be on your left when you walk into the kitchen. I'd show you myself but Renjunnie should be back soon." Lucas uses his free hand to awkwardly rub at the back of his neck. "Stay safe!" He calls when Jaemin starts to depart. 

"Renjun—?" Jaemin hums to himself as he tilts his head. He mentally notes that down, reminding himself to ask Renjun about it sometime later. "Alright, see you later." 

Jaemin goes back inside and takes a left like Lucas had instructed. In the dining room, there were people gathered around with cups, mirroring the one Lucas had. Multiple bottles of soda were set up on the end of the table and Kunhang was sitting in a chair, handing out everyone's order with a kind, costumer-service-like smile. 

"What'll it be?" Kunhang asks once Jaemin gets close enough for his turn. Jaemin didn't talk to him often, but they had spoken a few times. Kunhan was one of those athletes who was surprisingly welcoming in comparison to a lot of his friends. 

"Um yeah, can I get—" He points to an orange bottle of generic soda. "That one?"

Kunhang flashes his bright teeth as he pours him a cup and hands it over. Jaemin thanks the boy and then continues to walk through the house carefully. It was difficult to avoid stepping on someone's feet, but Jaemin made sure to tread lightly just in case he did. 

Daeshim's house was beyond nice. In fact, it was probably one of the best homes in the neighborhood— which said a lot, considering he lived just outside a gated community. Jaemin could tell at first impression that the decorations laying here and there were far from cheap or shabby. He wanted to be in awe, but he always had a hunch that Daeshim's family was rich. 

Jaemin's thoughts come to an abrupt halt when he feels the weight of a sturdy arm snake around his waist protectively. In a single motion, he's pulled back and brought against the person's body in a way that felt both forceful and romantic at the same time— well, as romantic as the situation could be for two teenagers at a house party at least. 

With his heart pounding against his rib cage, Jaemin juts his chin over his shoulder to spot Jeno standing behind him with a dreamlike smile etched on his lips. The younger's cheeks immediately transform into little cherries sitting on his face, all bright and red. For an instant, he doesn't do anything but stare.

Jeno looked amazing. He always did— but tonight especially. Much like Jisung's, Jeno's hair was pulled back with what appeared to be hairspray and styling gel. His forehead was on full display, except for the few strands that hung loosely in his face, casting an ominous shadow over his sharp features. He was beautiful. 

Jaemin wanted to kiss him right there— and he would have, if it wasn't for the promise he made with himself. He would be stupid to say he shouldn't get attached, because he already was, but interacting with Jeno would only make things more painful come Friday. 

Alas, even though he was well aware of all this, Jaemin knew that he was oh-so weak at a distance as small as the one between them now. He had no control over his own body when his knees began to buckle as a direct result of Jeno's unexpected appearance. 

In a whirl, Jeno leans in and lets his breath fan over Jaemin's ear, their bodies held together by his strong grip. He was pinning Jaemin against him, and the friction of their hips being pressed together through their thin jeans made Jaemin want to wail. He hated how unfair it was.

But he loved it. He was head over heels. Whether Na Jaemin wanted to admit it or not, this boy had a major impact on him. To make matters worse, there was nothing he could do about it except stand in place and allow himself to be fully defenseless. He was conflicted.

"How come you went to see Yukhei before me?" Jeno lowers at Jaemin, leaning over Jaemin's frame to make sure the latter sees the disappointment in his eyes. Jaemin notices it in his peripheral vision, he just makes it a point to pretend he doesn't. "I thought you weren't coming."

His voice his fragile, almost like it would break if Jaemin made one wrong move. You would expect Jeno to be rude and insensitive based on who he was friends with, but truthfully, he was the exact opposite. Jeno was someone who was rather sensitive. Given, Jaemin had never seen the larger cry before, but you could tell that he had a tendency to take things a little personally.

"I wasn't going to, but I changed my mind." Jaemin says, trying to keep a neutral expression as he faces forward, knowing that he would break if he turned to fully look at Jeno.

"I'm glad." Jeno hums, pressing his head into the crook of the blonde's neck and embracing him. He swings his other arm around Jaemin's hips and holds him in place, closing his eyes comfortably. 

They sway gently in the middle of the room to the rhythm of the music. Jaemin looks up at the bleak ceiling above and blinks back a fury of tears.

Suddenly, he can't hold back anymore and he spins around on his heels against the force of Jeno's arms, coming face to face with the male and hugging him as tight as he can. Jeno gasps a little bit at first, but then he eases into it, clutching Jaemin with everything he has. 

"I've missed you." He mumbles, soft lips dancing on the skin of Jaemin's neck.

"You see me every day, Jen." Jaemin replies, still on the verge of a breakdown. This was going against everything he was aiming for that night— standing here under Jeno's spell, but he was helpless. Jeno made it impossible for him to walk away now.

The brunette offers him a weak half-smile from over his shoulder even though he can't see it. "It's been different lately. You didn't even answer my text earlier. I'm worried about you."

"You won't have to worry soon..." Jaemin mumbles under his breath, reaching up to rub the back of Jeno's head with his empty palm and caressing it as the pair leans from side to side. 

Jeno lifts himself up from his slouched posture and rips away from his mold against Jaemin's warm body, not quite catching on to what Jaemin had said. "What was that?" 

Jaemin gulps, losing himself in the dark shade of Jeno's eyes. 

"Do you want to go somewhere quiet to talk?" The smaller asks as lowly as he can.

Jeno nods, and he grabs Jaemin's wrist, pulling him up the stairs and down a short hallway into what appeared to be a guest bedroom. Lucky for Jeno, he knew Daeshim's house like the back of his hand after spending so much time here. Once the boys filter inside, Jeno locks the door behind them, not wanting to get interrupted if they talk about something serious— which is what things were looking up to be. 

The room was freshly decorated, looking like something you'd see out of a modern home magazine. Just like the rest of the property, the state made it evident just how wealthy Daeshim and his family were. Jaemin couldn't help but get jealous of their fortune, as it was the complete opposite of his own living condition. 

Jeno turns on a lamp on the nightstand and sits down on the white comforter of the bed, motioning for Jaemin to do the same. Seconds later, the mattress dips down next to Jeno and he shifts his body weight into Jaemin's side. He reaches down the younger's thigh and traces it momentarily before intertwining their fingers, latching on to them like a kid.

A slow hand buries itself into Jaemin's own and lifts it. "Tell me what's wrong, baby." Jeno speaks in between the small pecks he presses to the younger's knuckles, and the action is enough to make Jaemin melt into a puddle under his touch.

'Damn.'

He couldn't do this. There was no way Jaemin could be expected to sit here like he was and lie to Jeno with a straight face. It was time to rip off the bandage, even if it was going to sting. 

"I'm moving away, Jeno." Jaemin blurts. Refusing to look at Jeno's reaction, he redirects his attention to the window on the opposite side of the room and stares at the moon with hopeful eyes. "I'm moving far out of town with my mom and her boyfriend and I only have a week left before we go."

Any noise previously able to be heard before drops to a dead silence as Jeno slips Jaemin's fingers out of his own in shock.

"You're... moving?" Jeno speaks, his words cracking. They were jagged, cut carelessly by the knife-like strike of shock in his chest. 

They sit like that for some time. And after what feels like a few minutes of complete silence, Jeno looks up, and Jaemin can see the tears welling on the brim of his eyes. 

"I'm sorry..." Jaemin chokes.

Jeno takes a deep breath in a vain attempt to keep his composure. "It's not your fault, I just—" A single tear glistens in the moonlight as it rolls down Jeno's cheek, and that's when Jaemin realizes he had fucked up. 

He's left speechless. Jaemin reaches out and holds the older in his arms, much like the latter did for him on the day of their first kiss. He rocks them back and forth in a steady fashion, murmuring apologetic sweet nothings into his ear.

"No, no, no, no..." Jeno says over and over again, sobbing quietly into Jaemin's chest. He reaches up and grabs on to Jaemin's shirt weakly, digging his fists into the fabric like a pleading child— merely repeating the same phrases. "Don't go. Please stay here, Jaemin. Stay with me. Stay with all of us."

"I would if I could, Jeno." Jaemin bites his lip to keep it from quivering. This was his first time seeing Jeno cry like this, and to say it was taking a toll on him would be an understatement. He hated himself for knowing he caused this, but it couldn't be stopped. "Besides, are you sure things won't be better like this?" He inquires, only trying to make things better. 

The older stands up with wobbly knees and looks at Jaemin as if he'd gone insane, visible steaks of the salty liquid running down his skin at this point. "Better?! How the hell would this make anything better?!" He asks, slightly startling the younger. "Jaemin I—"

Jaemin stays quiet, not sure what he could do or say. What he wanted was to either sink into the bed in humiliation or turn back time to around ten minutes ago— but unfortunately, neither of those were possible. 

"I think I'm in love with you." Jeno admits with a low croak, devastation settling into his features. 

"I love you." Jeno says again— more insistent than before. He comes forward and wipes a hand through Jaemin's hair. The other boy starts to tear up as well, reaching his breaking point. "Jaemin, I love you!" Jeno raises the volume of his wavering voice, sounding hurt. By his tone independently, you would assume that the boy was in utter agony. Jeno didn't stop there either, he kept saying it like it was the only thing he knew how to say. With each 'I love you', he draws closer to Jaemin, crouching down in front of him and streaking that same hand down the side of his face. His eyes were sparkly and red— agitated by tears, and his lips were pulled into a crooked frown. 

Jaemin is frozen. Did Jeno know what he was doing to him? Dropping such a huge and heavy statement on him only a week until the day he leaves. Jaemin thought it was incredibly selfish, because what was he supposed to do? Things were hard for Jaemin too, but it was like Jeno thoughts his confession would suddenly make Jaemin stay, when the truth was he had no control over it.

But he still leans in, grabbing Jeno's hands to keep them still and floating his lips just in front of the latter's. Jaemin inhales sharply and breathes out an airy response in reply.

"I love you too."

Before Jaemin has the time to process another thought, Jeno comes forward as softly as possible and presses their lips together. His kiss seemed desperate almost. Jeno was hoping for something— anything— that showed Jaemin was telling the truth. Any sign at all that the younger really loved him was enough to make him content for now. The rest could be discussed later.

Jeno receives that signal when Jaemin begins moving his mouth in sync with his own, putting just as much— if not more— power behind his movements. He was yearning too, Jeno could feel it. Jaemin didn't really want to leave. He wanted to stay here. He needed to stay here. 

Jaemin feels the room spin around his head with excitement. Everything starts happening so fast. The kiss they share morphs from something sweet into a state of pure desperation. Fingers start roaming and tongues begin poking out, it was their most heated kiss to date— rougher than the one at Jeno's house, and far more lengthy than the small pecks occasionally shared at school.

Truth is, more than Jaemin needed anything else in this world, he needed Jeno. 

Jeno shivers a bit when Jaemin's cold hands find their way up the back of his shirt and start kneading gently at his skin. The older of the two is on absolute fire, lit up by the overwhelming emotions squirming between their thin, hormone-driven bodies.

Jaemin keeps leaning in to deepen the kiss until there's a light tug on his hair. Instantly, he remembers that Jeno had his fingers wrapped around his locks up there. Out of natural instinct, a lewd noise leaves the boy's lips and fills the heated hole of Jeno's mouth. Jeno grows shy at the sudden moan and backs away a bit, playing it off as a means to catch his breath.

"It's okay Jeno." Jaemin pants lightly, wiping his thumb over the tears hanging from Jeno's jaw. He then brings his head in, tracing his lips over the wet spots on the lower half of his face and leaving reassuring kisses on them. "I'm here right now. You and I are here together— right now. That's all that's important in this moment." He whispers in between each reposition of his mouth, feeling terrible for making Jeno upset. 

Accompanied by a sniffle, Jeno nods and then proceeds to catch Jaemin's lips once again. It lasts longer this time, and with a few shuffles, Jaemin kicks off his shoes. He lays down on one of the guest pillows and props himself up on his back while Jeno's frame hovers over him, one knee on each side of his hips as he stretches out his torso to prevent either of them from having to break away unless it was for oxygen.

Jaemin was right, that moment was the only thing that mattered.

And in that moment, Jeno was glad he happened to lock the bedroom door.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> noren do b throwing hands doe

Jaemin's eyes flutter open, being swarmed by the entrance of light from the window next to the large bed. Without even moving, he can tell that his body is in a state of remorse. The boy goes to shift his legs around in the abundance of blankets cloaking him, but is left with nothing except for a small groan as his muscles ache against his force. 

He glances over to see Jeno's naked form laying beside him, hugging one of the many pillows resting under their tired heads. He was cuddled into the sheets, a series of cute little snores leaving his body with every exhale. Jaemin found it kind of funny— how his face contradicted the muscular frame the athlete possessed. It was hard to not stare.

Thoughts of last night rush back to him. The excitement, the heavy breaths, the desperate whispers in between grunts— all of it felt too distant to be real now that the sun was up. However, Jaemin was certain he wasn't imagining it all, as he was also completely bare. His clothes were sprawled out at the end of the bed, making a mess on the floor. 

A pained whine leaves Jaemin's lips as he turns on to his side to face the nightstand next to him with droopy eyes. One thing was for sure, the walk home would be far from an easy one with how sore he was. 

He reaches for his phone and unlocks it to find several missed calls stacked on top of each other in his notification bar. Dozens of messages from Donghyuck, Renjun, Chenle, and even Mark— who supposedly asked Donghyuck for Jaemin's number last night— were all sitting untouched and waiting to be answered. 

However, none of them were from his mom. Not a single one. It was to be expected, but something about it still made Jaemin frown. 

Reality begins to set in as Jaemin realizes what this situation ensued. He was still moving away in a week's time, but he had mindlessly disregarded all of that for a libido-filled rendezvous with the boy he should have been trying his hardest to avoid. All of his mental preparation crumbled down around him as soon as he laid eyes on Jeno in the living room. And because of it, his virginity had slipped away.

Jaemin sits with his legs dangling over the edge of the mattress, head in his hands out of aggravation. He didn't know why he kept making stupid decisions even though he knew better. He wanted to erase what had happened— if he didn't, it felt like he was going to lose his mind too. 

Lee Jeno was his first serious crush.

Butterflies swarming in his stomach, shy greetings, small blushes with each and every encounter. Jaemin recalled how it felt only a couple months ago when he caught himself catching feelings for the brunette. How could be be the one to blame? Jeno was so sweet and kind— it made his heart tremble. 

Lee Jeno was first kiss.

Quiet confessions, peppered smooches, oversized clothes that made Jaemin feel so incredibly warm. Their first kiss was something Jaemin felt like he would remember for a long time. It was the first time someone had treated him like someone of such importance. The older was so careful, making it seem like Jaemin was a fragile piece of art to be handled with care. 

And now, Lee Jeno was the first person he slept with. 

Tangled limbs, dried tears through sloppy kisses, premature goodbyes that made Jaemin have the urge to cry rather than enjoy the moment like he should have been able to do so freely. Of course, he relished the situation as much as he could, but something about it all made his heart heavy. What would have meant so little to other kids his age— felt like the entire world to him. 

All in all, Lee Jeno was his first love.

A golden heart, bright smiles that displayed pearly whites, and a blooming, lush garden of feelings that Jaemin only ever believed to exist in movies. He had seen those teenage films where one of the main characters would be completely head over heels, and he always found it to be cheesy. That is, until he was the same as them. 

He wished there was a way for him to stay. Any way for things to work out in the way that both of them longed for. Even more than he wanted to remain here for his own benefit, he knew Jeno deserved it. Jaemin probably wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he turned his back on the older whether he had technical control over it or not.

Almost anything sounded like a good option at this point. It wasn't too late, he just needed to work up some kind of blueprinted plan. 

That's when a light bulb flashes over Jaemin's head. Maybe he wasn't as powerless as he initially thought. There was something he could do to change their fate, and he couldn't believe he didn't come across the idea before. 

Jaemin leans over the bed again and strokes a gentle hand through Jeno's hair, which was draped over his forehead in an adorably messy state. His fingers twirl around in the short locks a few times, engulfed by the silken mass as the motion hypnotizes him. 

Jeno looked so peaceful, like he was truly at ease. His rosebud lips were compressed into a pout, which Jaemin giggled quietly at. There were faint splotches of purple coating the larger's throat as Jaemin had tried extra hard to not leave any noticeable marks. It was a somewhat failed attempt to spare Jeno the embarrassment that would follow if anyone saw them. 

Jaemin reaches down and presses a soft kiss to the warm skin between Jeno's eyebrows in an affectionate manner. His lips only brush the area before he pulls back and trails a hand down to the bigger one near Jaemin's own leg. He strokes Jeno's hand slowly, tracing tiny shapes into the back of his palm with a simper. He starts speaking in a hushed tone, not wanting to wake the sleeping boy.

"Soon, baby." Jaemin promises. "We're going to make this work."

Getting up and retrieving his wrinkled clothes, Jaemin's head and heart both begin to race at the thought of what he came up with. He gets dressed as quickly and as silently as possible, being unable to stay until Jeno woke up. He wasn't going to let anyone talk him out of this— and he knew that if Jeno caught wind of his scheme, the older would discourage him and call it hazardous. 

Jaemin wasn't one to take large risks like this, but they say that love makes people do crazy things. His decision was also rather rash and spontaneous, which was not something Jaemin himself was used to. He hated unpredictability, but some things had to be sacrificed when it came to matters so huge. 

Something about Jeno motivated him to take the reins of his life in his own hands, but it wasn't just in a romantic sense. Jaemin had the desire to see the beauty in the world that the peculiar boy spoke so wonderfully about. Jeno always brought up that there were many things to be happy about in the world they lived upon, and Jaemin wanted to be able to prove it with his own two eyes. 

He couldn't do that from miles and miles away when Jeno acted as his glasses, something that allowed him to look through the blurs and provide clarity. 

That being said, Jaemin had to change things. His destiny would be entirely up to him. Besides, it was required that he stops being such a pushover sooner or later— even (especially) for his mother.

Jaemin walks over to the bedroom door, opening it quietly and peering into the hallway before turning back to look at the bed behind him. Jeno still appeared to be in a state of comatose as his limp body laid still.

"Soon." Jaemin whispers in repetition, a minuscule smile resting on his face.

—

Feet pounding against the pavement.

Huang Renjun felt like he was going to die.

Each and every step brought him closer to collapse, but Renjun had to keep running. He didn't have any time to spare as he dashed down the street to Jaemin's house. His heart was pounding against his eardrums, but he had to push through it— for Jaemin. 

Hell, there wasn't even a second to cry.

"Jeno!" Renjun pants as he slides into the gas station and makes eye contact with the brown-haired cashier, who stares back at him with a nonplus expression. In that moment, Renjun wanted to laugh with relief at the fact that Jeno was working today. He doesn't know what he would have done if he showed up to someone else behind the register. 

"What?" Jeno asks in between questionable looks, perplexed at the older's exhausted posture. Had he been sprinting in the neighborhood or something?

"I need— I need your help." Renjun breathes out weakly, torso folded over his form with his hands pressed into his knees. Jeno is about to ask what Renjun was talking about when he finally notices the streams of tears running down the latter's face. He feels his heart sink into his gut. Something was seriously wrong. 

Renjun stands up and approaches Jeno, clasping a shaky hand around his wrist as minute, unstable breaths are choked out of him by an unbearable amount of fear. 

"It's Jaemin." He says.

And that's when the record playing in Jeno's head comes to a screeching halt. 

Panic mode is activated while Jeno trails behind Renjun, charging in the direction of the lonely apartment. The only thing traveling faster than Jeno's legs are the questions running through his conscious— wondering what in the hell the shorter boy had seen to put him in such distress. Surely if something was life-threatening, Renjun would have called an ambulance before coming to get Jeno, right? Jaemin was fine, right? This was probably some sick joke they were pulling on him, right?

Wrong, to all of those, actually. 

They arrive at the home and stand in front of the entrance. Despite the door being unlocked, Renjun fumbles with the doorknob for a surprisingly long amount of time. He couldn't think straight, and it was going to end up costing them a valuable few seconds. 

"Renjun what the fuck is going on?" Jeno finally asks, but he receives no reply. 

Instead, Renjun bolts into the door and stumbles down the dark hallway, his legs finally giving out after what was only about a solid fifteen minutes of running in total. Without thinking, Jeno follows closely behind up until Renjun takes a sharp turn at the end of the hallway, entering what appeared to be a bedroom. 

Jeno pieces together what he's seeing, and the world stops turning on its axis. 

Jaemin was laying on the ground, slumped over and seemingly unconscious.

Renjun snaps his head to Jeno, and the latter reads the absolute terror in his face— his own was beginning to mirror it. He had never been so scared this quickly. 

"I came to see him because I haven't heard from him since last night." Renjun manages to crack through an explanation, a hearty sob glazing over his tongue at last. "I didn't know what to do— Jeno, my first thought was to come find you." He admits, his breath quickening into what sounded like borderline hyperventilation. 

Jeno's brain starts to function properly as he gets down on his knees and checks for a pulse on Jaemin's carotid artery. Under normal circumstances, he would feel like his fingers were being pressed down a little too hard, but he couldn't care less at the moment. 

He freaks out, not feeling anything.

Jeno repositions his hand probably a million times until he feels the faint pressure beating against his fingertips. He breathes out loudly in solace. Jaemin was still in there— for now. Though, that could quickly change if they didn't get him to see a medical professional this instant. Part of him was thankful he knew what was going on, he still felt like Renjun should have contacted the hospital first. 

"He's alive?" Renjun asks, his voice filled with hope. He was still standing by the door, looking like he was on the edge of a complete shutdown. 

"Renjun. Call an ambulance. Right. Now." Jeno commands stiffly, glaring at the bottles of vodka and cough medicine sitting adjacent to Jaemin's desk. 

The older fishes his phone out of his pocket and dials the emergency number, the other line picks up immediately and Renjun starts spilling out information the best he could through his tears. He has to repeat himself multiple times, as his sentences were structured like gibberish by now. 

Jeno can't even hear Renjun speaking, as he's too lost in his own universe. His heart was breaking to see Jaemin here like this, looking so pale and lifeless. Jeno still had no idea as to what had happened, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure that it wasn't good. 

"Jaemin." He whimpers through pressed lips. "Nana, please— please hold on a bit longer." A tear rolls down his cheek. "We'll save you, just wait, they'll be here."

"Soon." He adds. 

Jeno can't stop thinking. It looked as if whatever went on was intentional, and something about that didn't sit well with him. He couldn't assume, but it seemed like Jaemin had done this on purpose. Maybe there was something Jeno didn't know about the younger after all. 

He's not allowed to ponder on it too long before Renjun's words rip through the quiet room. "I'll ride with him in the back of the ambulance." He says. "You should go back to the gas station once they get here, okay?"

"What?!" Jeno looks up from his place on the ground and raises an eyebrow, growing angry with the fact that Renjun was telling him what to do. He didn't see why Renjun should automatically get the privilege of going to the hospital with Jaemin over him. "No. Why can't I go?!" He questions.

"You have to work." Renjun shrugs just shoulders. His reasoning was a little flawed however, as work was probably the last thing on Jeno's mind now. "Besides, I'll be able to tell them things that you can't if they ask for certain pieces of information." The black-haired boy chews on his bottom lip, fully knowing that he was treading on dangerous territory. 

That's where Jeno draws the line. He didn't like people comparing his own personal relations to someone with their own, it made him feel less than. He knew a lot about Jaemin, or at least that's what he thought. "I— what do you mean?! I know him better than you!"

"Oh yeah?!" Renjun suddenly shouts, seeing red flash through him. 

"Yeah!"

"Then did you know he's done shit like this before?!" Renjun continues to yell, scaring Jeno a little bit— who sits with a blank expression. "He tried to jump off a fucking bridge, Jeno. He wants to die, but I bet he didn't tell about you that, did he?" Renjun shoots back in agitation, his venomous tone making the words sound like mockery rather than a point. Jeno is taken aback.

"He— he what?"

Renjun stands his ground, fists curled up against his side. "I'm going to the hospital with him." He says, leaving no room for argumentation. 

Jeno doesn't speak. He didn't know if Renjun was telling the truth, but he didn't want to fight back just in case he was. The older was right, the doctors needed to know about past experiences and attempts at foolish acts in order for them to treat him efficiently. He had no choice but to step back and let them have their space. It would be the best for Jaemin.

"Please make sure they help him..." Jeno bites his tongue quietly, to which Renjun answers with a curt nod. 

In a blur, the paramedics arrive and scurry to get Jaemin out of the apartment and in the back of the large vehicle. Renjun has no time to wave Jeno goodbye before he's swept up into the ambulance as well, so they can get to the emergency room. Everything started happening so quickly, and Jeno was having problems filtering what was real and what wasn't. 

Nonetheless, the situation leaves him standing alone in the center of the dull home. He stares off into space, attempting with all of his might to draw himself back to his job down the street. But he just couldn't. How was he supposed to focus now that Jaemin's condition was unknown? It was all too much.

He wanted to press pause on life as it was and take a few minutes to sink in his own head. However, he doesn't get the chance before he's on his way out the front door, only to see a car with a strangely familiar-looking woman inside pulling up to the parking lot. He didn't have any recollection of who she was, but her face resembled someone he knew.

Jeno widens his eyes in realization, and he stops walking. 

—

Renjun sits in the waiting room. 

He flips through the magazine in his lap, scanning over the pages without actually absorbing any of the text. He hadn't heard much from the doctors since they arrived a while ago, and it was starting to eat at him. It was quiet. Too quiet. At this point, Renjun was trying to convince himself that the doctors simply forgot about his presence, and that's why they didn't update him. 

Donghyuck sits on his left, eyes boring into the ground. Renjun called the younger the second he entered the chilled building, and Donghyuck got there as quick as possible, rushing through the evening traffic at great speed. 

"I can't believe he would do this." Donghyuck frowns. He felt quite down about the whole thing, and it was rare to see him so sensitive. Renjun wonders how many people have seen this side of Donghyuck. "I should have known— we could have stopped this—" He starts, only to be cut off by the shorter with a raised finger. 

Renjun moves his hand forward and rests it on Hyuck's shoulder. It wasn't right for him to feel sorry about it— he had done nothing wrong. "Don't blame yourself. It's hard to tell how people are really feeling. There was nothing you or I could have done." He reassures Donghyuck with a small smile, and the latter only looks away. 

They sit in a comfortable silence, just like they had been doing for a while now. That's when Renjun remembers that Jeno got off work about an hour ago, and he still wasn't there. Renjun tried to call him a couple times to see when he'd be arriving, but he got no reply.

"He's not answering his phone." Renjun rolls his eyes, leaning back in the uncomfortable chair. Suddenly, he's able to pinpoint exactly why he was never too fond of athletes. They were all so self-absorbed. It was kind of funny, he took his ex boyfriend to be different, but they were all the same. "I swear to god when I see that bastard I'll—"

The door to the waiting room swings open lightly to reveal a dissociative Jeno in the doorway. In his arms was a stuffed teddy bear with a ribbon around its neck and what seemed to be a bag weighed down with about ten iced coffees. His eyes looked wet, and his usual smile was replaced by a sullen line. He was now changed out of his work clothes, and the hoodie hugging his frame fell off of him loosely— as if also in a depressive state.

"Hey." Jeno says quietly, feeling bad about getting worked up with Renjun earlier. "Any news?" He asks, coming closer and putting his gifts on a small table up against one of the cream-colored walls. 

"None." Renjun deadpans.

Jeno sighs, wiping in between his eyes with the backside base of his thumb. "This is all my fault." He tightens the corners of his lips. 

"No it's not."

"He probably hates me."

With that, Renjun walks over and slaps Jeno across the face. This shocks Donghyuck, who sits with his mouth agape at the scene. He hadn't expected Renjun to get that aggressive— nonetheless, to Jeno. When Renjun's hand is gone, the red mark on Jeno's jaw serves as evidence that they ever made contact in the first place. 

Jeno reaches for his face. "Ouch—"

"Jaemin doesn't hate you." Renjun says, almost spitting on the taller. "And even if he did, that's not what's important right now. What's important is the fact that he's hanging on for his life, Jeno. Who cares if he hates you if he's barely here?!" 

"You're right..." Renjun always seemed to be right. He had a mature mindset that Jeno himself wished he could obtain. "Do you think he'll be okay?" He tilts his head, only to get jabbed at once again. 

"Do I look like a doctor to you?" Renjun scowls. 

"All we can do is hope." Donghyuck jumps in, deciding to get involved before the two started fighting. That would be what they needed least right now— built up tension finally spewing over when their friend was in the hospital. They reminded Hyuck of children. Well, they are children, but they acted like young children if anything. 

Jeno nods.

"Now come sit with us." He says, gesturing to the chairs next to him, making sure that he'd be the one sitting in between the pair. "Getting mad at each other won't do anything to help. Jaemin wouldn't want that."

It was going to be a long night.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaemin big small brain

eno couldn't sleep.

It was almost midnight when a doctor finally came back to the waiting room to tell the boys that Jaemin was stabilized and ready for visitors. The only catch was that Jaemin was still sleeping, but none of them cared about that— they just wanted to see him. Proof that he was okay. 

When they entered, the youngest in the room was laying motionless on the bed, but his chest was visibly rising and falling with every breath. Jeno was relieved at the sight of Jaemin sleeping soundly, his skin looked bright and flourished once again. It was a much softer picture than the one he saw at the apartment. This was his Jaemin, not that soulless corpse from earlier. 

The trio move out into the hallway for a few minutes and discuss among themselves over who should be the one to stay overnight. After only a few sentences from each of them, they all decided that Jeno would be the best candidate for sticking by the bedside. The other two went home not too long after that, telling Jeno that they'd be back in the morning.

So Jeno was left alone with Jaemin in the cold of the night. A nurse would stop by every once in a while to check up on the patient— but other than that, it was complete solitude. Jeno would glance out the large window on the farthest wall here and there and observe the cars on the road below. He found it funny how the world outside continued to live so hurriedly when everything else seemed to slow down. 

Mrs.Lee stops by momentarily to check up on her son and bring him a late dinner. Jeno, not wanting to potentially disrupt Jaemin, steps out into the hall to go greet her, where she then attempts to drag him away. Well, not physically, but still. She wanted him to come with her and Jeno was not having it. 

"Jeno... you should come home and get in bed." His mom suggests, her eyebrows pressed down as she frowns. "Your father and I are worried."

"I'm worried too, Mom." Jeno replies, keeping a straight face while he turns his head to peer into the glass panel between them and the patient room. 

Jeno's mother looks inside at the blonde boy laying weakly on the hospital bed. Despite being unconscious, he looked angelic— like he wouldn't hurt a fly. She hadn't personally had the chance to talk to Jaemin yet, but ever since her husband confronted her about the fact that he caught their son making out with some boy in his room, she wanted to meet said boy. Any good mother would have.

She releases a heavy sigh. Jeno really liked this boy, and it was the weekend, so there was no way she'd ever get him to leave— at least not without Jaemin waking up first. "Fine. Text me as often as you can though, and let me know when he comes to." She commands, needing at least the bare minimum before she'll allow herself walk away and leave him there. 

Jeno smiles and nods, happy that his mom was able to recognize how much this meant to him. He was truly lucky to have such supportive parents, because he knew for a fact that there were many kids who would do anything to receive the same treatment he did. 

"I love you." She pulls him into a final hug for the night. It was getting awfully late, and she herself wanted to go home and get some sleep as well. "Make sure to try and rest a little bit, okay? The chairs in there are the worst, but you still need to stay refreshed." She comments. "You're grouchy when you haven't slept, and I know you want to be happy when Jaemin wakes up."

"I will. I love you too." Jeno rests his head on his mom's shoulder and closes his eyes with a small hum. He was content. Not a lot of kids Jeno's age would hug their parents like this anymore, but Jeno did regularly. It was comforting to him, especially in times like this. A love-filled hug would always take him back to when he was a tiny baby. It made him feel youthful again.

His eyes linger on her figure disappearing as she turns and leaves, walking down the hallway with a tired posture. Part of him felt bad for making his parents so distressed in the middle of the night, but the other part remembered that he needed to be there. 

When Jeno goes back inside Jaemin's room, he pulls up a chair next to the side of the bed and tries to doze off. His head was still full after what had been hours already, so it was going to be relatively impossible to calm down to a tranquil state. Jeno was exhausted, but at the same time, he had never been so awake.

Rather than drifting away into a land of dreams, Jeno starts recalling his encounter with Jaemin's mom earlier that day as he was leaving their apartment. It was— awkward, but he couldn't help and wonder what she did afterwards. 

The suspicious woman in the car gets out and starts walking up the stairs in Jeno's direction, still not acknowledging the boy standing by her front door. She was dressed in all dark colors, and her frame was rather thin— her face sunk in as if someone had pressed down on it for too long. However, her eyes were wide and unmistakable to the panicking brunette.

Those were Jaemin's eyes if he'd ever seen them. Jeno gulps down the lump rising in his throat and feels himself start to sweat. So this was the woman who had been neglecting Jaemin? If she weren't a woman, Jeno would have probably felt the temptation to hit her already. 

"Who the hell are you?" She suddenly freezes, blocking Jeno's path down the stairs with her own body standing in the way. She was holding a grocery bag in one of her hands, and Jeno knew it would be swung at him if he chose the wrong words in this situation.

"Um—" Jeno tries to choke up a reply, only to find himself struggling under pressure. "My name- I'm Jeno. Lee Jeno, ma'am." He says with a small, polite nod and an extended hand. 

She ignores his efforts to be gentlemanly and scowls at his hand. The only thing she wanted was an explanation. She didn't have any desire to be being formally introduced at the moment. "What the fuck are you doing here?" For all she cares, he could take that handshake and shove it right up his—

"Uh." He stammers again, letting out some incomprehensible noise soon after which is really just a combination of every word he meant to say. 'Real smooth, Jeno, real smooth'. "I came to see your son— Na Jaemin, right?" He cocks an eyebrow, hoping to fill in his innocent act. 

Jaemin's mother sighs and pushes past the boy at the top of the stairs, now staring down at Jeno in annoyance. "Yes, that's him. What do you need?" She still sounded somewhat aggravated, but at least she wasn't catching on to Jeno— or, so he foolishly thought. 

"I just wanted to see how my classmate is doing. Concerned, you know?" He stifles a chuckle, fumbling to stuff his hands in his uniform pockets messily. That's when he remembers that Jaemin's phone is in his right hand, as he had wanted to bring it to the younger in the hospital for when he was functioning again. His grip around the device tightens.

Shit. Jeno wasn't necessarily religious, but he felt the overwhelming urge to start uttering hymns at that point in time. 

"Why?"

"Excuse me?" Jeno inquires, bullets of sweat hurdling down his skin, but not because it was hot outside— even though it was. 

"Jaemin is fine." She snarks, sounding more than a little forceful. "But I wouldn't get too close to him if I were you, he's an odd one. He's probably uncomfortable with people like you meddling with his life." She continues to criticize Jeno while growing louder with each syllable, pressing herself closer and closer to her own tolerance limit. 'Not really a kid person, huh?'

"...I see..." Jeno remains calm throughout his internal screaming. "Anyways, he wasn't home, so I'll just see him Monday I guess. I'll be going—" He spins on his heels in a whirl and takes one step down before he's stopped in his tracks by her piercing words ringing out to him.

"Hold on."

Slowly but surely, Jeno does a u-turn on the stairs and winces. The motion was much like that of a child who got caught doing something wrong. Jeno braces himself as he hums in response, prompting her to go on.

"He's not home?"

"No ma—"

"Where is he then?"

Jeno lets out a dry cough paired with one of those nervous neck-rubs. He was about to burst at the seams with guilt, but he wouldn't give in. He was determined. Who knows what would happen to Jaemin if he revealed his true location? "I'm not sure." He shrugs. "Now if you'll excuse me I've really gotta—"

"Why is my front door unlocked?" Ms.Na questions, and for a moment, Jeno could swear he saw his life flash before his eyes. All of a sudden, he really regretted all that time he spent studying for his gifted program, because now he was going to die young and there was nothing advanced physics could do about it. 

The atmosphere grows quiet. Jeno doesn't know how to respond, but he sure as hell knew that he wouldn't be going down without a fight. Secretly wishing he had paid more attention in his drama class during improv, he works up the best response he can think of. 

"It is?" Jeno asks dumbly, pulling up his arms and crossing them over his chest with what's detectable as a tiny gasp in faux surprise. If one thing was clear from all of this, it was that lying was not in Lee Jeno's genes. "Jaemin must've forgotten to lock it when he left." 

The woman puts her own hands on her hips and glares at him, clearly not buying whatever bullshit he was offering. Her stare was spine-chilling and made Jeno want to dig his own grave at the spot. He wondered briefly whether Jaemin was capable of looking this scary as well. Maybe it was inherited? But Jaemin wasn't this rude. 

"I'm sure you know how silly he can be sometimes." Jeno laughs, flashing his smile that Jaemin loves so much. Maybe his mother would fall weak to it as well? Probably not. Definitely not.

She points to the object in Jeno's clasp. "Is that Jaemin's phone right there?"

Jeno's smile drops into a mortified expression in an instant. In any other scenario, it would have been seen as comical, but Jeno was not laughing right now.

"No." He spits, a little too rushed for it to be taken seriously. "Must just look similar. What a coincidence." His words start to become faster, more anxious, as he slowly begins making an exit before things have the chance to get ugly. 

"You're not going anywhere." She barks, almost as a means to get the teenager to stand still. Then, she comes forward, setting the bag down by the front door and invading his personal space so that he hears her next words loud and clear. "I have your name and your school, it wouldn't be hard to turn you in for breaking and entering." She threatens. 

Jeno's gaze hardens as a small growl takes over his tone, rumbling over his words. He hated to step on sensitive topics— especially when it came to family— but this was necessary. He looked intimidating, and definitely way older than he really was. "It wouldn't be hard to turn you in for child abuse either, would it?" He lowers his voice, almost to a sharp whisper. 

Her eyes widen at the accusation. She thought for a moment that this was just some stupid kid, but now she knew for sure that something was up. "What the fuck are you talking about?" She yells angrily.

"Keep me from leaving and I'll call the police right now." Jeno says, standing his ground like his father had taught him to do from a young age. Having a dad as a businessman really helped sometimes. 

"Look I don't know what you think you're doing but you need to tell me where my son is right now I will—"

Jeno starts running. The woman standing by the apartment yells for him, but he doesn't spare a glance. He's already long gone, phone still in hand. 

It's probably about four in the morning when Jeno's sleep is interrupted as a result of the shuffling on the bed. He drearily pries his eyes open, shredding through the one ounce of rest he was able to get. Momentarily, Jeno forgets where he is until he channels all of his focus, still somewhat dazed from waking up seconds ago. 

Jaemin was awake, trying his best to stretch out his limbs over the thin sheet covering him. He wasn't making any noise besides a long, drawn-out whine. Jeno's heart starts to pound in his chest as a sense of joy floods him. 

"Nana." He whispers excitedly. Jeno wasn't tired at all now, in fact, he was sitting on the edge of his seat, glowing.

Jaemin looks to Jeno, who is hugging a teddy bear next to his bed with the biggest smile Jaemin had ever witnessed. His head is aching all over and it felt like he had been run over by a truck, but Jaemin tries to strain a grin nonetheless. Simultaneously, his eyes flick up to meet the older's, just in time for Jeno to hand him the plushie.

"Thank you." 

The smaller of the two is in the middle of repositioning himself in bed when he stops moving, seemingly sick. Jeno catches on to this and grabs a trash can from across the room, handing it to Jaemin as he leans forward, proceeding to puke into it.

After a few seconds of noises that make Jeno himself want to hurl, he grabs Jaemin a tissue and watches as the younger wipes the corners of his mouth before discarding of it. Jeno frowns, stroking Jaemin's hair gently to comfort both him and his upset stomach. 

"It's dark outside." Jaemin comments, tilting his chin upwards to lock eyes with Jeno. "Why are you here this late?" He asks, feeling somewhat guilty about becoming a burden because of everything that took place.

"Because you're here this late." Jeno steps back and takes his seat again, crossing one of his legs over the other in hopes that it would make him more comfortable. "You're not surprised to be in the hospital?" He wonders aloud. Usually, at least in movies, patients would be all lost and delirious once they woke up.

Jaemin shrugs, leaning up against his pillow with his arms in his lap. "I knew I'd probably end up here if I woke up." He speaks quietly as if not wanting to disrupt the other patients even though there was no way they'd be able to hear him. 

Jeno shoots him a questioning look. Jaemin was talking as if he planned this entire thing, and it was unsettling to him. Jeno had a feeling that the junior mixed substances on purpose, but it didn't mean he wanted to believe it.

"Renjun was about to get there, I knew he'd find me."

"What are you talking about?" Jeno blinks, the world around them closing into silence. 

Jaemin giggles a little bit, gesturing for Jeno to come forward. When he does, the younger leans in to his ear and whispers. "I made sure not to take too much. That's why I'm still alive." He says proudly with parted lips. Jeno is left in shock. 

He speaks up, only to be cut off by the happy boy. "Jaemin—"

"I'm free, Jeno." The blonde lets out a light and airy sigh— like one that you'd release after a long sip of water. "I don't feel very good— but I'm free!" He cheers yet again. The look in his eyes was wild, scary even. Jeno didn't know if Jaemin had lost it somewhere along the lines of his incident or if he was genuinely thinking straight.

Jeno takes a pause to process. It may have been the treatment Jaemin received or the effects of the alcohol he consumed earlier, but Jaemin was certainly out of the loop. He would probably be back to normal by morning, though, so Jeno doesn't get too worked up over it. 

"Jeno, look at me." Jeno does as he's told and makes eye contact. Jaemin appeared to be floating on cloud nine. It was almost dawn, but that didn't put a damper on him. He was glad. "This is my chance to escape." He says.

"I don't understand." The older states simply, feeling his hands shake a little when Jaemin reaches out to grab them. Nonetheless, he lets the boy grab on tight.

"I'm at the hospital." Jaemin starts, acting as if it was the most simple concept in the world. "After they see an attempted overdose and my burn scars, they have no reason to send me back to my mom! Do you get it now? I won't have to go back. I don't have to move away!" He squeezes Jeno's fingers— which become limp in his hold.

Jeno doesn't know how to feel. He wanted to make sense of Jaemin's scheme, but he found the whole thing to be too risky. There were so many other options he could've taken to move out, so why do something as dramatic as this? He had known that Jaemin wasn't exactly the most stable person he'd ever met, but he didn't expect him to pull something similar to attempted suicide. That just sounded ridiculous.

"You could have asked to live with one of your friends!" Jeno raises his voice, only to stop himself and backtrack to a calmer volume. "That was dangerous, Jaemin. You could have actually died. You had everyone worried sick."

"Calm down. I know how much my body can and can't handle." Jaemin assures him as if he had researched the topic more than once— another red flag. "Even if I merely ran away, my mom wouldn't be under legal investigation. It's not only the fact that I needed to get out, but she needs to face repercussions as well."

Jeno couldn't tell if this was the smartest or dumbest idea ever. He understood the intention, but not the action itself. 

However, there was no reason to scold him, it was already too late for that. "What's done is done." He says, defeated. "But what's going to happen to you now?" That was another thing Jeno was afraid of. His mom still had legal custody of him.

Jaemin bites his bottom lip and lets his eyes wander over the floor. "Well, I have an aunt who lives here in town." He says, taking in the appearance of his room and refusing to look at the boy in front of him.

"I'm sorry for scaring you." Jaemin suddenly apologizes, realizing that maybe he took things to the extreme when he shouldn't have. 

"I'm just glad you're safe." Jeno replies lowly, twisting their hands so that his are wrapped around Jaemin's instead of vice versa. Jeno's palms were warm and welcoming, Jaemin was glad that he got to sit here and feel his own hands pressed in between them. 

They stare at each other for what feels like an eternity. Jaemin was incredibly pleased with the fact that the older came to see him as well as stay by his side like this. He really did care.

"Nono, will you come lay with me? The bed is just big enough for both of us." He suggests. He knew that Jeno's back would probably hurt come tomorrow morning if he sat in that chair all night, and there was nothing he wanted more than to have the athlete near. 

It's dark, so the bright blush that blooms across the larger's face remains unnoticed. "Like, in bed?" He asks shyly. Jeno may have looked all tough and mature on the outside, but his bashful nature never seemed to leave when the two were alone. Jaemin thought it was adorable.

"No, on the floor." He teases, allowing Jeno to gape at him in confusion before he snickers and continues. "Yes, on the bed. Get over here you big sweetheart, I need hugs."

Jaemin scoots over on to the farthest edge of the bed as Jeno carefully crawls over the side and lays down facing him. Jeno stays quiet while Jaemin chuckles cutely at the close proximity of the pair. He knew that the next few weeks probably wouldn't be easy, but he'd be willing to put up with it if it meant having the opportunity to see moments like this again.

Jeno loosens up a bit after a few minutes and encircles his arms around the younger's waist. It felt awkward since there was still a considerable amount of distance between them, so in response, Jaemin scoots forward and cuddles into Jeno's chest. He rests his head up against it, soothing himself with the sound of Jeno's steady heartbeat.

"I love you." Jaemin mumbles moments later, half-asleep.

"I love you too." Jeno leans down and pecks Jaemin on the end of the nose, feeling overwhelmingly thankful.


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to add an extra chapter to this work because I decided I’ll be writing an epilogue :)

Three and a half weeks.

Three and a half weeks without being able to see Jaemin. That's the dreadfully long amount of time Jeno has to wait before the other boy is discharged from the psychiatric hospital. At first, everyone was concerned the treatment would be too expensive— considering Jaemin was basically an orphan now— but Renjun's parents had generously stepped up to pitch in a few bucks. And by a few, that meant the entirety of the bill. Turns out they were super rich, but Renjun never talked about it for some reason.

School was strange without the blonde stepping down the hallways in his usual, timid fashion. There weren't too many peers who seemed to care, but Jeno would catch himself glancing over at Jaemin's seat in history, or at his table during lunch. The rooms felt cold and empty. Jeno was uncomfortable. Additionally, the fact that Mark ditched the basketball team to permanently sit with his boyfriend in the cafeteria only made things worse.

Then again, it was definitely a good thing Jaemin was getting the help he needed. There was no way for Jeno to relate to what Jaemin had been through, but he knew that it couldn't have been easy. He saw the toll that it took on the younger boy. He was hopeful that after the chaos came to a close, Jaemin could take effective steps to becoming genuinely happy. For him to look to the future without questioning whether or not he would exist at that point. 

As for Ms.Na, she was sentenced to a hefty number of years in prison after further examination on Jaemin's mental and physical health. Rumor has it that her boyfriend ditched town and moved away by himself after she was arrested. 

Jaemin's aunt was more than glad to accept her nephew into her house with open arms after his release. She was his father's sister. A middle-aged, suburban woman who smelled like homemade cookies and had a day job as a receptionist. She lived in a rather large home despite being unmarried with no kids of her own, and Jaemin found the extra space odd. Living with his mom, there was never enough room for the two of them to be comfortable, but now there was more than he knew what to do with.

The weekend before Jaemin goes back to school, Renjun decides to host a welcome back party in which all of their close friends could attend and tell Jaemin how much they missed him while he was away. Jaemin and his aunt both agree that it would be a good idea, which leads to six excited boys standing on their doorstep come Saturday evening. 

Jaemin greets each of them with a bright smile, his eyes scanning over their faces. Renjun, Chenle, Jisung, Donghyuck, Mark, and...

Lucas?

He's taken a bit aback seeing the tall senior to say the least. But alas, Lucas was standing there with an arm slung around the shortest's shoulders. Jaemin recalls hearing about them at the party together, so he tries not to act too surprised. 

"I hope you don't mind me bringing Yukhei along." Renjun sighs, the look in his eyes signaling to the others that he was ready to beat the clingy male to death. He then goes on to explain that the two are dating once again— because apparently they had dated before— and Renjun claimed he didn't want to be a 'seventh-wheel' that night. Jaemins nods. The more the merrier, right?

The group moves inside, where Jaemin's aunt spares a brief 'hello' before returning to her home office, saying that she wanted to 'stay out of their hair.' Jaemin grabs a few of them glasses of water and then proceeds to lead his friends into the living room where they could all spread out among the sofa and loveseat set.

They catch up, talking freely about everything and anything under the sun. They even go as far as to discuss what the seniors would be doing for graduation this year. However, Donghyuck is the one to cut that topic short, getting too sentimental after being reminded that Mark would be leaving for college in a few months. Jaemin slips a small frown at the thought of the two being separated. 

The resonating sound of the doorbell chimes and bounces off the walls inside the house, causing Jaemin to jolt his chin in the direction of the front door. He doesn't have a moment to process what's happening before his feet begin to move by themselves, dragging the boy over to the door as quickly as possible. 

Jaemin swings open the front door and instantly feels as if he's just won the lottery. He inhales the familiar warmth as it seeps into his veins, pumping at the same rate as his overjoyed heart.

"Jaemin..." Jeno deadpans for a start, only to get cut off when the younger takes one look at the boy standing on his porch and then tackles him to the ground with a big hug, causing Jeno to cough at the unexpected impact. The series of coughs then transforms into what sounds like a fit of snickers. 

"I missed you!" Jaemin tightens his grasp on Jeno's shirt and leans down to start peppering kisses all over his face— not even concerned about the dozens of bugs in the dirt that may begin to venture over them any second. He pulls away to admire the athlete's features, which stare up at him in awe. It hadn't been that long since the two were last together, but Jaemin himself had already changed some, Jeno couldn't help but notice.

His formerly skeleton-like physique had been removed with the addition of some extra weight. Jaemin's face was looking just a little fuller, and Jeno was sure that with a few extra months of good eating, his displayable rack of ribs would be replaced by a tiny tummy pouching out. The older couldn't wait to see it. He was excited to be able to bury his face in Jaemin's squishy stomach and trail little smooches over the skin. 

"Hey lovebirds, coming inside?" Renjun's voice can be heard yelling at the pair from inside the living room. Jaemin chuckles, pressing his forehead against Jeno's. He then proceeds to get up and grab the larger's hand, hoisting him up off the ground and walking back into the house. 

The sleepover commences, and soon turns into a lame game of truth or dare which really just ends up being Jisung having a mental breakdown while trying to remember the last time he did anything relatively risqué— which was truthfully never. 

Much to the others' relief, Jaemin has no problem enjoying himself the entire time.

—

"Jaemin, wake up."

A whisper brushes passed Jaemin's ear as he lays motionless on the floor, piled under an impressive plethora of blankets and pillows. All of the boys had laid down on the living room floor that night, and the only thing Jaemin knows waking up was that it was still pitch black outside. Nonetheless, he identifies the other boy as Jeno and forces himself awake, repeatedly having to wipe his eyes. 

"What?" He rolls over on his side to come face to face with the brunette— who was staring back at him with a cheeky grin. 

"Want to come watch the sunrise with me?" Jeno questions, and that's all it takes to get Jaemin out of his comfortable position. Lazily, he puts on his shoes to rejoins Jeno outside, making sure not to disrupt anyone else's sleep while getting ready. 

He doesn't stop to ask where they're going— he doesn't even think to question. Under normal circumstances, he may have bombarded Jeno with his inquiries, but he was too drowsy. It had been weeks, maybe months, since Jaemin woke up this early, so he was having a hard time attempting to get his brain to catch up with the rest of him. 

Together, Jaemin and Jeno start their journey down the sidewalk. The trip is silent other than the small pitter-patter of the boys' feet pressing against the pavement— and even that was light. Jaemin drags himself along, falling a few feet behind Jeno. He didn't understand how the older could be so alert at this hour.

Jaemin takes the opportunity to look around at the still life surrounding them. The world that they usually knew was still asleep, and only small beings like insects or birds were shuffling around in the lush neighborhood. A canvas of fainting stars flicker above the slow-moving heads and offer a good morning. Jaemin smiles.

Things were so beautiful at dawn. After a couple minutes, Jaemin comes to and is able to fully take in the earth and all of its glory spinning under him. The sky overhead starts to become a lighter shade, and Jeno tells himself that they should hurry if they wanted to catch the breaking point. 

The smaller plays a game with himself, kicking a rock forward with every step closer to their mysterious destination. He gets unexpectedly competitive with himself, making internal bets and trying his best to get as far as possible with the pebble. 

Unfortunately, Jaemin loses track of his stone when he almost dives nose-forward into Jeno's back. In the time he was preoccupied, the two managed to arrive at the entrance of the local park. Jaemin should probably have been able to predict this, but he was still glad. He loved the park.

Jeno, who stopped to let Jaemin come up to his side, takes the latter's hand in his own and keeps walking. Jaemin spots— and waves to— a few squirrels climbing down some bark. He was always quite fond of wildlife, and the little rodents were no exception. He remembers trying to catch one when he was little, but the poor boy was returned with a pair of teeth sunk into his thumb and a trip to the hospital. 

They make it to the little hill off to the edge of the park. The incline was small, but enough to make Jaemin clutch down harder on Jeno's hand, who subconsciously takes the lead once again while he treads. 

Jaemin remembers here. This is where Jeno brought him when they came to drink smoothies. It was the first time they held hands. Jaemin digs up the memory of the two trying each other's drinks and talking about how good things were hidden in plain sight. He didn't understand then, but Jaemin definitely got it now. 

"Usually the sunset is the most visible from here, but you can get a good view in the morning too." Jeno bites the inside of his cheek and speaks for the first time since they left the house. "The morning colors are really nice reflecting off the water."

"I'm sure it'll be gorgeous." Jaemin confirms with a positive nod, his voice quiet and fragile. It was somewhat chilly outside, so the only evidence of his words were the small puffs whirling around and following behind them. 

The teenagers stand near the ledge of the hill, staring down at the view scraped out below them like a blueprint. Something about the scene felt comforting— like a snowy evening spent by the fireplace. Jaemin was almost breathless, captivated by the pure, natural charm. The very top of the sun could be seen poking out over the vast land. 

Jaemin feels at home.

"I've been thinking—" Jeno suddenly clears his throat, making Jaemin jump a little as he dissociates from his thoughts. This sounded important. 

Jaemin hums against his pressed lips, waiting for Jeno to keep going. Admittedly, he gets anxious, not knowing what direction this conversation would steer. He hoped it was good— no, great. He wished for Jeno to tell him something amazing.

And he does, because Lee Jeno never disappoints. 

"You know this, but I love you." He says, not daring to turn his head and look at the younger. "All of you, even the parts you might not like as much. I'm in love with you as a whole." He talks as quietly as possible, his sentences hanging from his mouth and threatening to be blown away by the gentle breeze. 

"Jeno..."

Jeno spins on his heels and stares Jaemin dead in the eyes, swallowing his nervousness. Jeno liked to sometimes imagine that he was manly, but his wavering tone suggested otherwise. It was cute though. "I had a favor to ask." He says. 

The blonde stays quiet, curling his fingers into the hem of his loose hoodie and toying with the fabric. 

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

Jaemin's sweet, chocolate eyes widen in disbelief. As much as he wants to chuckle and shoot Jeno a 'nice one, Nono', something about the boy's expression keeps him from doing so. He soon realizes that Jeno is being completely serious, and was waiting for an answer. 

Waiting really did get Jaemin somewhere. 

"I'd love to." He muses in a struggled reply. 

Jeno looks at the ground, a smile cracking through his worked up anterior. He would like to say that his heart was beating abnormally fast, but Jeno couldn't make out anything apart from the fresh sunshine glowing on him. It was probably all in his head, but he couldn't tell the difference— nor could he care enough to try. 

He had a boyfriend now.

Not only a boyfriend, but the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. He had Na Jaemin, which was surely worth more than any price tag could ever suggest. 

A rustle is heard, and when Jeno looks back up to keep the conversation going, his lips are caught in between Jaemin's— who is now a lot closer to him, pressing his frame into Jeno's own. The thinner boy throws his arms over Jeno's neck and holds on to the back of his head. Jeno can feel the life being sucked out of him by the gleeful student who tasted like toothpaste— and he was over the moon about it. Their lips would be undeniably red and frustrated after this, but that wasn't a good enough reason to make them stop.

In fact, you probably couldn't give either of them a good enough reason. It wasn't possible. Finally, nothing could pry them apart. 

The sun borders the skyline, and the clouds erupt into a palette of heated colors. Hues of orange and yellow collaborate with the crystal waters underneath to paint a stunning, sparkle-filled picture in the sky like they did every morning. But this sunrise was special. This one directly revealed how the new couple down below were feeling in that timeless moment. 

Jaemin giggles into the kiss, filling even the tiniest of gaps between them with his irreplaceable laughter that Jeno was absolutely wild about.

Jaemin never lived in a place that he could consider home. A home was supposed to be the place where you could relax and be yourself. Somewhere to come back to and indulge in what it is that you like, no matter what that may be. Somewhere that felt like the embodiment of love itself. Somewhere that would stay with you wherever you were.

Maybe Jeno was his home.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yerim best girl

Jaemin had no idea that he'd be receiving such protection when he returned to school the following week. Some would describe his state as being merely "sheltered", but Jaemin thought it was more intense than that. He was being suffocated with love and affection from his friends— who all claimed that it was their quote-unquote duty to keep him safe from now on.

Even Renjun, who wasn't known for being the most loving member of their group, was stuck to Jaemin's side like super glue, making sure nothing happened to the younger. Jaemin found that it was somewhat amusing to see his closest peers all scurrying to accompany him wherever he went. Just yesterday, the short, black-haired boy saw a banana peel on the floor and kicked it away in a panicking fury, mentioning that he saw people slip on them in cartoons and that they were a hazard. 

One day, they even went as far as to pack a lunch from home for Jaemin. Their logic was that the school food was too ominous. So sure enough, Donghyuck arrived to the building in the morning with a lunchbox in his grasp, which he then handed over to Jaemin and told him to bring back after he got done eating. Jaemin personally thought it was overdramatic, but he still enjoyed the surprisingly delicious sandwich that was prepared for him. 

And Jeno. Jeno was the worst— or best? Jaemin wasn't sure what to call it. All he knew was that after each and every single one of his classes, the peppy brunette would be waiting for him outside the classroom, ready to lock their arms together and carry Jaemin's things while they tread through the hallways. This whole boyfriend thing was turning out to be kind of strange, but the younger didn't mind. It was sweet— no matter how many times he watched Jeno struggle to transfer both Jaemin's supplies and his own, dropping something every once in a while and then bending over to pick it up only to lose more. 

That's when Jaemin would step in, ruffling Jeno's hair and pecking him on the cheek before insisting that he wasn't helpless, and could carry his stuff. The message was relayed to the older every day, but the scenario resumed to played out quotidianly. 

Nobody outside their social circle knew the cause behind Jaemin's extended absence. Apparently, Jisung and Chenle put their heads together to formulate some extravagant lie in order to cover for Jaemin. They told the entire school that their friend had traveled to Mexico for a few weeks in order to experience a 'multicultural-awakening' as they dubbed it. Jaemin rolled his eyes when they told him, but he laughed along nonetheless. Their efforts were cute, he'd give them that. 

Something else Jaemin found interesting was how Daeshim reportedly stopped harassing his underclassmen like the bully he was known to be. From what Jaemin himself had seen, the senior refused to make eye contact with him, and was a lot quieter than he was before Jaemin left. Lucas wasn't even hanging out with him anymore. In fact, it seemed like no one was.

Of course Daeshim still had those who looked up to him, but the number shrank drastically. The boy who used to sit with fifteen or more people at lunch now only had five. It was a sight Jaemin never expected himself to be sanctified enough to see— but he also decided that the word "impossible" barely existed anymore with recent events. 

Jaemin started going to weekly therapy sessions as well to talk about what happened to him throughout his short, yet disappointing, life. His doctor was a nice, young man who would nod along and listen as he was allowed to talk about whatever he wanted. Despite the guy's stern features and dark hair, he had a heart of gold and would always draw into the conversation whatever it was Jaemin wanted to speak about. It was nice. 

Occasionally, Jaemin would ask him about his own career and his life as a child. Mr.Seo would always be more than happy to share about himself, as he felt like it could possibly inspire Jaemin, and it did. They talked about everything. Whether it be what the teenager wanted to be when he grew up, or about how he can work towards a life that makes him feel successful, Mr.Seo offered the best advice. Though, it was kind of his job to do that. 

At home, Jaemin's aunt would usually ask him to help around the house. Not wanting to feel like a burden, he'd accept. Most kids would be somewhat irked by the need to get up and clean, but Jaemin smiled the whole time, helping his aunt bake or pick weeds out of the garden. Sometimes, one of his friends would stop by to also pitch in. Then, all three of them would work together to complete the easy tasks.

Jaemin wanted to cry, but not out of sadness. Everyone had been taking such good care of him— he didn't exactly know how to respond. It was the first time in forever that he felt like multiple people were on his side, supporting him and pushing him forward.

But he wasn't the only one going through big changes.

Yeri was becoming less scarce as well. That girl— she was always someone strong who Jaemin admired for her determination and hard work— Jaemin didn't see how she could continue to grow, but she did. 

Rather than being dragged along by a scary boyfriend, Yerim— who preferred to go by her actual name rather than a nickname now (she said it felt more true to herself)— was partaking in several school-related activities and helping out more than ever before. She showed everybody a smiling face, except for Daeshim.

The stickers were becoming less and less needed to cover Jaemin up. Not only was his aunt buying burn creams to help treat the scars, but it was also getting colder outside— so there was less skin revealed. He hadn't taken a stop at the gas station since before he was admitted to the hospital, if that tells you anything.

Overall, life was looking surprisingly decent for everyone. 

—

"You said you had something to tell me?" Jaemin turns his head with squinted eyes to look at the girl next to him— her figure barely able to be made out thanks to the sun shining annoyingly in his face. Rather comically, it was cloudy for the whole day until then. 

Yerim continues to look at the concrete in front of her, cotton-colored shoes scuffing against the pavement. She was fine at school earlier, but now she was behaving unusually quiet, and it was making Jaemin somewhat uncomfortable. It made him feel like there was something wrong, he he wouldn't have expected there to be. Finally, she replies with a slow nod that her friend is hardly able to see. "Yeah, but first of all, how are you?" She asks, lifting her head. 

The blonde's lips pull into a thin, coy smile. There were a million things he could say, but he settles on keeping things short for her sake. 

"I'm doing better." He says simply, because it's the truth. He still wasn't perfect by any means, but he was starting to work through things even if there were occasional roadblocks along the way. It was a gradual process, and he was willing to put in the needed effort whether it took three years or as long as three decades. 

"That's good news." She replies, seemingly lost in a trance. "You know, I was really worried about you when you left." Yerim admits, finally locking eyes with the younger after recalling what was almost the entirety of the last month. Jaemin knew she cared despite the two not being in constant contact. He could feel his heartstrings being tugged by her concerned gaze. 

Now it's Jaemin's turn to look away in embarrassment. He felt guilty about leaving everybody without an explanation, but he had his own reasons for keeping it confidential. 

"I'm sorry about that." Jaemin's tone drops to a lower one as he absentmindedly picks at one of his fingernails. 

"Don't worry about it!" Yerim insists, waving her hands around in the air as if to dismiss his apology. She was so kind and understanding— Jaemin was blessed to be in her presence. "You seem happier now." She adds, grinning from ear to ear. 

Jaemin glances up to the sky, tracing over what was remaining of the day's clouds which were moving away at the rate of a tortoise. He breaks out into a shy chuckle at her comment, feeling tempted to clam up and become a blushing mess. It always flustered Jaemin when he had to talk about himself. "I am."

"And you're dating Jeno?"

"Yeah..." He confirms, his voice trailing off. The boy fights back a blush, but it's revealed to be completely in vain only moments later when he turns the color of a tomato against the cool evening breeze. "He's pretty great." Jaemin digs his fingers into the pockets of his jacket, and the two keep walking.

"You know he's dead if he hurts you." Yerim laughs, sounding somewhere smack dab in between a joke and a threat. Jaemin figures he must have given her the craziest look he could muster, because she redacts the statement immediately. "I'm just kidding! ...Kinda."

The male wants to derail the conversation before it goes too far into his personal affairs. "What about you though?" He questions, changing the subject to Yerim instead. "After your breakup with Daeshim you seem—"

"—Also happier." She finishes his sentence proudly, her chest puffed out in a mock sense of dignity.

She stares off in the distance for some time and works at gathering her own thoughts, internally wording what to say next. Yerim tried her best to not do this often around others, as she was afraid it made conversations awkward and tense, but she felt comfortable enough around a childhood friend like Jaemin. Admittedly, Jaemin was her only long-running friend anymore.

"It's funny. You don't realize how much someone is holding you back until they're gone." The senior huffs a bit, rubbing her hands together to keep them warm and dodging a few kids who were riding scooters downtown— Who plays outside in the late fall? That question was beyond Jaemin's capability of answering, but he knew that when he was a kid, the most active thing he did in autumn was rake leaves. 

The younger shakes his head at himself, trying to get back on track and in tune with what they were talking about. "What do you mean?" He pauses, suddenly interested in her monologue. 

Yerim pauses, her movement concurrently coming to a full stop. Neither make a single sound, and the only thing Jaemin is listening to shifts to the small brush of the leaves hanging around them from the few trees that were left up in this part of town. There were a beautiful array of bright leaves, ranging from a caramel brown to a flame-like red. 

"So I decided months ago that I was apply for whatever college Daeshim was going to." Yerim admits, looking slightly ashamed with her past self. Jaemin knew that, unfortunately, it wasn't uncommon for couples to attend the same school after graduation. He was personally against it, knowing that each of them would most likely be more prosperous with their own choice.

Yerim continues to ramble on in an attempt to justify her former submissiveness, and Jaemin feels himself gravitate towards her. He comes closer with each of her words until the two are moving forward again, but hand in hand this time. As an older sister figure to him, Jaemin felt safe being this near. 

"...But I recently changed my mind and and going to study abroad." She concludes, leaving Jaemin with a wide mouth and a shocked attitude.

Jaemin squeezes her hand loosely in reaction, unsure of how to process this. "Oh my god really?!" He perks up, energy shooting from head to toe. "That's great! Where?!" He wonders aloud, finding it hard to imagine one of his best friends being so far away for lord knows how long. 

"Europe." Yerim answers, relieved that the boy looked intrigued— and excited— by her decision. "They contacted me a few months ago, and I really wanted to go, but Daeshim told me it sounded ridiculous. He said it was stupid to go so far away when you could learn here." She closes her eyes as if it was a way for her to shut out those old memories. It doesn't stop them, but Jaemin's enthusiasm sure does. 

"I'm glad you decided to go through with it."

"Me too." She snickers a bit, filling the deafening silence that was forcing into their atmosphere. Yerim didn't want things to turn awkward now that Jaemin knew she was leaving. He said he was happy for her, but that didn't change the fact that she'd be thousands of miles away in a few months. 

After some time, Yerim clears her throat. "You know, we should do this more often. Hanging out, just you and I." She says, raising her free hand to gesture in between the two. 

Jaemin nods. "I agree. It'd be nice to spend more time together."

"Jeno won't mind?"

He shakes his head steadily with a brow quirked in confusion. "Why would he?" Jaemin scoffs. He had seen his boyfriend get protective of him once before, but Jeno was aware that Yerim was one of his closest friends. He couldn't see Jeno getting envious of her just because the two wanted some alone time. 

Yerim breathes out weakly. That must've been something else to add to the list of things her last boyfriend was too weird about. "Nothing, it's just— Daeshim used to get upset when I hung out with people who weren't him. He was quite the loser, huh?" The shorter purses her lips.

"I'd say." Jaemin jokes along, as he was plenty willing to take a jab at the senior he hated more than any other. 

Yerim breaks their hands apart and punches him in the arm playfully. "I have a ton of homework to do. Let's get you home."

Then, Jaemin feels the light weight of the girl resting on his shoulders, and he giggles. "Okay."


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chenle being a basketball mom,,,  
> also happy belated Taeil day!!

The last basketball game of the season approaches, and as a result of that, the boys' significant others are started to be seen less and less. They were training vigorously, so it was rare for them to be available outside of their classes. Donghyuck complained about it the most, considering Mark would be graduating later that year— meaning their time was already limited. Lucas was going to leave at the end of the year too, but Renjun pretended not to care— even though literally everybody and their mothers could tell he did.

They're all a bit distraught with the situation until Chenle comes up with an amazing idea the weekend before the big game. That's what leads them here, piled up on a musty basketball court at three in the afternoon on a Saturday. The non-athletes are standing on the sidelines, watching their other halves pass the orange ball back and forth. 

There were only four players on the court, so the group split it up between teams of two. Jeno was with Jisung, and Mark was paired with Lucas. It was only a street game, so nobody bothered to keep an official score, but Renjun sweared on his life that the senior team was a solid five points ahead by the end of second quarter.

Jaemin smiles the entire time watching, he was simply happy with the fact that the court was outside. Sure, it was kind of cold, but that only gave him a better excuse to grab a hot coffee on the way. A soft dew laid over the grass in an unbothered sense, unaffected by the scarce sunlight— and shaded by the many clouds filling the sky. 

"I dare you to act like a cheerleader." Donghyuck whispers, not-so quietly, in Chenle's ear when he grows bored with watching his boyfriend skid across the concrete. 

Chenle returns his offer with a scoff and a pair of rolled eyes. "Don't be ridiculous." He says, straightening his back on the wall behind him to stop slouching. "Why don't you do it instead of me? I'm sure Mark would like that idea miles more than Jisung would if it were me."

"Good point." Donghyuck beams just before taking a step forward to the edge of the playing area and wrapping his hands in a circular motion around his mouth— as if it were a makeshift megaphone. He starts screaming. "Go Mark! Go Mark! Kick their ass or else you're trash!" The boy waves his arms around in the air, chanting.

The guys behind him in the stands erupt into a fit of laughter as they watch Mark side-eye his boyfriend, trying his hardest to stay concentrated despite obvious distractions being in place. A soft blush blossoms over his features after a few moments, and he loses his composure. Trying to pry his eyes away from Hyuck's cute little dance moves is proven to be impossible as he loses grasp of the ball.

Jaemin feels a rough elbow nudge into his arm, and he snaps his head in the direction of the force to be met with Renjun's eyes jarring into him. "This is so lame." He says, his bored tone being mixed with one of annoyance. "And Donghyuck is starting to give me a headache." —'What a party pooper.'

The younger lifts his shoulders into a careless shrug. "I don't mind it. I mean, it's important that they practice, right? They need to win this upcoming game. I'd rather stand out here than not be able to see them at all."

"I guess."

Jisung darts around Lucas's oversized form and dives into what should be a foolproof opportunity to score. Unfortunately, his hands slip last minute over the curve of the ball, and he misses his shot, only to have Mark swoop in out of nowhere and rebound without a second to spare. Stepping out into the court, Chenle presses his lips together and whistles, holding out his hands in front of him to signal the teams to stop playing.

Everyone pauses in their positions and stares at the fiery-haired boy, confused as to why he stopped them. Meanwhile, Chenle pinches the skin in between his eyes and shakes his head, seemingly disappointed with their performance.

"Mark, hand it over." He commands sternly, and the ravenette doesn't hesitate before passing Chenle the ball in his hands. The sophomore then ushers everyone off to the sidelines and suggests that he'll take the reins for a moment. "Watch closely, guys, your technique is looking too messy out here. I know for a fact that your coach wouldn't let this slide."

Each of the sweaty athletes take their time displaying a different type of puzzled look as Chenle starts speaking. Since when did he of all people know so much about basketball? It would make more sense if it was something like science or history, but Zhong Chenle being familiar with a sport? Something wasn't adding up— especially to Jisung, who thought he knew the boy like the back of his hand by now. 

Chenle demonstrates some of his own strategies to the group, smiling proudly to himself when he proceeds to sink every shot into the hoop. They soon discover that not only did Chenle know about basketball, but he was oddly talented at it too. Everyone takes internal notes of his coaching and even begins to ask questions to which Chenle replies with a curt, 'don't overthink it, just do it.'

Jisung had never seen this side of Chenle before, but he was loving it. This wasn't his sweet and submissive boyfriend he was used to. No, this was a whole different breed of prodigy, and for a moment, he felt like the older would hold a better spot on the team than him. The only advantage Jisung had over Chenle was his height, and that barely counted when you took into consideration that the freshman was only a smidge taller in the first place.

"Hey, Ji." Chenle, who had gotten a lot closer in the span of ten seconds, snaps his fingers in front of the youngest's face. "Are you even listening to me? You look like you're somewhere else, but I need your attention here right now."

"Yes sir." Jisung sing-songs with a coo and a naughty smirk. Chenle sounded like one of his teachers, and he couldn't help but be amused. 

After a thorough tutor session from 'Mr.Zhong', the boys return to their game and continue playing— paying more attention to their posture than before. It delayed reaction time a bit, but at least they were moving smoothly. Chenle smiles as he sits back and watches the instant improvement. Maybe his few years of basketball lessons hadn't gone to waste after all.

—

Game day comes quick and the audience turnout is better than expected to say the least. To go into detail, there was barely any room in the bleachers, and everyone was seated shoulder-to-shoulder, breathing on each other like a bunch of animals. Jaemin didn't like being crammed in here with the rest of the student body, but he had no choice. 

When Jeno enters the court, his grin widens, and he sees the older point to his cheek where Jaemin gave him a 'good-luck kiss' only minutes before in the hallway. Jaemin had no desire to go through with it since the rest of the team was standing just inside the locker room, but Jeno insisted and said that he didn't care if they saw. He also brought up that other couples would kiss around the school, so there was no reason for the pair to be scared of it— even if they were two boys. Jaemin only chuckled and came forward to press his lips to Jeno's face in reply. 

So now he sits, waiting for first quarter to begin with Yerim pressed into his side. She wasn't there to watch anyone in particular— except for maybe Kunhang, she had admitted to Jaemin that she thought Kunhang was cute. Jaemin couldn't disagree with that. 

Not too long into the evening, the clock starts and the selected players for the first part of the game face those of their main competitor's. Jaemin noticed over his short experience attending sporting events that there were a few schools they could beat every time, those they lost to every time, and also those that would lean either way depending on what day it was. This school was one they'd lose to quiet often, so tensions were high.

By the beginning of second quarter, Jaemin's school was up by four points, but that could be changed in as little as a moment's change. And it does. The points become flip-flopped when the guest school takes the offense and works their way around the other players. Jaemin bites his lip in between his teeth nervously. It was early on, so he acknowledged that he shouldn't get too anxious yet, but something about it still ate at him. 

When halftime arrives, Jeno's coach drags the team into the locker room and the people in the stands begin talking amongst themselves. Jaemin's eyes dart around the gymnasium and eventually land on the scoreboard, where their opponents were now ahead by a resounding seven points. 

"Tough competition, huh?" Yerim comments as she looks at Jaemin, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Don't worry so much, I'm sure they'll be fine." She pats him on the shoulder. 

"I mean..." The blonde starts, leaning back —only to rest on some girl's legs, which he then apologizes for. "It's not going to affect me any if we lose, I just know it'll be harder on the team, especially the graduating seniors if we don't start picking things up out there."

Yerim nods. "That's probably a good point."

Fifteen minutes passes by all too quick, and everyone returns to their positions. Jisung and Mark are brought out for the third portion along with a few of their teammates. Luckily, they reclaim their status of 'winning' and several 'fans' sigh with relief, standing up to cheer them on just before Jisung takes a shot from the three point line, which swishes gracefully into the net without issue. Chenle pumps his fist in the air in excitement.

"That's my boyfriend!" He announces with a puffed chest— though, nobody was listening if Jaemin's being honest. 

Just like usual, Jeno gets brought into the game for fourth quarter, and Jaemin feels his jaw clench. It's almost like a switch flips in the older's head, and he becomes someone else while playing. On the court, Jeno was speedy and aggressive, nothing like his persona that everyone knew and loved him for. He would truly transform. 

Lucas and Daeshim were also out to play, but their main strategy seemed to revolve around their towering height. In comparison to some of the other guys out there, those two were gigantic, not to mention rather muscular as well. Jaemin figures basketball must be a scary game to play when your opponents are double your size. He almost feels sorry for the sophomore Lucas is guarding. Almost.

Things run slightly overtime, but when the buzzer brings them to a stop, the home team wins with a small, but relevant gap. Jaemin can't keep the smile off his lips as he observes them gather into a circle and spread around a series of victorious high-fives. 

Yerim, who was Jaemin's ride home, stands up and grabs on to the boy's hand so they won't get separated leaving the school. Jaemin follows along quietly while stealing glances at all the happy people scattered about. 

They're nearly out of the building as she pauses and tells Jaemin to stay put for a few moments. "I'm going to go use the restroom, but I'll be right back, okay?"

He nods.

Yerim isn't gone for long when Jaemin feels a warm and damp weight slung around his frame. He stumbles a bit, being pushed down by the boy on top of him as a forced laugh is knocked out of his lungs. Nonetheless, he grips on in return and places his chin on the other's shoulder.

"Jaemin!" Jeno slightly lifts the boy in his arms and spins in quick circles. Jaemin's eyes threaten to pop out of their sockets at the realization that his feet are now off the ground. "We won!" He beams over and over again.

"Put me down!" Jaemin whines in between his giggles, somewhat crushed by Jeno's arms hoisting him up into the air. "You're all gross and sweaty." He hits the larger on the back until he feels the floor underneath him again. He sighs, making eye contact. "But yes, I saw. You did really well. I'm proud of you." His mouth pulls into its familiar curve as he raises a hand to push a lock of brown hair out of Jeno's face.

Jeno purses his lips. "I'm telling you, it was the cheek kiss. You're like— my good luck charm. My Nana, I'll always win as long as you're behind me."

Jaemin feels flustered by the sudden claim but externally rolls his eyes in a playful fashion. "Sure, we'll go with that."

"You know what?" Jeno tilts his head, reaching down to interlock their fingers in the middle of the hallway— but again, Jeno didn't care. "We should do something nice to celebrate." He suggests, rubbing Jaemin's knuckle gently with the pad of his thumb. 

"Like what?" Jaemin asks, burning a bright red as he could feel the students' stares landing on the couple. 

"Are you free tomorrow?" 

"No." Jaemin deadpans, watching Jeno's expression grow surprised. He snickers quietly before retracting his answer. "I'm just kidding. Yes, I am."

Jeno groans at how Jaemin was messing with him despite Jeno trying to be completely serious, but he waves it off and continues to pitch his offer. "You, me, tomorrow morning, our first official date. What do you say? I'll pay for everything." 

Jaemin grins. "That sounds fun."

Jeno's heart flutters. "Awesome. I'll pick you up at ten then?" He lets go of the other boy's hands and takes a step back, preparing to make his departure before his coach finds the two and yells at him. 

"Alright. As long as you smell better in the morning than you do now, stinky." Jaemin dubs with a tease, grabbing the bridge of his nose and waving his other hand in front of his face as if to get rid of an odor. 

"You've got it, sweetheart." A low chuckle resides in the base ofJeno's throat as he comes close once again to peck the younger on the lips. He then whirls around to join the rest of his friends in the locker room, leaving Jaemin behind on the tips of his toes with joy.

"Hey you ready to go?" Yerim returns, cutting through Jaemin's thoughts as he watches Jeno leave.

"Yeah. Let's go."


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I can’t end the book without nomin’s first date

As Jaemin pulls the belt around his slender waist, he exhales in an attempt to ease his nerves. He didn't know why he felt especially on edge this morning— yes, it was his first date, but it wasn't like he and Jeno were strangers or had never been alone together before. The two were close, so Jaemin should have no problem feeling comfortable going out in public with their relationship finally established. 

But he's still terrified.

Even stranger was that Jeno invited him out on a morning date. Dates usually happen at night, right? So why was the older coming over so early into the day? Date. The word sounded funny and comical in a sense that Jaemin wasn't able to pinpoint. The only thing his anxiety springs forward is the idea that Jaemin was simply losing it under pressure. 

"Do I look okay?" Jaemin turns to his aunt seated on his bed and holds out his arms, doing a brief spin to give her a full view of his outfit. "Or how about my hair? Wait— do I smell alright? Oh my god what if he thinks I stink—"

"You look great." She claps her hands together and confirms with a nod. "Everything is fine, Jaemin. You need to take a breather and calm down. It'll be good, trust me." The woman stands up and walks over, filing a hand through Jaemin's hair to readjust a pesky bit that was trying to stand up on its own. 

"If you say so." He mumbles, eyes trailing up his aunt's wrist. 

They're just about to resume conversation when the doorbell rings from the lower level, and Jaemin's knees suddenly feel very weak. He's in the middle of opening his mouth to say that he can't do this— but his aunt beats him to the punch and tells the boy to go get the door and have loads of fun.

Jaemin grumbles the entire way down the stairs and pauses in front of the main entrance, checking his appearance once again in a nearby mirror before opening the door. He's met with the sight of Jeno standing all dressed up, a small (yet tasteful) bouquet of white daisies in hand. He stands there with a bright smile on his face as he looks the younger up and down, and Jaemin can feel himself fight the urge to blush.

Jeno extends a single hand and offers Jaemin the flowers, which he accepts and then gestures for Jeno to come inside so he can find somewhere to put them. The two make their way into the kitchen, where Jaemin passes off the bouquet to his aunt and requests that she puts them in water while they're gone. She waves them off, declaring that she'll take care of everything, and the couple walks out into the front yard.

The brunette steps up to the passenger side of his car and holds the door open for Jaemin, who gets in quietly while twiddling with his fingers. How was he supposed to behave?

Jaemin looks up to lock his vision on his beautiful boyfriend when the latter gets in the driver's seat and begins to fix his mirror. Jeno swears Jaemin's stare is about to burn little holes in his skin, so he finally turns to speak.

"You look so cute." He gushes, adoring the way Jaemin's hair appeared extra fluffy today. He would reach out and touch it if the action wasn't guaranteed to mess the style up. "But you look a little tense, are you okay?" 

The younger nods from his spot and tries to reassure Jeno. "I'm fine— great, actually." Jaemin gulps, feeling bad for worrying him. "I'm just a little nervous is all. Also, you look really nice too, but what else is new?" He asks, stirring a chuckle from Jeno, who is now starting the car and pulling out into the road. 

"Thank you, baby." He smiles, eyes now drilling into the pavement under the young sun in the sky. There's a short pause in the banter, and everything feels comfortable. Jaemin takes a few deep breaths, not wanting to be the reason their first ever date became a failure. With a bit of time, he convinces himself everything would be okay.

Jaemin notices a speck of cat fur on Jeno's leg and points to his thigh enthusiastically. "Is that Callie?" He questions, a glint or amusement on his face. Jeno flicks his gaze to his pants and then releases a heavy sigh.

"Yes, I told her to stay off of me this morning but you know how pets can be. But it's okay, I always come prepared." He says. "If you reach into the console, there should be a lint roller in there for times just like this. Can you get it and remove the hair for me?" Jeno requests, gesturing lightly to the compartment next to Jaemin's side. 

Said boy nods and proceeds to lint roll Jeno's clothes as they drive, making sure to avoid bumping his arms too much. It was quite the odd position, leaning over Jeno while he drives in order to tarnish his cat's work, but Jaemin enjoyed it. It was unusually adorable in a sense. Very on-brand.

When they stop moving, they're presented with the view of a restaurant in the downtown area. Jaemin listens intently as Jeno goes on and on about how delicious their pancakes are, and the two head inside, so they can wait to be seated. 

"Plus, I know you like coffee. I always bring you iced ones in the little jar, but you can get some real coffee here." Jeno concludes his miniature spiel as they stand in the short line, the scent of maple syrup swirling around in the air and heightening under the ambient lights. It was a local business, one of those places passed down the family tree, and Jaemin loved this kind of thing. The warmhearted nature and greetings inside were enough to make him feel cozy. 

They get seated by a woman with short, brown hair and bright teeth. The two boys follow her as she wiggles her way in between a countless number of tables and ultimately brings them to a booth in the corner of the room, saying they were all occupied other than that. Jeno dismisses the concern from the woman and says it'll be fine, so they sit down. 

Halfway throughout a conversation with Jeno, Jaemin's eyes begin to wander, and end up scanning over the empty booth next to them. He wasn't looking at the leftover food or the dirt per se, but rather, the miniature arrangement of crayons placed on top of a napkin. Would it be ridiculous if he asked for some? Was that inappropriate on a date? He wasn't sure, so he merely gawks at the colorful assortment. 

Jeno picks up on his sly peeking and scoots over, waiting a few moments and looking around before he quickly reaches over the top of the booth and swipes up the crayons. He places them down in front of Jaemin with a successful grin.

"Draw me something pretty." He requests, pressing his elbows into the table and putting his chin on his palms. Jaemin beams right back at him. 

Jaemin gets to work and begins doodling while the waitress retrieves their drinks. Jeno acquires what appears to be a glass of tea, and of course, Jaemin orders a cup of coffee. In all honesty, Jeno was concerned about the boy's caffeine intake, but he kept his mouth closed. At least he was enjoying himself. That's all that mattered— for now at least, the sugar thing would definitely get to him sooner or later in life.

The pair orders food not too long after that, and Jaemin is finished drawing. He leans back in his seat, squinting to get a good look, and then he proceeds to hold the napkin up for Jeno to see his masterpiece as well.

"Voila." Jaemin points a finger to the little figure in the center of the material. "It's you." He says proudly. 

"It's really good!" Jeno praises, staring at the sketch— which was surprisingly well put-together for the short amount of time he prepared it in. However, more than Jeno enjoyed looking at the drawing, he loved seeing Jaemin feel validated— so he continues to compliment him and his skills until their food arrives. 

Jaemin pokes a fork at his food for a while, lost in thought as he observes Jeno dig right in. The older boy must have been hungry, because he's done before Jaemin even has half of his pancake cleared from the plate. When this catches Jeno's attention, he lowers his head slightly and apologizes. 

Once they're both done, Jeno pays the bill and grabs Jaemin's hand, leading him outside to get in the car and leave. Jaemin was almost appalled the date was so short, and admittedly, he was kind of disappointed to be going home already. However, he understood if Jeno had other things to do today. 

The blonde twists to face the driver from his spot in the passenger seat. He was grateful for the opportunity to go out at all. "This was a lot of fun. Thank you so much Jen—"

"It's not over yet." Jeno interrupts, pulling out of their parking spot carefully with his hands clamped on the steering wheel.

"What do you mean?" Jaemin quirks an eyebrow.

"We have a full day of plans in store for us, Na Jaemin." Jeno announces, his voice words laced with a snicker. "You didn't really think I'd only take you out to go eat, right? You know me better than that." A smirk grows across his face. 

Jaemin can't do anything but sit back and smile.

"Jeno, I'm going to kill you!" Jaemin yells angrily, dodging the playground equipment as he chases the boy speeding away from him. The sun was exceptionally hot today, and was shining down on the pair of heads below. It was already evening, so Jaemin was tired, but that didn't mean he was willing to let Jeno go that easily. 

The student being threatened doesn't stop, he doesn't even slow down. Instead, he clutches the water gun in his grasp and moves even faster. His endurance was crazy, and Jaemin was not having it. "Not if you can't catch me!" Jeno quips. 

"Stop running! It's cold!" The younger barks, his true motive being that he simply wanted to rest his legs for a second. Jeno had kept this up for a good twenty minutes already, and Jaemin was far from athletic if anything. He felt like he was dying having to run this long.

Finally, Jeno makes a turn and comes back to Jaemin, who is bent over with his hands on his knees while panting. He frowns at the sight, thinking that he took things too far. His intention was never to actually make Jaemin upset.

"I'm sorry, Nana. I was only playing." Jeno rubs the smaller's back with in careful manner, noticing how the front of Jaemin's shirt had water dripping from it on to the ground below. Maybe bringing a water gun to their date wasn't his best idea ever. "Come on, I have an extra hoodie in the back of my car."

They hold hands as they walk all the way to Jeno's car from the park. Jeno places the water gun on the back of the vehicle and starts digging for his hoodie in the backseat. 

"Did I...?" He turns back to Jaemin with the piece of clothing draped over his arm. His eyes slip into big pools of concern, and he appears to be remorseful. "Did I ruin it? I'm really sorry for—"

Jaemin cuts him off with a kiss, jolting forward unexpectedly and pressing the backside of Jeno's hips against the frame of his car. Jeno was caught off guard, leaving him defenseless in this situation, so he lets Jaemin take the lead.

But this doesn't stop Jeno from wrapping his arms around Jaemin's waist, pulling him just a bit closer as they ignore the noises from roaring cars in the background. Jeno's only focus is on the bitter taste of coffee lingering on Jaemin's lips from their breakfast that morning, and he can't dare to draw his thoughts away from that alone. 

A pair of hands begin to roam behind Jeno, but he doesn't stop to question it as he's obviously too preoccupied with other things to pay any mind.

"Sucker." Jaemin mumbles against his boyfriend's mouth, now pointing the barrel of the water gun at his chest. Jeno's eyes widen, but before he's allowed to say anything, Jaemin pulls the trigger and the water is already pouring down Jeno's own abdomen, soaking him through his clothes. 

Jeno closes his eyes and exhales in an attempt to stay calm. "I deserved that." He says, defeated.

"You did." Jaemin blows a puff of wind over the end with a teasing simper.

Jeno laughs and tugs on Jaemin's arm to spin the younger into an embrace. "Do you think they'll let us into the theater like this?" He asks, tilting his head a bit.

"Probably not." Jaemin admits, feeling the thump of Jeno's heart press into his back. "But it doesn't hurt to try."


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> last official chapter as :( I’m gonna miss this book, it was fun to write... epilogue soon though

"I need to do something special."

"Why, exactly?" Mark asks in a monotone voice, eyes peering over the edge of his book. Truthfully, he couldn't care less, but he wanted to show support to his friend despite lack of enthusiasm.

"Are you serious?" Jeno scoffs, scrunching up his features— as if Mark should be able to identify every key event in the younger's life without asking. Jeno looked undeniably offended, and Mark couldn't tell what he did wrong. "My eighth month anniversary with Jaemin is coming up." He reminds the ravenette.

Mark closes the pages loudly and raises a brow in question. "But you celebrate your anniversary every month." He says, recalling the number of times he had heard about their anniversary since the couple first got together. It was too many to count. "Isn't it getting a little expensive?"

"Wow." Jeno says, mouth left agape like he couldn't believe what his ears were picking up on. "You're really going to expect me to budget my relationship?" He inquires, somewhat implying that he was willing to spend any amount of money on his significant other. Mark on the other hand, thought it was a waste of cash unless it was for a milestone. 

"I'm just saying people usually only celebrate the first, sixth, and twelfth months, and then every year after that." He mentions, stepping lightly on Jeno's dangerously marked territory. He was on thin ice, and with one more comment, he'd probably push the brunette over edge— but Mark ignores that risk. "Why don't you just give him something every week at this point?" Mark adds, sarcastically.

"That's a good idea."

"No!" Mark exclaims, putting the book down on the table with a dull thud before pinching the bridge of his nose in aggravation. "Look, what I mean is— it feels a bit excessive. What if Jaemin starts to feel trapped because you keep spending money on him? It'll scare him away."

"I can do my relationship how I want and you can do yours." Jeno advises, remembering that Mark only gave Donghyuck one present over the course of their relationship— and that was for the holidays. They didn't take their anniversaries seriously.

"Fair enough." Mark finally complies, giving in and minding his own business. He figured all hope was lost by now anyways. "So what are you planning?" He leans over the table curiously. 

Jeno presses a finger to the center of his lips as a motion for Mark to be quiet. "It's a secret, dummy. Classified information. I can't have my plans getting potentially leaked by someone like you."

A heavy sigh leaves Mark, and he opens his book once again. "Just don't mess up Yerim's goodbye party this weekend. She would murder you and then you'd never see another anniversary ever again, okay?"

"I won't."

The library drops to silence as the two sit comfortably across the table from each other. Mark indulges in his reading, and Jeno simply stares at the stacks of books on the scattered shelves. It was weird to imagine this as the last time he'd see Mark in this room. The whole ordeal made Jeno more apprehensive about his own graduation, which would take place in only a year. 

"You know..." Mark starts, lifting his head again and pushing up the frame of his reading glasses to keep them from falling. "You've changed so much since you started seeing him." He bites his bottom lip, waiting to see Jeno's reaction.

"Mark." Jeno's gaze tightens as he speaks sternly, not wanting to repeat this argument for the nth time whenever somebody was to ask why he cared so much for Jaemin. "He makes me—"

"You didn't let me finish." Mark blurts, annoyed at how Jeno took it negatively before he could even speak his entire thought. Did the older just assume that he was going to say something hateful? "It's a good change. I'm happy for you." He concludes.

"Oh." Jeno says, the corners of his mouth pulling upwards. "Thank you."

—

Jaemin was nervous about what was up the boy's sleeve. 

Over the holiday season, Jaemin discovered that Jeno turned out to be one of those guys who were really into giving big gifts to show affection. This would be okay every once in a while, but it quickly became a month-to-month routine for Jeno, and Jaemin wasn't sure how to take it. He liked everything of course, but he felt undeserving.

There were a couple times Donghyuck would crack a joke about Jeno being Jaemin's sugar daddy, and everyone would laugh along, but Jaemin was genuinely concerned that his generous gifts were getting a bit too drastic for comfort. He was certain that with a few more months of getting free chocolate, he would probably weigh around seven hundred pounds.

For Christmas, Jeno gifted Jaemin with couple-horseback riding lessons that were meant to bring the closer together. The idea was romantic, but it really just ended up being Jeno falling off of his horse and into a pile of strangely-colored snow. Jaemin tried his hardest not to react, but seeing your boyfriend fall into a pile of tainted dirt isn't exactly something that's easy to keep a straight face at.

New Year's Eve, right after their kiss when the clock struck midnight, Jeno pulled out matching necklaces for the two from his coat pocket and slid one around Jaemin's neck. When Jaemin stopped to ask how much the set costed him, Jeno just kissed him again. 

Eventually, Jeno's dad scolded his frivolous son for spending so much. He took the junior's card away and even went as far as to deny him from going to the store at all without an adult accompanying him. Jaemin thought it was kind of funny— until he had to listen to Jeno whine about not being able to purchase anything. But overall, the rest of January was a gift-free month...

Only for February to arrive, in which Jaemin's locker was stuffed full until it was overflowing with bright flowers on Valentine's Day. Jaemin can still sometimes find little bits of petals in the bottom of his backpack, but he wasn't complaining about it. 

In March, on the day of their sixth month anniversary, the two bought as much film as possible from a local store, so they could spend the whole day taking random pictures together and of each other. That night when they parted ways, each of them claimed half of the photos and took them home. Jaemin ended up putting them in an empty photo album his aunt had lying around, and Jeno placed one in the clear phone case he used.

Finally, for Jeno's birthday in April, Jaemin was the one to give something. Jaemin didn't have a ton of money like Jeno did, but he worked for weeks on a self-drawn portrait of the two together— which Jeno then hugged to his chest and put in a frame to hang on his bedroom wall.

Now it was May— the month of the seniors' graduation. Jaemin continuously insisted that he didn't want anything this month, and that Jeno should save up to give their friends gifts instead, but he wasn't convinced Jeno was listening.

In fact, he had quite the hunch that whatever he said went in one ear and directly out the other. 

—

"Hello! Great to see you guys." Yerim opens the door and smiles politely at both Jaemin and his aunt. She was wearing a lilac dress that flared at her waist, and Jaemin can't help but notice how good his friend looked, shining brightly in the entrance as she greets them. "You probably know the other guys aren't here yet, but I can take you to go say 'hi' to my family." She offers. 

The pair follows Yerim into the backyard, where it looks like everyone in the Kim's extended family is gathered. The adults were lounging around and discussing lord knows what, and Yerim's friends— along with the little kids— were all dancing on one side of the concrete where ribbons and streamers were set up. 

Yerim's mom walks over and wraps her arms around Jaemin when she spots the newcomers. "Hey sweetheart." She says softly, stroking his back as he's pulled into her form. "I heard about what happened. I'm so sorry. If I would have had any idea she was acting like that I woulda—"

"It's okay." Jaemin smiles, chopping off her tangent before he's brought too far back into his own past. "I'm great now— doing a lot better. Thank you." He pulls away and shakes the woman's hand in a gentlemanly fashion.

"That's wonderful." She displays her rows of perfect teeth and then faces Jaemin's aunt, who had been standing there silently up until this point. "Thank you so much for coming to see my baby off. It means a lot to her that you're both able to be here."

"Of course. We wouldn't miss it." Jaemin's aunt speaks for the first time that evening.

Yerim's mom and Jaemin's own were best friends for a long time, so naturally, Jaemin and Mrs.Kim were somewhat close as well. It had been quite a while since they'd last seen each other, but there were many days and nights in which the woman would watch after him when he was young. She was like a second mom for a while. 

The two women start talking along with Yerim, and Jaemin is left to fend for himself. That is, until one of Yerim's little sisters comes up, poking Jaemin gently on the arm, as she was too short to get his attention any other way. She was Yerim's youngest sibling, named Chaewon, and was also only about six or seven years old.

"Nan— Jaemin." She corrects herself, trying to be mature. Her cheeks start burning a bright red when she recollects her words. "Will you dance with me? Yerim said she was too busy earlier when I asked and I have nobody to dance with."

Jaemin looks down at the child and reaches out, grabbing the hand extending towards him and dragging her out into the open where a few other little kids— Yerim's relatives— were moving along to whatever was playing on the speaker. Chaewon was half his size, but he bends down a bit to help her hold on.

Slowly yet surely, Jaemin starts to dance little steps here and there, being patient enough to let Chaewon catch on to what he was doing and copy his actions. She refuses to look the teenage boy in the eye the entire time, but you can see that she's enjoying herself— especially when Jaemin takes a step back and lifts her arm above her head, twisting the little girl gracefully. 

A couple other kids swarm around the two, asking if they could have a chance to be partners with Jaemin and grabbing at his clothes anxiously. Jaemin gets slightly overwhelmed with the number of children fighting for his attention, but he laughs it off, finding them adorable. He liked kids, and hoped to have a few of his own someday. Not soon, but in the future. It would be nice. 

"No! He's mine!" Chaewon chants at last, waving her arms around in the air with furrowed eyebrows in an attempt to get them to leave her and Jaemin alone. And they do. 

Jaemin snickers quietly at the huffing girl and grabs her hand once more. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." He continues to sway like they were before the interruption. 

"Yerim is." She frowns, looking suddenly upset.

Jaemin's expression softens, and he crouches down to match her height. He pats the top of her head lovingly. He was an only child, so he had no idea what it was like to say goodbye to your oldest sibling, but he assumed it must be hard. "She'll come back. Your sister won't be gone for too long, and you'll be able to see her again before you know it." He tries to reassure her, but not to much avail. 

"I don't have a lot of friends." She admits lowly, her eyes seeming to catch focus on the ground instead of Jaemin. "And now that Yerim is going away, her friends will stop coming over too. You already stopped a long time ago..."

He feels his heart crack a little bit with her words, and he the guilty cavity only grows as he tries to explain. "I'm sorry about that. But look— I'm here now, and I'm your friend." He tells Chaewon.

"Can we have playdates? You and Me?" She looks up at last, a sliver of hope mixed into her sad expression.

Jaemin pulls his lips into a thin line and nods slowly. "I'm a bit older, so I'm busy sometimes— but if your mom is okay with it, I don't see why not. Now let me see that smile." His tone is as sweet as sugar, and the tiny girl can't help but melt at the sound.

Chaewon bursts into a big smile, causing Jaemin to duck down into a hug, mumbling that everything would be alright and not to worry so much. She believes him.

"Cute." A familiar voice cuts in between the special moment, and both of the people on the ground tilt their chins up to reveal Jeno standing tall in his suit and freshly-styled hair. He was dressed rather sharply, just like everyone else there. But even though his attire was similar, he stood out, looking exceptionally dashing. 

"Hey!" Jaemin stands up and comes closer to the boy, pecking him on the lips and giggling when they meet.

"You didn't think I'd miss it, did you?" Jeno asks, reaching out to adjust the crooked section of Jaemin's shirt collar.

Before Jaemin can respond, they both notice the little girl staring at them with a baffled look written on her face. Obviously, she had no idea what was going on, so the sight must have been rather confusing to her. She was young, after all. She had probably never seen anyone kiss other than her parents before. 

"Oh— Chae, this is my boyfriend, Lee Jeno." Jaemin gestures to the other male and introduces him promptly. 

She holds out a hand to the larger of the two shyly, awaiting a handshake.

Jeno grips on to her hand gently, but lifts it to his lips and kisses the back— much like Chaewon had witnessed princes do in her storybooks. Jeno sure knew how to make people swoon no matter what age, that was for sure. 

"He's very handsome." Chaewon says with an awe-filled tone, taking her time to admire Jeno from head to toe.

Jaemin grins, slinging an arm around his boyfriend and poking at his chin playfully. "I know, right? I keep telling him he could be a model." He coos.

The small girl gets lost deep in thought while flicking her eyes between the two before pointing at Jaemin's head with confidence. "He should dye his hair the color of yours."

"Oh my goodness you're right." Jaemin fakes a gasp, spinning on his heels to look at Jeno and imagine him with blonde hair. He decides after short contemplation that it would indeed, be stunning on the older. "That'd look really ho-"

Jeno clears his throat. "Stop it you two." His face stains red, proving that he had become undeniably flustered by their conversation about his appearance. 

Without much more thought, Chaewon excuses herself, dramatically saying that she's going to go find all the snacks and eat them until she 'passes out.' The couple laughs in reply, bidding her goodbye with kind waves.

"Where are the rest of the guys?" Jaemin asks. 

Jeno looks up at the warm-colored sky for a moment to process, concurrently gaping at the beautiful sunset that was starting to set above them. "They're inside." He confirms after some time. "Do you want to go see them?"

"Sure."

The couple spends the whole evening laughing and joking around with their friends. It's as if they completely forget that two of their friend group's members, Lucas and Mark, would also be leaving soon. Despite the inevitability of being miles away, they assure each other that they won't let it affect their friendship. Jaemin was glad, considering he had gotten attached to everyone after their experiences together. 

Also, Jeno doesn't seem to have a gift hidden, which is good news for the party. None of them could imagine what it would be like if the brunette decided to distract the guests and steal Yerim's thunder with his own disgustingly-adorable gift of love that evening.

Later on into the night, a large cake is brought out, and Yerim's parents cut it, serving a piece to everyone who wanted some meanwhile thanking them once more for coming. It was chocolate, so there was no way Jaemin could resist getting some.

The highlight of the night is probably when Yerim's little brother makes the quick decision to chuck a piece of cake in Mark's direction, hitting said male square in the face with the dessert and then getting yelled at by Mr.Kim. Donghyuck of course, finds this to be incredibly amusing and nearly falls off his chair in a fury of aggressive laughter. That is, until Mark slams his own slice into the noisy boy's nose.

Things settle down when everybody at the party gathers in the backyard for slow dancing. Yerim, being the comedian she is, holds up her dog and rocks back and forth with it in her arms while everyone else stares into the eyes of their lover. 

Jaemin's hands are wrapped around the back of Jeno's neck when he speaks up, making sure to keep his voice low in order to avoid others hearing him. "You know, we all thought you were going to crash Yerim's party." He snickers.

"Oh?" Jeno asks, his hands placed on Jaemin's waist while they dance. "Why's that?" He questions, playing dumb as if he didn't already know the answer. 

"Well, our anniversary is tomorrow, so I guess all of us expected a—"

"A gift." Jeno deadpans. "I know."

The word falls from Jaemin's mouth like it's being weighed down. "Yeah." The blonde states, embarrassed for bringing it up in the first place. They hadn't really spoken about it as an issue before, so Jaemin stiffened trying to address it as such.

Jeno exhales deeply, almost sympathetically. "I'm sorry. I meant to get one, but I would've ended up being late if I stopped to buy something." He apologizes, but Jaemin only seems to grow more distressed with that.

"I don't need your presents." Jaemin whimpers under his grasp. He wished that Jeno wouldn't be so determined to buy things for him at every given chance. He was more than content only being around the older. "You've already given me more than enough."

"It hasn't been that much—"

Jaemin shakes his head. "You don't get it." 

Jeno shoots a questioning look, but he keeps quiet.

"In a way..." Jaemin starts, his bottom lip threatening to quiver as he chokes back a few tears poking him. He didn't expect himself to get so emotional tonight, but hey, a little emotion never hurt anyone, right?

"You saved my life, Jeno."

Jeno stops moving. His brain shuts down when that sentence leaves Jaemin's mouth, and he doesn't know what to do now. Thoughts begin to rush, distancing himself from his current location and circumstances. The earth goes silent, and the music is muted. 

He flashes back to when they first met. How Jaemin used to look at him with fear in his eyes— that was now nothing but pure adoration. He remembers being so scared to get close to the younger boy, when it probably should have been the other way around. The irony of it all was something he could chuckle at now, wishing he could go back and tell past Jeno that meeting Na Jaemin would be one of the best choices of his life. 

How he fell for Jaemin over time, and how even the idea of the two of them being together caused so many problems— it didn't matter now. He fell hard, and he would continue to fall for the rest of his life. How could he not? Standing here and looking at him now, it still seemed unreal.

Thinking back, Jeno was doomed from the start. Destined to slip head over heels for none other than 'sticker boy'. 

He points a finger into Jaemin's chest and opens his mouth to speak, not exactly knowing what would come out.

"No... you saved your life."

That's what breaks Jaemin. In a single motion, he dives into Jeno's chest and buries himself in the older's sweet scent. Jeno was so warm, like a fire that wasn't ashamed to burn for who he loved. Jaemin almost felt unworthy of that loved one being himself. 

"But I couldn't have done it without you." Jaemin whispers as Jeno encloses his arms around the smaller body. "Jewelry, clothes, flowers... they're all materialistic. The fact that you've made me feel important is something I can never repay you for."

"Yes you can." Jeno speaks slowly and wipes a dripping tear from the curve of Jaemin's cheek before it can fall on his own clothes.

"How?" Jaemin croaks.

"Promise to me..." Jeno starts, using his droopy, love-stricken eyes to glance at the sky— observing the twinkling stars placed strategically above all of the world's beings (none of which were as special as Jaemin). "Promise you'll never let yourself feel less than anyone else or be told what to do. You're so precious, Nana. Not just to me, but in general. Don't ever hurt yourself or allow anyone else hurt you ever again. If they have a problem with it, they can come see me personally."

Jaemin shows off his trademark grin through the veil of tears and looks forward to kiss Jeno under the pale moonlight, his features highlighted with glistening beams.

"I promise."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for the love and support you guys have shown, it means a lot to me <3
> 
> this is actually my first ever completed narrative book, as well as my first time writing anything for nomin. it has been so much fun :)


	34. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :)

—15 years later—

"Do I get a sticker?"

"Of course, silly." Jaemin ruffles the head of black hair in front of him and reaches into his desk, pulling out a sheet of stickers in order to give the squirming child a glitter-coated, pink heart from one of the corners. "You did really well today. I'm proud of the progress you've made." He beams.

"Yay! Thank you, Doctor Nana!" The patient jumps out of his seat, snatching the sticker out of Jaemin's hand and slapping it on his chest. He glances down at the object with sparkly eyes before coming forward and wrapping his tiny arms around Jaemin tightly, hugging the man.

Jaemin smiles. Admittedly, this was his favorite part of the job— seeing children grow under his influence to become positive and bright people. Though, he certainly couldn't take all the credit when they put in an immense amount of effort as well.

The blonde packs up his things, as that was his last appointment for the day. He loved his job to bits, and clocking in every morning was sure to leave him excited, but he also couldn't wait to get home after a long schedule. Just like any normal person, he felt a sense of relief every time he kicked off his shoes and plopped down across his sofa.

Just like on most days, his last patient's appointment ran overtime, which meant that he was even more ready to get back to the house and eat. Lunch was a devastatingly long time ago, and Jaemin wasn't sure how much longer he could hold up without munching down on something delicious to soothe the waves of angry grumbles in his stomach. 

While shuffling some files into his bag, the glint of the wedding ring on Jaemin's finger catches his eye, and a loving sigh departs him in a whirl. No matter where he was, there always seemed to be some kind of reminder. A reminder as to why he vowed to work so hard in the first place. All for the sake of his developing family, after all. 

Jaemin is in the middle of twisting his office's doorknob when his ringtone begins to blare from inside his pocket. Repositioning his bag to shift it on to the other arm, Jaemin digs for his phone and checks the screen to see who's calling. 

His secretary, Donghyuck, turns out to be the one reaching out over the line. Jaemin accepts, obviously, and steps away from the door to answer the call.

"Hello?"

"Your bitchass husband is in the lobby again." Donghyuck groans in annoyance, obviously bothered by the fact that Jaemin's spouse had started to pick him up every day. It wasn't the fact that Jaemin was married that bothered him— it was the constant public displays of affection he was subject to enduring when the two were in the same room. 

Jaemin clicks his tongue and takes a quick look around the room, making sure he didn't forget anything like he did last night. "My last client ran overtime. Tell him I'll be there soon." Donghyuck complies and proceeds to hang up, leaving nothing but silence yet again for the younger male.

With a final glance, Jaemin leaves the room behind him, turning off the light on his way out. He swerves down the endless abundance of hallways— there were surprisingly a lot, considering how small Jaemin's portion of the building was. It always seemed to take way too long to reach the exit— and Jaemin swore it would be a hazard in a fire someday.

When Jaemin steps into the lobby, he spots the sharp-faced brunette seated in a chair near the door, bouncing their son on his lap and laughing happily as the child giggles in response to the motion.

Jaemin's heart warms at the sight. The two lights of his life were sitting right there, waiting for him to join them, and he couldn't be more glad. 

Jaemin walks over to the father and son duo, bending over a bit to kiss the child on the top of the head. "Hi, sugar. Did you and Daddy have fun today?" He asks, full of enthusiasm from knowing that he was now able to come home and spend time with his family.

"Yes Dada!" The boy cheers, smiling from ear to ear at Jaemin's presence. 

Dada. It's what Jaemin was dubbed thanks to Jeno constantly referring to him as "Nana" and their son getting confused. It was his first word, actually. Jaemin could vividly recall making dinner one night when the baby on the floor shouted it out in the middle of playing with some pots and pans on the ground.

"Where's mine, baby?" Jeno interrupts Jaemin's thoughts with a needy whine, feeling deprived of his husband's affection. He was like this every day, but Jaemin didn't mind— in fact, he found the older's pouting to be rather adorable. They weren't kids anymore, but that didn't stop Jeno from acting like one for the most part. 

Jaemin puckers his lips and leans down to kiss Jeno. Nearing the edge of his seat, Jeno prepares himself for a big smooch, but is instead met with a large butterfly sticker placed over the center of his mouth. 

Jeno lets out a muffled groan in reaction to the blockage. Jaemin was such a tease sometimes, and he absolutely hated it.

"I'm just kidding." Jaemin giggles and moves the sticker, replacing its spot with his lips at last. The brilliant swarm of internal butterflies inhabit their guts and the two are drawn together with just as much passion and affection as they always had. It was something Jaemin loved about their marriage, the way the spark never left.

"Yuck!" Yubin screeches, shuffling to get off of Jeno's legs because when didn't want to withstand another second of watching his parents be sweet to each other. It was torturous to the innocent eyes of a five-year-old.

Together, the two start attacking Yubin with tickles in the middle of the lobby and the child erupts into a fit of squeals. He struggles, but Jeno's grip is enough to keep him in place.

Donghyuck smiles fondly at the family, secretly wishing he had one of his own. Things had been different since he and Mark cut off their engagement, and he wasn't even able to think about getting a child— especially now that he was alone. It just wouldn't make sense.

"Come here you little squirt." Jeno grabs on to Yubin's leg to stop said limb from kicking him. "Are you ready to go home and get dinner?" He asks, stirring up a calmer behavior from the child. 

"Yeah, let's go." Yubin gets up and grabs on to one of each of his parents' hands, immediately pulling them along to the exit door. "I'm hungry." He stomps, thinking that it would get him to the car faster. 

"Bye Hyuck!" Jaemin turns back and uses his free hand to wave goodbye to his friend, who returns it with a lopsided grin.

"Have a nice night, guys."

"And then this morning, Daddy tried to make me what he said was called a— a waddle?" Yubin tries to share his story with Jaemin, only to get his words confused about halfway through. 

"A waffle." Jeno corrects for clarification, lifting one of his hands off the steering wheel and pointing a finger to the ceiling. "I tried to make you a waffle."

"Right, a waddle." He continues, completely disregarding Jeno's interruption. "Anyways, Daddy messed it up, so then he took me to get a muffin, and he told me not to tell you that he broke the waddle maker." The boy laughs, playing with his feet in the backseat of the car. With this, Jeno snaps his head to look at Jaemin fearfully.

"You broke the waffle iron?" Jaemin raises his eyebrows in surprise, restricting a snicker.

"Look— those things are confusing—" Jeno starts.

Jaemin laughs carelessly. "It's okay." He twists his body to face the back of the car and gives Yubin a fist bump, wiggling his fingers after the two hands make contact. "Thank you for telling the truth."

"Of course, Dada." Yubin nods and puffs out his chest— much like he had seen Jeno do quite often. "You can trust me." He shoots Jaemin a thumbs up. 

After pulling into the driveway, Jeno and Jaemin unload their child from the vehicle and usher him inside without further instruction. He doesn't object today— usually, Yubin would insist on eating outside because it was the 'funer' thing to do. When they enter the house, the chubby cat approaches the trio, rubbing against their legs with a low purr. 

"Jellybean!" Yubin screams at the sight of his pet, dropping to his knees, so he can play with the feline and pull her tail as he pleases. "You're getting so fat." He comments, poking the pudge around Jellybean's tummy.

Jeno crouches down and pets the cat, who curves against his hand at the pressure. "She's not fat, she's fluffy." He claims, swirling her fur around in an entertained fashion. 

"If you say so..." The boy's voice trails off. He wasn't buying it.

A few moments later, Jeno helps Yubin untie his shoes and then stands up. "Now come on, let's get you watching some cartoons while Dada and I make dinner." He says, making a beeline to the living room. 

Yubin trails closely behind and sits on the couch, watching as Jeno navigates the television guide. "Stay away from the waddle maker, okay?" He advises, not wanting a disaster like the one from this morning to happen again.

Jeno bites back a scoff and an eye roll, speaking through bared teeth. "Don't worry about that, honey."

"He's getting so big already." Jaemin huffs, moving around the kitchen and fetching a glass of water for himself— which he then gulps down it what's probably all of ten seconds

"You're telling me." Jeno says while entering the room, seemingly in disbelief. "Today when I took him to the park, he tried to play hide-and-seek with me." He says, stressed upon merely the memory of his adventure in the wild nature.

"Why is that a problem?" Jaemin inquires, pulling out a pan from one of the cabinets hanging overhead. 

There's a pause.

"He didn't tell me we were playing." Jeno replies quietly. 

Jaemin can't contain his laugh as he makes light of the scenario, amused at the thought of Jeno scurrying around to find Yubin— only to realize the two were playing a game. He can easily picture the horrified expression on Jeno's face.

The traumatized Jeno throws his hands up in the air. "It's not funny! I almost called you because I got so scared he ran away." He admits, visually upset by what had happened under his surveillance. Honestly, Jaemin was more expectant of Jeno to get lost than their son. 

"He's only five." Jaemin deadpans while coming forward to rest a hand on Jeno's shoulder. "He can't run away."

Jeno purses his lips and looks away, avoiding the younger's gaze. "Well he almost did today."

Jaemin decides to let go of that topic for now, needing to focus on dinner. "So...what are we making?"

About an hour later, everyone is seated around the dining room table, steaming plates of pasta in front of them. Jeno is already halfway through his serving when Jaemin clears his throat, turning to the tiny boy across the table.

"So Yubin, your first year of school is starting soon. Are you excited?" He asks. Personally, Jaemin himself was super excited for his kid to enter the education system. School was a giant thing in childhood, so he knew it would be rather impactful on Yubin as a developing child. 

"I guess so..." Yubin twirls his fork on his plate mindlessly. 

Jaemin takes notice of his oddly 'down' attitude, and he sets his own silverware on his plate. "What's wrong?"

"What if the other kids have more friends than me?" Yubin suddenly asks, appearing to be self-conscious of his social status before it even existed. "Or what if they have little sisters or brothers to play with? I don't have that."

Jeno perks up, lifting his head away from his food and gaping at his son. "Are you saying you want a sibling?" He asks.

"I dunno, kinda" Yubin shrugs, only to retract his statement a few seconds afterwards. "Okay— yes, really badly. I want someone else in the house."

Jeno looks at Jaemin, who was the now the same color as the red sauce on his noodles. They had talked a little bit about adding another member to the family, but they hadn't seriously taken it into consideration yet.

"I'm sure you'll make tons of friends." Jaemin says reassuringly. He was being truthful, he had no doubt that Yubin would attract quite a bit of attention. "And about the sibling thing... your father and I will see what we can do." He adds, trying to choke down a noodle that had been caught up in his throat.

"Promise?" Yubin extends a pinky finger in Jaemin's direction, offering it to him. "Daddy said you never break a promise."

"Promise." Jaemin locks it with his own and shakes the little digit up and down. "Now eat your food or else I'll be sad." He fakes a frown in order to get the kid to change the subject. 

"Okay!"

Jaemin is getting unready that night when he feels a tight grip snake around the small of his waist. His mouth pulls into a circular shape as he gasps in response to the pair of lips that curl over his neck, fanning a warm breath over him and making him shudder. 

He spits his toothpaste into the sink, cleansing his mouth of the substance so he can speak. "Nono, what are you doing?" The younger stares at his husband through the mirror. Jeno was only half-undressed. He was still wearing his dress pants from that day, but his button-down shirt was split down the middle, revealing his bare torso. 

"Yubin said he wanted a sister or brother." Jeno continues to trail little bites over the skin. He knew that was Jaemin's weak point, and he was eager to not back down. The older was fully willing to take advantage of how sensitive Jaemin was to his contact.

It takes every ounce of willpower in Jaemin's body to turn around and flick Jeno on the forehead playfully. "You know that's not how this works, silly."

"Yubin doesn't have to know that." Jeno deadpans, a devilish smirk crawling up to his features. "We'll contact the adoption agency behind his back and not relay a single thing." He grabs on to Jaemin's waist again— but from the front this time, and a lot gentler. Even after all these years, he was still the bashful, caring Jeno that Jaemin knew and loved so dearly.

"Are you sure we're ready for another kid?" Jaemin's eyes soften and bits of concern begin to deep through. He sounded unsure. "You're finally going to be able to go back to work with Yubin starting school and all, are you sure we need another? How will we handle it?" He questions— and there are a million more resting in his pretty little head, but he doesn't get the chance to ask them all. 

The brunette hums, cutting off Jaemin's series of useless inquiries. "We can do anything as long as we're together." He smiles sweetly.

Jaemin groans at the Jeno's unbearably-romantic comments, and he rolls his eyes. "I hate you and your sweet talk sometimes."

"No you don't." Jeno sing-songs, tilting his head with a pout. "You love all of me." He throws a wink in Jaemin's direction, still attached to his hip. 

Jaemin tilts forward and challenges the older with a knowing smirk. "Do I?"

Upon that, Jeno chases Jaemin down the hall, tackling him and pinning the younger to their bed. He grabs on to Jaemin's wrists and holds them above his head, lust mixing in his eyes. Even through the obvious yearning, Jaemin can see the adoration in him, and an overwhelming rush of emotions washes over the younger. The larger frame hovering over him— Jaemin stares at it for as long as he can, soaking up every moment. 

Jeno starts littering Jaemin's face and neck with tiny pecks until Jaemin is laughing so hard he can't breathe. But he wants to, just to tell Jeno how much the latter means to him. He would use every molecule of oxygen left in his body for that alone.

"You're right. I love you." Jaemin gives in, as if it wasn't clear already. 

"I know." Jeno buries his face in Jaemin's neck, allowing his kisses to linger for an extended amount of time. 

Their journey was a long one, and even though there was some struggle along the way, Jaemin wouldn't turn back for the world. He really felt like the two were fated to end up in each other's arms.

Jeno suddenly looks up from the mark forming on Jaemin's throat. "So... are you down to 'make' another baby or what?" He jokes, only making Jaemin want to hit him in the chest. 

But Jaemin can't, so he settles for a chuckle. "Go lock the door, you dork."


End file.
